Ministry and the "Second Face"

Here's something I encountered along the way in my "ministry as profession" career. Somewhere I realized that I had developed a "second face" as a result of my position. This second face was the professional side of ministry. To be professional is to not let personal issues prevent one from carrying out the duties of the office. (This was Bill Clinton's defense). I wore the second face up front often, but when I would try and revert to the original face, I found some people wanted to relate to the other. Now the second face doesn't have to mean one lives a drastic double life, where a sinister darkenss is being masked from everyone. It can be very subtle, which is what I felt mine was. Bottom line, it felt like I had to hide something out of fear of getting caught and losing my job. One "second face" issue was alcohol. I really enjoy beer and wine and I've even taking to brewing my own, simply because I love the process of creating something beautiful from a raw product. Cooperating with the natural process of fermentation (which I assume God created), I am fascinated at turning grapes or grain into a completely different result. This is my first face. But the tradition that I grew and worked in had a completely different view, so I was not free to explore this unless I was to hide it. This meant that I would have a beer with dinner only when I knew I wouldn't get caught, like when I was out of state or country. I started feeling like a phony. Now I understand the exhortation to not let freedom be a stumbling block for someone weaker, and fully try and apply that, but what I did not like was this "second face" that I felt I had no choice but to wear. I hope this does not sound like defense of alcohol, because the "second face" could be a requirement of anything that does not fit into the norms or mores of a community of faith. Jesus calls us to be free, not to have to hide out of fear. That freedom needs to have a positive direction to it. (I am free, therefore I........) Often, freedom is followed by a condition (I am free, but....). It is this condition that usually demands a "second face."