Will be capable of saying no to recognition.

I was at a worship conference years ago and chose the workshop titled, “Submitting your song.” As an inspiring young song writer, I thought maybe this might help me get some of my work noticed. The guy leading the seminar was from a company who discovered the song “Heart of Worship” by Matt Redman. He was very proud of this song and proceeded to tell us the story of how it was written. The church Mr. Redman was leading at the time was encountering a season of sloth in its approach to worship. The leadership began to detect this and decided the proper response in addressing it was to remove music from their times of worship, to sit quietly together and simply allow the Spirit to move in their midst. It was reported that an incredible time of renewal came upon their congregation. The line from the lyric, “I’ll bring you more than a song…” reflects that time. Seminar Guy encouraged questions from us in attendance, so I asked him if there was ever a time when they found an awesome song like that, but decided to leave it alone because it was too sacred to be thrust upon the masses. He had no idea what I was asking. I tried to clarify by exploring the notion of allowing a song to stay where it was born and letting it live out its useful days there, instead of seeing it as the next big thing and recording and selling the life out of it. My bottom line question was, “Have you ever found a great song you knew would sell, but did not bring yourself to try and get that song noticed?” “No.” Next question. I may just be judgmental, but there is something in me that wanted to hear the guy say yes, followed by a number of examples of how their company let an incredible song be. But instead it was more about finding the next big hit. Suddenly, getting a song noticed lost some of its luster. What was becoming of my motive for song writing? Was it to bless the people I was leading, or was it to make a name for myself? I’ll admit it’s a pretty good buzz to hear someone sing your stuff. I’m not sure I have the maturity to handle too much of that kind of success. Which bring me to my point, that the Worship Leader of the Church of the Future will not be seduced by popularity, recognition or fame. But instead will have the ability to say no to all of it, even if it means not allowing a song to be noticed. Instead, he or she is able to keep it as an intimate and sacred expression for the flock.

Will become a psalmist

The worship leader in the Church of the Future will understand the importance of putting his or her congregational experiences into words. King David did this for his people, and it was such an important part of cultural life, it became canonized. Every expression of church needs to identify the people with a gift of writing and allow them to chronicle it's journey. The ability to look back over personal history gives perspective, reminds us of where we have been and how faith has grown as a result. God constantly put this one word in front of His people; Remember. Psalms don’t necessarily need to be music. Some of David’s works might have been publicly sung, and are noted, for the choir director, but we don’t use them in the same manner today. Don’t make writing music a requirement. First encourage writing. This is one of the cool things about the blog world. The Internet has given everyone a voice, despite whether or not they have anything good to say. An aspiring psalmist doesn’t need to wait around on someone to give permission. She can just write. If it’s good, others will eventually find out. So if you’re reading this and think you might be able to fill this role, but are not currently writing, I ask “Why not?” Don’t wait for someone to give you permission or a position before you start. Write first for you.

Must express worship outside the realm of music.

How many times have you heard, or even said yourself, that worship is not about singing songs? I once heard a guy speak at a leaders conference about worship, going on and on about how it’s more than a song, more than a band, more than music. He spoke passionately to this group of young leaders about being aware that God wants more than just singing. He ended his time by saying we were going to worship together. I was intrigued by what we would do after such a talk. We sang. I was so disappointed. Here was a leader of leaders, expounding on the need to understand that worship is more than a song, and yet when it came time to “worship,” we did the same old thing. We sang songs. The Worship Leader of the Future will take seriously the need to lead people to express worship outside the realm of music. Worship Music has become a product, and a commodity and I believe there needs to be a shift away from that. I’m not saying that music is wrong or has no place in the expression of worship. It will always be a part of our devotion toward God. Music lets us say things that mere words alone would not. But if we are going to seriously proclaim that worship is more than a song, we’ve got to be willing and able to back that up through leadership. King David questioned his ability to offer praise from the grave. Only living beings respond. Dead ones don’t. No life. No Worship. If The Worship Leader of the Future will put his/her effort toward awakening hearts to fully and deeply experience Life to the Full, maybe then worship will be a more common, everyday occurrence, music or not.

Must learn to lead people, not music

What I observe in the worship movement over the last 20 years is that worship has become a product and not an expression. Worship music is a viable economic genre in the music industry. If you have a good voice and can play an instrument, and are a decent person, you can probably make a name for yourself if you get the right breaks. Notice I said nothing about leading people. All one has to do is lead music. The problem enters when you want to do music that your congregation or audience doesn’t want to sing. This is when you find out what kind of leader you are. Will you simply be a dispenser of religious goods and services via the songs you choose, or will you have the savvy to recognize and go to task against a consumptive spirit that demands to be fed? I got started leading music in front of people around 1990. The praise band thing was very new. Not many in my circle were aware of the shift that was occurring. They just thought I was hip and innovative. I didn’t have the spine to say I was following someone else’s lead. We took lots of risks in those days. We took some heat for it at times, but for the most part people followed where we led them. We used lots of different styles of music and other expressions of awe and gratitude. It was a great experience. But as time went on, something odd started to happen. It was not new any longer. The rise of the worship rock star caused people to want to sing his songs. It became more difficult to lead locally with intimate expressions that flowed from our own congregational life. The public wanted what was on the CD, not what was on the leader’s heart. It was at this point nearly three years ago, when I witnessed people evaluating a so-called worship experience. You could have exchange the word “food” for “worship” and get the same result. I didn’t like this….Too much…Too long…. Not familiar…I want…I like…I prefer…etc, etc. etc. I knew if I were to keep doing what I was doing, I was in for a long, uphill climb. It became clear that the next leg of the journey would fall to the leader who can lead people out of this consumptive mode. I determined I was not up for the task within that world. I decided to step out and take a different path. It’s been that long since I picked up my guitar. Not out of self-pity, but rather out of deference. Is worship more than songs, more than my instrument, more than my position on stage in front of people? Is it more than CD’s and concerts and bands and cool personalities? I plan to find out.

The Worship Leader of the Future

As a person who held a position in the Church As We Know It for several years as Worship Leader, I offer my thoughts on a few things the person in that role needs to consider if he or she is serious about moving forward and not stagnating. My next posts will cover these ideas The Worship Leader of the Future… …Must learn to lead people, not worship. …Must express worship outside of the realm of music …Will become a psalmist …Will have the courage to say no to recognition.

Led by Ordinary People

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Perception is reality”? This was a new one to me, heard on the radio recently. It was used to describe baseball player Barry Bonds alleged steroid use. People form an opinion about Barry Bonds, not because they have accurate, truthful information about it, but rather based on how they perceive the situation. This is why lawyers and politicians rely on spin doctors to position their story in a way that the public will receive it the way they want. Our culture will grow continually suspect of information they receive. Who can you believe anymore? Network news? Cable news? Talk radio? Internet bloggers? These sources all spin their stories according to an agenda. If I want to know how the war in Iraq is doing, who do I believe? At any point during the day I can find conflicting reports, one says it’s going well; the other says it’s a lost cause. So who do I believe when I want to know the condition of the Church As We Know It? Media will tell me one thing. Denominational leaders will tell me another. The Emergent Guy has his opinion. So does the Purpose Driven guy. GodMen think they’ve got the answer, as does the numerous Christian authors who are pissed at the church but not at Jesus. The answer? I’m not really sure, but I do think I see a result. More and more ordinary people like you and me will realize that it doesn’t really matter what everyone else thinks. The average, everyday, ordinary guy will find that the experts don’t really have all the answers and that what really matters is how he lives his life each day. Once this shift occurs, men will stop feeling like they have to rely on the Church As We Know It to validate their visions. They will act upon what they believe needs to be done, not upon what is perceived as the common, acceptable way of doing ministry. More and more men will take hold of leadership of the Church of the Future and stop waiting around for someone to validate and affirm their manhood.

Less Polarizing II

Anger is everywhere I look. The guy that flipped me off in the parking lot waiting on someone to back out of a parking space. The Christian talk show host railing against the Democrats. The lady in line at Target yelling at her kids. I’m not sure why, but I have started watching for anger in our culture and I am amazed at what I see. Why are we so angry as a society? What’s driving all this madness? Whenever I see a puzzling, intriguing or uncomfortable behavior in someone else, I try and remember Jesus’ words and look for that very behavior in my own life. It’s a whole lot easier to study that way, because I can ask myself questions all day long, where as Mr. Drive-By-Finger guy left before I could ask him what the hell his problem was. What makes me angry? Usually it’s when I have been thwarted in some way. I want something and can’t have it, so I get mad. I would guess it’s the same for you, too. It doesn’t matter if its sleep, respect or the remote. If we don’t get it, an irritation develops; one that can easily lead to anger. What helps ease the emotion is if we have an advocate for our desire. A simple act of saying “I’m sorry” can quench the fires of many angry hearts. But in our culture, who stands for us? We are mostly alone. We are left to fend for ourselves. So if anger is provoked internally by me not getting my way, is this the same reason for anger in the Church As We Know It? Is your pastor or favorite bible teacher angry? Are your deacons angry? Are key leaders in your church angry? Maybe it’s because they are not getting their way. Years ago, The Church As We Knew It walked in close step with a common morality among the people our culture. Local governments liked the influence of churches because it helped them do their job and vice versa. Why do you think there were no alcohol sales on Sunday? But over time, those rules became irrelevant, and so was the Church. The Church isn’t getting its way, and many of its leaders are pissed. But if I am going to ever hope for sweeping change, I must firmly grasp the fact that change always begins with me, then with us. I will never see any kind of transformation if I try to start with you, and fail to include how I need to change in order to be a part of the solution. Polarity won’t win this kind of battle.

Less Polarizing

The Church of the Future is going to have to reckon with certain issues if it is going to have anything to do with the redemptive work of which it claims it is a part. A big one is what it will do concerning homosexuality. I’m not implying that it needs to decide if it is right or wrong. What I am saying is that the Church of the Future will need to know how to contend with the issue, because it’s not going away anytime soon. If you are a sports fan and listen to talk radio like I do, you probably heard the week-long topic of discussion of John Amaechi and Tim Hardaway. For those out of the loop, Haradway, a former NBA player, made some very strong, hateful comments toward Amaechi, after he announced he was gay. Amaechi wrote a book about his NBA career and what it was like being a homosexual in the sport. Hardaway in these words said, “I hate gay people.” One of the myriad of talking personalities during the week commented on how statements like these only serve to further the cause of the person being attacked. Amaechi comes out looking better and sells more books, while Hardaway creates a stain on his image that probably won’t ever buff out. This is a deeply polarizing issue for the Church As We Know It. But I propose that the Church of the Future not take an “us versus them” stance. Like it or not, the condition is going to be with us for a while. It will only continue to gain mainstream support, and the Church As We Know will either be backed into a corner by it, or it will learn how to be kind, compassionate and gracious, thereby proving its faith is something worth having. In the faith tradition I grew up in, there seemed to be an unwritten rule that to have compassion on someone who disagrees with your morals is to somehow compromise your own personal morality. One guy I knew wouldn’t give any help to street people because he said it wouldn’t do any good, and that it was probably their wrong choices that got them into that situation, so to give them money would just reinforce those poor decisions. He could use the Bible to reinforce his position, too.

More Free II

As parents, we want to do a good job raising our kids. It’s very easy to set boundaries and rules for children to follow. They need structure and guidelines to help their progress toward maturity. But as my wife and I have found, there is a continual relaxing of those very rules as a child gets older. The reason being we want them to make their own decisions. We have not succeeded as parents if by age 18 we are still telling our kids what to wear and what to do. The Church of the Future will need to understand and embrace this idea as it interacts with its surrounding culture. There is no longer any kind of common morality between the Church as We Know It and our society at large. If playing by the rules is the starting point for the conversation, the Church as We Know It is not going to find many people with which to speak. Instead, the Church of the Future will have the ability to walk along side and wait, just as in the story of the Prodigal Son. I call it the “Eat until you’re hungry” approach. The son was clamoring for his freedom, and the father willingly gave it to him, and even saw fit to fund it as we. The father knew that there was no way the son would ever understand how good he had it until he set him free to do whatever he pleased. He sent him out to get his fill, to eat and eat and eat until he got hungry. His freedom led to an epiphany; his life is going nowhere. And it took unbridled freedom for him to find that out. Freedom to do ill as well as freedom to change. The Church of the Future will adopt this kind of fatherly role. Instead of being frantic that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, it will stand secure in what it believes without trying to force or manipulate others to change, but instead being ready to love, willing to forgive, and thus proving the faith it holds dear.

More Free

Freedom should not be that hard to understand, but trying to explain the spiritual concept sometimes seems harder than trying to describe the doctrine of the Trinity. Freedom is freedom. Period. It means you have permission to do whatever you desire. If you’re not free to do wrong as well as right, then it’s not freedom. When the Law was given to the Israelites, it was just like any other law; it provided civil and social order. It served as means to direct cultural life and set apart those who kept it from the rest of the world. It kept the people distinct. But Jesus died to free us from that restriction. No longer does the person of faith need a set of rules to make him or her look and act different. A new conscience coupled with a new relationship is sufficient. Love is now to be the distinguishing factor. But somewhere along the line, the Church As We Know It has looked to morality as the badge of honor. If the Spirit is here now to help us determine right and wrong and how to judge between the two, why are we so quick to run to a set of guidelines, or six easy steps, or seven promises to govern our behavior? In most ChristianMan gatherings I’ve been in, the common answer to overcoming sexual temptation has often been behavioral. The way we were taught to avoid it was to be in an accountability group, memorize Romans 6, 7 and 8, avoid tempting situations and now a current one, unplug your computer. It may have temporarily adjusted the behavior, but did it really address the real question of the man’s heart? Freedom does not mean just avoiding certain actions. I believe it means those actions no longer hold any power. Is the alcoholic really free if he can’t be around alcohol? Is the guy addicted to porn walking in liberty if he needs to have someone check his history file? So why does the Church As We Know It give men behavioral answers and tell us we can’t really expect to be free? Morality is an important thing, but morality is not the starting point of the life of faith. Look at the first family of faith; Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. They were a bunch of liars, cheats, polygamists. Study their behavior sometime and try and explain their morality to your kids. What they did possess is faith, which is something the Son of Man is very interested in.

More Diverse II

The answer is to raise up more and more leaders, empowering them to shepherd the Church by giving them permission and trusting them to walk in the Spirit and be themselves. We don’t need to spend all our energy on getting people in one place. I heard a pastor once say at a building dedication service, “Isn’t it great to see everybody together under one roof.” I know how that’s good for the you and your church staff, but remind me how it benefits the guy in the chair? Unity in the Church of the Future is not likely going to exist if we continue with methods that call for sameness. Meeting at the SAME time, in the SAME place, listening to the SAME preaching, trying to get everyone to believe the SAME thing by signing the SAME document. At what point does this implode? This attempt for so-called unity is too small. Unity requires a bigger vision. The call for gathered unity is often justified by the use of the passage in Revelation 7. It is the picture of every tribe, nation and tongue surround the throne of God. Too many leaders try and reproduce this on earth by organizing it around singing the same songs and listening to the same talks. The reason it works in the text is because we will all be gathered around the one SAME thing that holds power over all of us, the transcendent God in all His glory, not a pulpit, speaker and worship band. I don’t know anymore how important getting everyone together for a night of worship in the name of unity. Maybe instead of getting people on the same page of the song, we get them on the same page regarding faith, hope and love.

More Diverse

The Church of the Future will be more diverse in its expression. A sense of unity was easier to achieve 25 years ago. The Church had a recognizable body of songs and hymns from which it sang. Preaching was presented in a familiar form. Certainly there were denominational differences, but if you were to ask any 10 random people on the street to define church, they would probably give consistent answers that include Sunday morning, a Building, some Singing, a guy Preaching. Unity is something I was, and still am, very interested in, except now I’m trying to look at it from a different vantage point. I’m not sure the Church of the Future will be as easily gathered together for a Worship Night or City-wide Unity rally, at least in this country. I was among the crowd that wanted to rate success by the number of people who would attend these outings. Needless to say, I got very frustrated. One reason is a language barrier. Not because more people are speaking Spanish or Chinese, but because there is a greater diversity of the language of the soul. I might not know your songs if I come to your deal. I may not know what to do with the guy with the Mohawk slapping paint on a canvas during the sermon. And I’m probably going to be weirded out by the call to mass meditation and getting in touch with my inner child with 250 other people I don’t know. These things might work for you, but please don’t ask me to do them with you, unless its in a setting that is conducive for it. The simplicity of our world has given way to complexity, speed and options. These can work in our favor, and to our detriment. My dad joked about the era when he and mom got married; they were too poor and didn’t own a clock, so they didn’t know what time it was. 50 years later, he said, they owned several clocks and still didn’t know what time it was. Like it or not, the future generation will not know what to do without options. And the problem with that is the Church As We Know It thinking that it needs to provide all those options. This is when the program reads like a menu: We’ve got Country Church, Headbangers Church, Coffee Church, Traditional Church, Ham and Cheese Church….. I don’t see this as an answer.

Smaller Contexts II

I believe another factor that is pushing the Church into a smaller form is cynicism. It is an example of how a negative can unveil a positive. A cynic is one who appears to not care about anything, but I deem it’s just the opposite. People who are cynical are simply wounded people. At the core of the cynic’s heart is a longing and passion that stings, so it gets anesthetized by sarcastic remarks and actions. One does not have to look far to find cynicism. And in some regards it makes sense to be cynical. What can one really believe in anymore? Where are politics taking us today? Any news outlet or talk show reveals evidence of further divisiveness and distrust of those is in control. What about business? The Enron Scandal is a case in point. There might be a million good companies out there, but it only takes one example like this to create a generation who thinks anything corporate is equivalent with evil. Even Bill Clinton’s escapade helped define for them what was sex and what wasn’t. This is where the Church As We Know It needs to be aware. That drive to build a bigger and better facility so we can get all the people under one roof might backfire someday. That new sanctuary may have been built on the money of the parents of the future generation, but will that next generation want to sustain all that brick and mortar? If the Church As We Know It continues to pattern itself after a business model, and its leaders continue to immerse themselves with marketing strategies and keep worrying about who moved their cheese, they will create a form for which a cynical generation will be suspect and not want to have any part of it. It will be in the smaller context that people will be able to see past marketing images and funky websites and find community, the one thing the heart of the cynic longs for. Sermon themes, rock and roll praise bands and pod casts are all fine aspects, but what percentage of our energy is going to be used to sustain those things? If that number out weighs the attention given to the smaller context, I think it might be a waste of time.

Smaller contexts.

I used to attend a church of around 600 people in attendance on Sundays. During a leadership transition period, there was a fairly sizable exodus from this church to another larger church in town. Many of these people I know personally. Not one of them describe their feelings for the new place with words like, “I love it!” Instead, I hear statements like, “The preaching is good,” or “We really like the children’s program.” Or worst of all, “Yea, my wife likes it OK.” One guy I know who made the switch told me one Sunday he saw a friend from the previous church during the break between services. In the sea of people that resembles a cattle drive, he said to him in a loud voice over the drone of noise, “Oh, you’re coming here now, too? Isn’t this great? To leave a place where you don’t know anybody and come to a bigger place where you don’t know anybody?” The new guy didn’t catch his sarcasm right away. When will men get the idea that they don’t have to settle for that? Sunday morning stress and anxiety of getting up, getting the kids ready, trying to hold it all together on the way there, working your way like a salmon through the stream of people to get to the right place. The original memo of Sunday being a day of rest is must have gotten placed in the round file. Since leaving that world, my Sundays are much simpler now, much more relaxed, much more oriented around my family. My wife and I reconnect, drink rich, dark coffee, read the paper, have some time with our kids to talk about spiritual things and learn Scripture together. It really is a day of rest for us. The day I used to dread leading up during the week is now my favorite, as I think was its original intent. The Church of the Future will be gathered in smaller contexts simply because men will realize they can. Once they get over the fear that they are sinning or doing something wrong, they will find that doing so will lead to a more fruitful, enjoyable experience. All I needed was permission but I looked for it in the wrong place for the longest time; to the Church As We Know It. Of course it wasn’t going to give it to me. But I found one Source of Permission, and once I discovered it, I see it was there all along.

What I see (or rather, hope) is on its way.

My next few posts will be my view from the point on the wall as I look out on the Church As We Know It. I’m no Tom Sine, so I can’t say with any authority that this is what the Church of the Future as a whole will look like, nor am I a George Barna, with facts and data to support my case. I’m just a watchman, peering into the night, looking for what is coming our direction and how to awaken others to be ready for it. So instead of a prediction, maybe this is more of what I hope the Church of the Future will be like, because it is the kind of church I want to try and help build. I believe The Church of the Future will be:

• Gathered in smaller contexts.
• More diverse.
• More free.
• Less polarizing.
• Led by ordinary people

Whether we like it or not, the morphing generation behind us is the one that will replace us, so will they push us out of the way and create on their own, or will we have anything to hand off to them as we pass on? Follow my thinking in the next few days, and offer any input, as it is always appreciated.

Moral dilemma #37

Had I known that toting fresh bread around town would make me a hero, I may have started selling bread when I was 15. I was not aware how bread invokes such deep responses in people. At the storefront today, a woman asked, since we had good bread and played Van Morrison CD’s, could she just move in and live here? I said there might be room for a cot in the corner. But on today’s delivery, how’s this for a moral dilemma. He was fortysomething, with classic male-patterned baldness, plus a little doughy. The frumpy sweats with street socks did not help the man’s appearance. What I’m trying to say is, he did not look like a Casanova. He approached me with a smile on his face as I placed my 25 baguettes into the store’s display basket at the end of the aisle. Leaning a little too far into my personal space, he whispered, “I used your bread to wine and dine a woman last night and it helped me score. Best damn four bucks I’ve ever spent.” And he walked away. Ah, the power of bread. What should one do with that revelation? Do I feel bad that the man used our bread to commit an act of fornication? Or do I use that story to sell more bread by proclaiming its aphrodisiacal powers? Do I stop selling bread because it led a man and woman to “sin?” The Apostle Paul did refer to food causing my brother to stumble. But if the man was not a person of faith, am I off the hook? This is the danger of any thing of beauty. It’s easier to follow a rule or do without it than to give folks a freedom to choose as they will. And it didn’t stop Jesus from turning water into wine (his first miracle.) I would guess he trusted the good folks at the wedding party wouldn’t get drunk on the wine Jesus created out of water. Why do I have a hard time believing that?

Come to Jesus and Give Up a Bunch of Stuff

I stopped in today at the Vegetarian Church as usual. In a small way, I feel I have achieved rock star status when I arrive. My job is probably like delivering flowers or driving a beer truck. Who’s not cheered up when you see one of those guys coming? Such is the case with me and my bread delivery. Folks swoon when they see the five grey trays on my hand truck, loaded with sourdough, ciabatta and baguettes only about 3 hours old. A few Kling-ons have taken to walking me out to the door, hoping for a freebie of day-old loaves. I gladly oblige. As I described before, I get a foreign feeling when I look around the store. I see signs and stickers in the storeroom there that I don’t have on my VW vanagon or cross-stitched on a pillow, like, “EatMoreKale.com” and “IF YOU'RE NOT OUTRAGED, YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION!!!!!!” I don’t have anything against kale or being outraged. It’s just not a part of my daily lifestyle. Vegetarians and Christians have something in common in that they seem to be noted by what they can’t or don’t do. Both are full of rules of behavior. I don’t eat meat vs. I don’t have premarital sex. I’m struck by how the limitations are the part that is most visible, instead of the benefits of living according to the perspective values and lifestyle. Is this to be expected when living according to a law? I’d become a vegetarian if someone proved that his life was filled with more joy and happiness than mine, by showing me the benefits of giving up bacon for tofurkey. Why would I want to give up a juicy burger once in a while, just so I could eat FauxBeef? Are the three weeks added to my life worth giving up the pleasures of dairy for drinking soy milk? I’m just not interested in putting limits around my life that I don’t understand or even have a value for. I believe this is the state of the Church As We Know It. For a season the Gospel has been equated with forgiveness and morality. This is where I met the Good News twenty some years ago. I was told I needed to be forgiven and that God expected me to step in line and change my behavior, so like a vegetarian who can’t eat meat anymore, I was a Christian who could no longer listen to certain kinds of music. His FauxBeef was my FauxMusic. Is there a difference? This is where the Church of the Future has got to be characterized by more than limitations. The Gospel is not a call to morality, so it cannot be explained in those terms. It is an invitation to a life of faith. It is a call to Life itself, and when one is truly alive, he is only limited in ways that threaten that source of Life. This is why the joy of the Lord is our strength. And if it doesn’t bring me joy, I don’t want any part of it.

To My Woman in the Red Dress

Happy Valentine's Day to my Woman in the Red Dress. The best is yet to come.

Sleeping In

Since I get up at 4:30am every morning six days a week, it’s a bit hard to sleep in on the seventh. For me, sleeping in is the equivalent of 5am, instead of the noon of college days. I really am getting old. Soon I’ll be eating dinner at four and breakfast the night before. So I’m awake today at five, but not to worry, since the rest of the family won’t be up for another three hours or so. I thought I would take time to listen to the mix that Jack of All Trades made for me. His instructions were to listen to it in one setting, and so that is what I did. Here is what occurred: I put the disc in my laptop to listen while I did my usual web and blog surfing. As each song unfolded, I realized the theme of each selection was of freedom and hope. I was struck by how far I have come in my journey, and how much I feel I have changed since leaving the Ministry As We Know It. As I listened and surfed, I hit a link that led me to the Passion ’07 website. Having been involved at the start of that movement ten years ago, I was curious to see what had changed. After a quick browse, I concluded the biggest change was me. What drew me to the Passion Movement was its desire to see a spiritual awakening occur among college students of the world. As a watchman, I’m convinced that hope awaits us. I’m just not convinced in what form it will come. I do believe since we are in a post-modern age, that whatever occurs will look extremely different than awakenings of the past that arose in modern and pre-modern times. But as the music in my ears lay juxtaposed against the images on the website, I felt an enormous wave of grief. I felt extremely alone. The photo gallery showing the faces of students, the thousands gathered in worship, I remembered the feeling from ten years ago. I felt so connected then, so alive. I thought I had found the tracks of the coming Great Awakening. But today I find myself going down a different path. I don’t experience God in those large corporate gatherings as I once did. Part of me wishes I still did. Part of me wants those old days again. Part of me wonders what I’ve done wrong, considering the cliché, If God feels far off, guess who moved? must be correct. The other part of me believes I’m where I should be. The Passion Movement was an important time in my life and I believe it will continue to be so for many others. But I’ve got a Warrior and a Man of God with me on the journey, and that’s most important right now and I look forward to what we will find in Uncharted Waters.

Trying to Gently Open a Can of Worms

Here’s a question for which I’ve never really found a good answer. Another good thing about not being a professional pastor anymore is the freedom to ask such questions and not feel like I might lose my job if I opened my mouth. When Jesus was nearing the end of his days on earth, he was readying his disciples for his departure. He obviously knew more about what was coming than they did, which is why he said he had more to say, but they could not bear it. In John 16, as he hints of his leaving, he assures them that they will not be alone, that another termed the Counselor will come to take his place. This Counselor will help them determine right from wrong, and how to judge between the two. He assures them they will be better off when this happens. My curiosity wonders, “Why didn’t he say I will send you a Bible?” But today, in my tradition, the sermons I’ve heard about the Bible, the admonitions to read, study, memorize and defend the Bible, far outweigh the ones on the Counselor. In some ways it feels like I have replaced Jesus’ word for Counselor with a modern one named Bible. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve missed something here. I don’t find many who meet me here in the middle ground of this question. There is the one side, who upon hearing the question, scream “heretic” and hand me a 32 disc series of suppository preaching from John MacArthur, while the other side would not engage the conversation either and say its just a bunch of bullshit anyway. I don’t plan on throwing out my Bible any time soon, for it is the Bible that is leading me to these questions, which endears me to it even more. But this way of thinking about it won’t do for those in authority in my tradition. The Bible is Answer. It is Science and Hard Fact. It is Evidence That Demands a Verdict. In this way, it is also modern. And as the leader of the Church of the Future, one must be aware of this partiality. Failure to do so indicates that the church will continue to reach only modern minds, of which there are fewer and fewer. I’m beginning to consider the Bible like good art. Great art never seeks to satisfy, but only to point to a larger story, often that story is what lies deep within. It’s why artists are usually on the fringes, frequently misunderstood. They are doing their job. I’ve never met an artist who wants to hang his work on the wall; hoping people will just glance at it, and walk away.