Wednesday, October 04, 2006
My Christian Porn
I have a confession to make. This morning I was listening to Christian radio again. I know I shouldn't. It doesn't help me. I don't really know why I do it. Its just a form of porn for me, I guess. I have some sick need in me to feel right, so I seek out ways to disagree so I can feel better about myself.
But I was really disturbed in what I heard today. It's probably why I felt compelled to keep listening, when I knew I should tune the truck radio back to sports talk radio. It was the man's anger. I mean, he was livid. He went on and on about how pastors are failing the church and society because they don't manage their household. He continued by saying that the majority of pastors should leave the ministry because of their children, adding that the term "PK" has come to be equated with unruly kids. He made it clear that in no uncertain terms that this is a sin and an abomination.
I'm a dad of two kids. I love them dearly and I do my best to let them know daily that they are loved and that life does not revolve around them. I realize that they, in spite of all my love and affection, have choices to make. With my son, when he would disobey or disrespect his mom, I would explode in anger.
It never really worked with him.
The angrier I got, the more distant he became and the more he rebelled. I blamed it all on his choices and lack of respect. It didn't dawn on my that my attempts to intimidate him into obedience were not going to work. He was too strong. I needed a new approach.
I worry about the teaching of angry guys like this one on the radio today. Sure, they may have their "household in order." But maybe in reality the kids are just scared to death of dad. Obedience, yes, but at what price. Some would say that doesn't matter. I think it does. It is God's kindness that leads us to repentance. His anger is justified, but its not what does the trick in getting us to move back to him.
What was equally disturbing were the radio hosts, who commented after the tirade, "Boy that guy can preach. He went from preachin' to meddlin'." Maybe that's what they call it. They went on to make a generous offer of sending the CD of this message to your pastor if you send in a love gift. I wondered if I should pray for the pastors who would get the tape, that it would not become an ever greater chain on their burden of trying to raise their kids.
It left me sad, not inspired to change.
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4 comments:
Hmmm, I'm not sure how exactly to respond, but I will say that although you say you are uninspired to change, you have identified (and i know not just today) the anger with which you deal when confronting your own son's disobedience. I know with my oldest son I have all too often exploded in anger and I see its effects. It scares me. I hear my voice in his when he yells at his little brother and sister not to do things. I see the nervousness in him when I approach to discipline. That saddens me more than what you are describing on the radio, because my sinful heart is the cause. Praise God for His grace and mercy. And, now that I have recognized my sin I pray daily that God will help both of us break that cycle and legacy that was handed down to me when I was a young child. I pray the same for you.
bryan
what i meant by uninspired to change was in reference to the style of "preaching" this guy was delivering. this kind of anger is what i was raised with from the pulpit. sunday after sunday i was exposed to men indignant over what they would call sin, when in reality they harbor the same condition in their hearts. its like the mark foley incident in the US Congress. he was outspoken against internet preditors, when he himself was one.
inspiring change is a big issue for me, in part because i dont see a lot of change going on around me or in me. if the Gospel is powerful, why does it seem from my vantage point to not be doing as much as i hope it would? one possible solution could lay in the hearts of leaders who are unable to see and repent of the very things they hold in contempt in their congregations.
hope this adds clarity to the post.
bryan
one more thought. as an alumni, my wife got a publication in the mail this week from the school she attended. on the cover was a very theatrical image of what was dubbed "the evangelist." i was struck by the huge disconnect here between what i perceive the image as, and what the editors of the magazine were thinking. in their minds, the image conjured up all that is good about being an evangelist. it did just the opposite for me. i saw the image as negative due to my early experiences. the image reinforced what i was presented with as evangelism: angry, often overweight men, who tried to threaten and intimidate their audience.
i dont do well when someone gets angry with me, even if i am in the wrong. maybe its just me, but the kind of preaching i heard on the radio that day made me confused. i don't understand how people can subject themselves to that kind of authority. i have to recall that culture plays a part in it, and that southern culture is very different than the northern midwest where i live.
i hear you. i just meant that you were inspired... to be the opposite. to be loving. to refrain of behaving as they do. And, that is good. Even what Satan means for evil, God means for good. And, although the anger and lack of love displayed by one who was claiming to be coming in the Spirit of the One who is Love is a horrible thing, you were able to turn it into something good in your life through the leading of the Holy Spirit in you. At least, that is what I hope happens with me and what happens for you most of the time. I wish it were true all of the time, but I all too often make myself god, rather than Him and then miss His word for me.
does that make sense?
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