Saying Goodbye to Yesterday

Knuki brings up a good point. Why do I feel like I need validation from someone to allow me to be myself? Why can't I just be OK with who I am? Most of you probably don't have a problem with this, but I care too much about what other people think. Here's more of my story. Jack of All Trades predicted about 3 years ago that I would feel like a very different person once I left the vocational ministry culture. He said there were limitations we accepted because the world we lived and worked in was very small. He could not have been more accurate. Most of the dreams I had for myself fell within the confines of ministry. I wanted to be a noted song writer or musician, but within the Church As We Know It. I wanted to lead, but only in that same realm. Writing, speaking, and teaching are all interests of mine, but I only saw myself exercising these to a limited audience, again, the Church As We Know It. But I got something via email this week that has helped me take knuki's advice. I saw an invitation to a weekend conference, and some alums of my collegiate ministry were invited. I looked through the list of titles for the messages and seminars and was stunned. They were the exact same titles we heard as college students 25 years ago. Yet another round of Quiet Time, Scripture Memory and Spiritual Journaling. And we wonder why men leave their wives. You see, the reason this email was such a downer was, I guess, I had in my mind that I would always stay connected to my past in some way, and that I would bring it with me wherever I went in the future. I never realized that to move forward in ministry, I may have to burn a few bridges along the way and leave some folks behind on the other side, especially those I once considered my leaders. New directions require new faith, and if we are going to lead the Church As We Know It into Terra Incognito, we’ve got to know that many will never understand us. I don’t like the thought of leaving my leaders behind, but when you awake to the fact that they are no longer leading you anywhere, its time to make a choice. Will I stay or go? Will I live in fear of offending, of being misunderstood just so I can fit in and be asked back to speak to the same old audience? I don’t think so.