A Watchman's View from the Wall

The Sword of Greed or the Sword of Generosity

2011-11-16T09:54:00.000-08:00

An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth.

It’s an understandable reaction to being wronged, but sometimes the best answer doesn’t make logical sense.

Jesus said if you live by the sword, you die by it as well. Whatever rules we choose to engage in, we must be willing to have those same rules enacted upon us. If I live a critical, negative and judgmental life, I should not be surprised when you treat me in the same manner.

As I mentioned in my last post, the emotion that many of us are feeling towards the spirit of Greed we see in our country today is acute. It angers us to see it, and rightly so, but we must be fully aware of the sword it is causing us to wield.

Folks complain that Wall Street executives make zillions in bonuses while their employees suffer and their companies go under. The corporate big-wigs giving no concern for those who work for them; I’m not sure how that works in their mind. As a business owner, I look at this and scratch my head. I would never want to treat people that way. But if I lost my job at a company where the CEO got a huge Christmas bonus and I got a pink slip, how would that make me feel? Yea, I’d be pissed too.

But where should I direct that outrage? How effective would it be for me to protest in front of the CEO’s house? It might make me feel vindicated to give him the finger and a piece of my mind, but what impact would it have on the Spirit of Greed?

If I live by the sword of anger, I must be willing to die by that sword. What do I have in the end when I exchange Anger for Anger? Everybody ends up angry.

I am a fan of Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Tipping Point, in which he addresses how movements begin. They often can be traced back to simple, small beginnings. A trend starts because a few kids start wearing a particular shoe, that then gets noticed by a photographer, that gets noticed by a fashion designer, that gets noticed by a buyer, that ends up in stores all across the country and on the feet of hundreds of thousands of people. This is the nutshell version.

What if a Spirit of Generosity reached a tipping point?

It bothers me that in the majority of the noise I hear on the news, you can feel the anger. This goes for the Left and the Right. Everyone is angry and mad as hell. Is that sword really going to make anyone change their tune?

I memorized this bible verse years ago, which says, by what a man is overcome, by this is he enslaved. The explanation given to me was in a negative light, that if you are overcome by alcohol, then you are enslaved to alcohol, if you are overcome by Greed, then you are a slave to possession. I affirm that this would be a true conclusion, but could it work in the converse? Just as a person can be overcome by Evil, can a person be overcome by Good? I see a lot of people overcome by anger and rage at the Greed that pervades our culture, but what would happen if a movement of people was overcome by Generosity?

Solutions to Undefined Problems

2011-11-11T09:59:00.000-08:00

I say it often, and that is, I am fascinated by behavior I don’t understand, which is part reason why I don’t think I ever made a very good evangelical. I found myself more interested in knowing why you believe what you believe than in me trying to explain to you the Good News. Even though I was trained and capable of sharing the 4 Spiritual Laws in my sleep, I was never quite comfortable with the approach. I always found myself asking more questions than giving answers.

While I do hold to my opinions, I’m not one to feel the need to argue a point. Political news shows that get pundits riled up and shouting at each other lead me to switch channels to something a little mellower. Contention creates drama, which some people seem to thrive upon, but it wears me out and makes me want to change the subject.

Our current political discourse is rife with this kind of quarrelling, which is both repulsive and alluring. I’m turned off by the polarization, but I am drawn in like a mouse to the cheese because there is so much belief and behavior I don’t understand. And I want to know why.

Take the Tea Party/Occupy Wall Street extremes. Some would say these are, in essence, the same reaction to the same economic concerns, with the main difference being one is far right and the other is far left. I’m not sure it’s that clear cut, but for purposes of laying out my thought process, let’s use it as a starting point.

The Political Right becomes upset with the status quo. It rallies together, organizes itself into what is known as the Tea Party. It creates a fairly understandable message; smaller government, lower debt, lower taxes, and campaigns on this platform, and eventually made a difference in last year’s midterm election. As I see it, the source of their anger was quantifiable and practically addressed. Cutting government spending and lowering taxes, whether you agree with it or not, is something that can be easily understood and enacted upon.

On the other hand, The Political Left, also becomes upset with the status quo. It rallies together, organizes itself into what is known as the Occupy Wall Street Movement. Yet its message is not quite so clearly articulated. It lacks order and identifiable spokespersons. It is seen by the general public as chaotic and immature. Described as a movement of hippies, Marxists, anarchist, and losers, the effort lacks cohesion and clarity, and therefore dismissed by those who are unsympathetic.

But to the thoughtful I would offer an appeal to not write the movement off carte blanche. You may disagree with the solutions being offered and miss the root cause of the provocation in the first place.

The first step in any kind of problem solving process is to first identify the problem. It sounds simple enough, but it fails to get done in many cases. Leadership must ask, “What is the problem we need to address?” and assist everyone involved to at least agree on what the answer to that question is. But too often we leap over this initial first step into providing our own answers to how we think the problem should be handled and heave blasting critiques to the solutions offered by those with whom we disagree.

In casual conversations with people, I like to ask those with opposing views if they know what problem the Tea Party is trying to address. I’m amazed at some of the first things out of the mouth are not defined problems, but characterizations of what they think of the movement; bigots, racists, homophobes, etc. When I do the same for the other side, and ask for opinions of what the Occupy Wall Street Movement stands for, I get the same kinds of replies; losers, lazy, socialists, freaks.

No problem identified yet.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and try to oversimplify the two movements from my vantage point. As I see it, the Right is trying to address a practical problem, while the Left is feeling the brunt of a spiritual matter.

Our country has a debt crisis. I would hope that is obvious to see. Our government spends more than it takes in. This is not a hard concept to understand. It’s the essence of sustainability. Produce more than you consume, and you can count on a sustained future. If we all agree on this, then we can get to work on a solution. Whether you think there should be more tax cuts, tax hikes, taxing the rich, cut this, cut that, spend more, spend less; these are solutions, however differing they may be. But before we tear each other apart for our solutions, have we agreed upon a common problem?

But our country is also in a spiritual crisis, and this one is a whole lot harder to pin down and address. By spiritual I don’t imply religious, but I would like to believe than an atheist, agnostic and religious person can all agree that Greed is a problem. Greed has wrecked havoc on our financial system, and not just within our borders, but around the globe as well. Greed is a longstanding human transgression, branded as one of the seven deadly sins. It has been with us since the beginning of time, and it’s not planning to go away anytime soon.

When I say spiritual, I mean just that. Greed is a spirit, much like the wind, you don’t see it, but you recognize its presence and acknowledge its consequences. And like telling the wind which way to blow, it’s my view that similarly, Greed that is immune to legislation. Sure, we can put regulations in place, stack on more and more layers of oversight and control, but Greed will still find a way around the system, and will forever take advantage of those who get in its way. Regulation is a solution, but the problem of Greed will still exist.

When I check in on the Occupy Protesters, I listen for their yearnings, not their demands. Yearning is provoked by the Problem; demands are only a response to the Problem. And if the problem is spiritual, it only makes sense to me that the reaction to it would be equally hard to pin down and quantify. Anger and outrage are understandable. They, too, are spiritual reactions.

I remember reading the parenting books when my kids were toddlers. The consensus among them was never discipline or act out in anger. The emotion may be justified as an initial response to behavior, but unchecked anger will only be interpreted as combative, not constructive. An eye for an eye leaves two people blind.

Greed is a problem and should make us angry, but it needs to lead to a constructive solution. Spiritual matters require spiritual solutions, and there is no better solution than an inspiring one versus a condemning one. Greed can be countered by its antithesis, Generosity. Can you imagine what it would look like if our nation adopted a spirit of bounty in response?

Every great awakening starts somewhere…

All that glitters is not gold

2011-06-19T08:57:00.001-07:00

Those who are not have a hard time understanding those of us who are, we introverts, who have an odd sort of need for time alone. The extroverts have interpretations of this requirement of anything from being unfriendly to Ted Kaczynski-like strange. But if you are one, you have an innate knowledge of what I am talking about. You may not be able to explain it, but just as effective as aspirin to a headache, so is solitude to your internal soul.

On Father's Day this morning, I began a little hashtag on Twitter (#rememberingdad) of little sayings I recall hearing from my Dad over the years. Like the time I had a flat and was so flustered by it that he simply replied, "don't cuss the one that went down; be glad the other four didn't."

"The other four? I asked. "What do you mean?"

"You've got a spare don't you? Three plus one equals four."

And thus was his simplicity of reason and his thoughtful approach to life that I saw over and over again. To this day, one of the most profound sayings he would share with me when something didn't seem quite right, like finding a bargain too good to be true, or a sales pitch offering something for nothing.

"All that glitters is not gold; All that titters is not tit."

Here again reminding me that not everything is as it seems.

But this can work in the converse, also. Some situations are much better than they appear to the naked eye. The old proverb states that there is a man who appears to be poor, yet has great wealth. Treasure is hidden, and many times left that way. It's much easier to safeguard by keeping it quiet.

Now, nearly six years after my dad's passing, I realize he was a man of great wealth, a keeper of a deep reservoir of thought, insight and knowledge, that very few people got access to. I remember him spending hours alone, on the tractor tending to our 26 acres of woods and pasture grass, or in his hand-built workshop, fixing, welding or maybe just simply enjoying the reward that the privacy proffered. I never really thought of it at the time. I was busy in my own mind to even notice or inquire. But if I had the opportunity today, I'd begin with my list of questions for him that grows longer with each continual year without him.

The more complicated my life becomes, the more I yearn for a tractor to ride, a pasture to mow, or a rose garden to tend. These were among Dad's diversions in which he found great pleasure, and which gave his mind the space it needed to explore his thoughts, much like a spelunker moving into a passage only large enough for one person to pass. It's not that you don't like people; it's just that there are some internal places too tiny for inclusion and need to be sussed out alone.

While I wish my Dad was still alive, to be able to call him today, hear his voice, and to feel his pride, I am still able to enjoy another bit of wisdom he left behind. "Don't be sad for what you don't have; be thankful for what you missed out on." Dad isn't with us any longer, but I missed out not having a father of which I was not proud.

Thank you, Dad. May I carry your legacy well.

Of music and woodsmoke

2011-04-24T09:38:00.001-07:00

Today is my annual day to sort through my guilt for not attending a gathering of The Church As We Know It, even though I haven't participated in years. I would lie if I said I didn't ponder it, or that I am indifferent to it, even though I have been exiled for quite some time.

I think part of the residue I still carry is that my faith was public for about half of my life. I made my living because of my faith. There were expectations put on me to set an example that was culturally agreed upon by the evangelical community of which I was a part. When someone else pays your salary, you have an obligation to follow their rules. I see nothing wrong with that. The predicament arises when you can no longer balance your questions with the expectations.

When I finally came to the point of assuming sole responsibility and accountability for my faith, I decided I could start doing away with some of the excess baggage and loosen my load. Since I would be sailing uncharted waters and exploring terra incognito, it seemed a good idea to travel light. Attending The Church As We Know It was one of the parcels that got left on the dock.

So here I sit alone, Easter Sunday, watching the smoker billow its gray breath of apple wood fumes. My wife and daughter off to their respective houses of worship as I stay home and listen to the soundtrack to The Last Temptation of Christ, something I have done every year for the last ten or so years. Between the ancient sound of the music and the primal sensation of the fire, I have enough to keep my mind occupied with these two simple, natural promptings. My soul is full. There is not room for much more right now.

I know all across my city, and all across this land, there are major productions of worship being staged for the benefit and blessing of millions. I hesitate to dub it with a negative description, because many will find their way closer to God via these means, for which I am glad. It's just that, for me, when the stage that gets set, literally, with trusses of lights, cameras, video screens, sound reinforcement, and choreography, all put in place by an army of workers and volunteers for a moment in time on Sunday morning, my circuit breakers trip as quickly as running four hair dryers out of one outlet. That which I once participated and even promoted, now feels so foreign, so far away, from the point on my current horizon.

As with most of my writing, I am authoring these words for my own benefit. I am reminding myself of the reason I embarked on this journey in the first place. The unexplored seas can bring isolation, but also great exhilaration. The solitude of my new direction fosters a profundity of new stimulation for the sake of my faith. I never knew what I had until I stripped away the veneer that covered the true foundation.

He is risen, and He has risen in me, indeed.

Happy Easter

PS. Fitting to finish on track 15, it captures the passion for which the song is aptly titled.

Come On, Man...

2010-11-24T05:35:00.000-08:00

It’s that time of year where you might hear a pastoral chiding along these lines:

How can people stand for three hours in a stadium out in the freezing cold and scream their lungs over a sports team but not have the energy to worship God for thirty minutes without growing bored…?

The comparison of worship at church with going to a football game is a likely one, especially if you are a professional pastor. Who doesn’t wish for the same kind of enthusiasm that sports elicits? But if we’re going to go there, why not take it all the way out to the edge?

Current Pastor, if you want the screaming, raving fan reaction, why not start by selling or at least serving beer at your church. Trade the Starbucks French Roast pump pot with a keg of anything cold. Football fan doesn’t need anything good; just potent. Don’t be afraid of charging a premium price for the stuff. Consider it a means of funding bible school this year.

Allow for all kinds of language and behavior. Don’t get too upset over fist fights or swearing. These are all a part of the stadium experience. Tell your janitor to wait to mop the pee off the floor of the toilets until after the worship service. It will only get worse as time goes on. And if women choose to not want to wait in the long lines for the ladies room and end up in the men’s room, turn a blind eye; it’s not that big of deal. It happens all the time at big events where there is fanatical crowd behavior that you want to have in church.

Before we shame people for not giving us the reaction we desire, let’s remember one important aspect about God:

He’s not that obvious.

Remember it was Elijah who looked for God in the Wind, the Earthquake and the Fire, but came up empty all three times. It was the Whisper that put him on his knees.

Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose

2010-11-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

Just finished up Drive by Daniel Pink and am trying to synthesize his thoughts into a concise package for future use. This is why I could probably never write a book; I don’t do filler very well. I try and cut to the chase and make sure my point is understandable in about a page or so and then trust that you might find it as interesting as I did.

The application of my reading usually falls in the direction of leadership and how it can make me a better leader. Whether as a professional pastor as I was for so many years, or now as a small businessman, leadership is indispensable if an organization or effort is going to effective for the long term. The Tea Party Movement may have its day at the polls today, but eventually it will need a head that can direct the rest of the parts in a coherent fashion. If everyone is in charge, no one is in charge.

But the way in which we lead is the operative story here. HOW will we move people from point A to point B? What method of motivation will be employed to accomplish the mission and achieve the objective? Will it be inspiration or intimidation, coercion or cooperation? And do I know myself well enough to recognize my default tendency?

Pink’s first point about motivation is that people need a sense of autonomy in their work. This is not to be confused with independence, or a go-it-alone, every man for himself mentality. Instead it is the ability to act with choice, to feel the freedom to set a direction, make a decision, or design a plan without fear that if it fails, I won’t be put to shame. Rather, I will be trusted as a part of the team or community that affirms I am capable to do the job.

I have to admit that I never felt this kind of belief growing up in The Church As We Know It. The fundamental paradigm I experienced was built on distrust, that I did not possess the ability to make the right call when it comes to matters of spiritual belief and formation. Consequently I was told I needed to be in attendance at meetings. To use Pink’s words, I knew very little autonomy.

I believe autonomy is not extended because it appears more difficult to manage, both in the Marketplace and The Church As We Know It. I recall a saying used to defend this mentality; “Don’t be so open minded that your brains fall out.” The implication is that I would no doubt make the wrong decision if I was afforded too much freedom.

To be fair, young faith might need these kinds of tight parameters as it develops. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child. But when I became a man, I did away with childish things, included in that is a lack of autonomy. I wonder if those who are disillusioned with the Church As We Know It are so because they feel they are still being treated as a child.

An espresso for me and these gentlemen...

2010-10-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

Current Pastor, if you have not read anything by Daniel Pink, I suggest you put him on the top of your list. He has something to say that I believe is prophetic. If the Men of Issachar were alive today, I would bet they would have had coffee with Pink by now.

What does it mean to be prophetic? Is it some kind of psychic, fortune telling, future predicting ability that the odd men possessed in the Old Testament? I guess we could get lost in a discussion six ways to Sunday on that, but the point I want to address is how do we pay attention to the clues in front of us in order to make adjustments for tomorrow?

According to the Gallup Strength Finder, I have Futurist in my core set of five strengths. The consultant explained to me that there might be one in a group of fifty that possess this, and that’s because you don’t really need very many of them if they are exercising it fully.

As a Futurist, I realize I don’t need a whole lot of other futurists around me. A few, maybe, but like the ancient night watchman patrolling out on the city wall, watching through the night for anything of danger that might approach and attack his city, everyone inside the wall didn’t need to be awake at three in the morning while the watchman was out on patrol. If the watchman was doing his job, everyone else could sleep soundly, knowing that if in the event that watchman saw anything of concern, he’d sound the alarm at the appropriate time and the city would stand at attention, ready to respond to the oncoming movement.

Pink has noticed something on his watch, and it is causing me to take a further look.

I have been consuming two of his books in the past month, A Whole New Mind and Drive, and believe he has something to say to the Church as We Know It and to the pastors of the Church of the Future. My next few posts will outline in brief the importance of what he is saying, and what we as pastors might need to consider.

There have been plenty of books written about why people, especially men, are leaving the Church As We Know It. George Barna’s statistic-heavy Revolution and David Murrow’s Why Men Hate Going to Church are interesting reads, but neither gets as close to the core of what I believe is happening before our eyes, and Pink is articulating it about as clear as anyone right now about our culture and how it is shifting toward a new understanding of motivation.

Insight is always helpful, and wisdom is to be desired above gold, but without the ability to translate it into action, it becomes a dead study. The watchman can tend to his guard, but if no one hears and responds to the signal, the watchman’s effort is in vain.

Angry Politics

2010-10-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

Since I’ve not been a part of the Church as We Know It for several years, I find that not being exposed to such an excessive amount of teaching about the bible on a near daily basis has actually helped me be more in tune with matters that I believe are really important and worthy of transformational consideration. I used to think that “more is better” when it came to Bible knowledge and exposure to Bible teaching. But instead what I think it led me to experience was excessive consumption, and hence I became fat on the Bread of Life. I never met anyone who actually believed you could actually spend too much time reading the Bible, but I now suppose that even such a practice can have a detrimental effect if expressed improperly.

I would never say reading the Bible is wrong, or that one should never study or memorize it. The practice of preaching is a good one, and I have a handful of memorable messages that have altered my thinking for the better. I just think it’s simpler than we have made it out to be.

For example, I have been camped out at the gates of the Sermon on the Mount for quite some time now, and specifically, at the first point in the sermon after the introduction of the Beatitudes. And since we don’t have a whole lot of Jesus’ sayings written down, it interests me to pay close attention to the very first formal message. I don’t take Jesus as one who minced words, nor wasted them. I believe he said things for a reason, and I want follow up and ask “why did he say that?”

Why did he make his first point about anger?

Your Bible notes might title the heading Murder, but I really don’t think that he’s talking about Thou Shalt Not Kill in the literal sense of pulling out a gun and blowing someone’s head off. Back up a little further as ask yourself what leads a person to pull the trigger? Is there any other answer than anger?

We don’t kill out of sadness, or poverty, or even pride. Bottom line is this: we kill because we are angry, and we are angry because we cannot have what we want.

This explains in my mind the state of politics today.

I will admit my conservative bent when it comes to matters of fiscal responsibility, limited government, belief in free markets, blah, blah, blah. But I find very few who I feel speak for me in the way I would like to be represented. It seems every voice out there is angry, regardless if you lean left or right. What the hell? What are we so pissed off about?

Next time you listen to a pundit, watch for their anger, especially if it is someone who defends your point of view. Bill Maher or Mark Levin, Keith Olbermann or Laura Ingram. I have a hard time listening to any of them. They are all far too angry.

I don’t think we will get anywhere in this country until we figure out what Jesus was teaching about anger. Anger is neither left or right, liberal or conservative. Both sides are plagued by it. Neither are justified in it.

With one point of his sermon, I’ve had enough to think about for a while.

How shall they hear...?

2010-07-22T05:12:00.000-07:00

Your family always warned you not to mix politics and religion, not because they are incompatible, but because most people can’t separate the two and maintain any level of civility. They may seem like two different subjects, but they still possess some of the same baggage, carried in each arm by those who are convinced they own the truth.

I was never a good evangelist in my days as a professional minister. As a card-carrying Evangelical, I was raised with a mandate to tell the Good News to all I meet. I’ve been out of that scene for several years now, but those compulsive feelings quickly return when I watch or listen to politics on TV and radio.

What I feel about politics must be what folks felt about my attempts to communicate about my religion. Judgmental, condescending, conniving, insecure; these words come immediately to mind, because that’s mostly what I hear in today’s political debate.

I’ve grown and matured over the years since discovering faith nearly thirty years ago. I have tossed a good deal of flotsam and jetsam overboard. But I’ve kept some things locked up down in the hull of the boat that I don’t plan to jettison any time soon.

I still believe there is Good News. I still believe that Good News is to be told. It’s the ways and means of telling that Story that I’ve discarded.

I’m not even sure I could articulate how that should happen. I was always trained to “give a reason for the hope you have,” which generally justified the use of the mustard colored booklet or napkin drawing. But how does one reduce the Story of Stories down to a three minute drive-by version. The Lord of the Rings couldn’t do it in three separate films. It still left out parts that were essential to the story.

And on the heels of this admission, I recall one past scolding voice vividly, “I take my method of sharing it over your method of not.”

If I told you my method takes fifty years to tell, is that good enough for you?

With the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, but we have taken time and put a fuel injector on it, seeking to turbocharge every moment of every day, “because the days are evil.”

But what if my life is about one opportunity; one long, seventy year opportunity (if the Lord wills)? Is that a copout?

Do you have something in my size?

2010-04-28T04:03:00.000-07:00

The longer my dad has been gone, the more I miss him and wish for his words and wit to be given from his voice rather than from my memory. But he did give me much to remember, and this story is one of them. My dad’s father was not a kind man, given to anger, probably due in part to the difficulty of his life experiences. He lost everything in the depression, had to move his family west to find work, and eventually stopped in Gila Bend, AZ finding a job as a mechanic. They lived there a few years until they had enough to make it back to Oklahoma. Dad told me one time that he didn’t have shoes that fit for much of his childhood years, because when his dad would take him to the shoe store, he would take the first pair that was brought to him by the clerk. He told me he did so out of fear of his father’s wrath, and that if he said they were too tight or too big, he would be accused of complaining and ungrateful. So instead of leaving the store with nothing, at least he had a pair on his feet, whether they fit or not. The departure from The Church As We Know It is a little like this story. For many of us, we felt we had no other option. The form and function of the present model was all that was available, and according to certain voices in our lives, all there needed to be. If we registered a contrarian view, we were rebuked, corrected, or assumed we were destined for spiritual oblivion. So, like my dad, we learned to keep quiet and just accept what was handed to us as adequate. But as we got older, we learned this was not the case. Our complaint was not born out of ingratitude, but only from a realization that it simply did not fit. Staying in the form of The Church As We Know It made as much sense as walking around in 8D loafers when a 9 ½E looked more like my foot. We can now buy our own shoes. The contrast is a crude one, as it can certainly raise more questions about the movement than provide answers. To any detractors, it would not be a stretch to assume from this story that the guiding force of my life is comfort and doing whatever feels good. But think of it from the point of view of a little boy, living in fear of his dad. There is a generation who is discovering they no longer have to be afraid of the one they call Father.

This Might Sting a Bit

2010-04-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

If you give me a choice between getting my teeth worked on, or engaging in a political discussion, I’m going to opt for the drilling, grinding and Novacaine every time.

I finally figured out why I dislike politics so much, and it has to do with the same things I dislike about religion. Both seem hell bent on converting the opposition, but neither side seems very interested in listening to anyone else. I’m left feeling a little angry, and a whole lot confused, wondering, “Is this the way it’s supposed to be, or is it just the inevitable result of the human condition?”

Last year, I read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair, at the behest of an employee. Labeled by many as socialist propaganda, the story looks at the horrendous working conditions in the Chicago meatpacking industry at the turn of the 20^th century. Sinclair tells the story of mistreatment and misfortune of immigrant workers by the business owners, and leads you to his conclusion that the only logical answer for such injustice is to turn to socialism.

But Sinclair does what every other politician or pastor does when speaking about the point of view he is defending. He compares the strengths of his doctrine against the weaknesses of his opposition. Socialism, he says, is built on fairness and equality for all people, while Capitalism is driven by greed and avarice of the rich and few. Ironically, even in his own argument, he is in violation the very thing he espouses. He is not being fair to his opponent.

If you want to convince me of your point of view, don’t tear mine down. Instead, try to build a case by first understanding what I think and believe, and then compare strength to strength. Compare apples to apples, not apples to microwaves.

If Sinclair was truly fair, he would look at the strength of his foe, Capitalism, versus the strength of his Socialism. If Socialist doctrine is build on fairness, then to be fair, one must ask what is the equivalent positive trait of Capitalism. Granted, it may be hard to fathom, but it is a system of opportunity, rewarding hard work and determination.

On the converse, continuing to be fair, Sinclair would then compare weakness to weakness. He must admit that his Socialism has a dark side, just as he indicted Capitalism with a verdict of greed. Indeed, making money can lead to greed, but it can also provoke jealousy and envy in those who despise it.

My point is this: Take time to listen and understand those who hold an opposing view to yours. Be secure enough in your own belief to not react defensively, but see if you can clearly articulate back to your rival what it is he believes. Compare strength to strength and weakness with weakness, and don’t confuse the two. See if this leads anywhere.

What have you got to lose? It can’t possibly make things any worse.

Seeking a Simple Solution

2010-03-29T21:47:00.001-07:00

Cowboys & Indians

Cops & Robbers

Saints & Sinners

Democrats & Republicans

We like categories. They simplify our choices and help us delineate good from bad. It’s easy to have clear cut lines that distinguish between right and wrong. Much like Ryan Bingham in the film Up In The Air, speaking of his experience getting through airport security quickly. “It’s not racist, I just stereotype. It makes things go faster.”

Categorizing our beliefs would be helpful in bringing clarity if the belief only had two sides. You believe in God, or you don’t. You want healthcare reform, or you don’t. You support gay marriage, or you don’t. The Bible is true, or its not. But I doubt that there are very few issues you and I would come down on either side, with a stark black and white line dividing us.

This is my problem with politics and religion. Both require a choice based on an either/or assumption of any given issue. Religion taught me that I was either for God, or against Him. Politics taught me that I am either Republican or Democrat. If I check the Independent box, I don’t get to play in the regular season.

Yes, it’s easy to categorize, but easy doesn’t always translate into effective, especially when it comes to making progress in religious or political discussion.

I believe there is a simple answer, but simple is not to be confused simplistic.

Digging a foundation is simple, but the work is hard. All it takes is a shovel, a strong back, and a little determination.

Jesus, save me from your followers

2010-03-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

I intentionally steer away from writing about politics, or even discussing them for that matter. It’s such a polarizing subject that it’s rare to find someone with whom I can air my thoughts and not fear I will be labeled a hypocrite, homophobe or some equally endearing kind of moniker. But it’s because of this reason I’ve decided venture out into the unknown.

As a writer, I have the tendency to stick with what I know and with that which I am most comfortable. But as I get more serious about writing, I am beginning to see how this will act as a major hindrance if I ever desire to improve my craft. One author puts it this way, “I write to learn and discover, not to air what I already know.” I like this approach.

Another part of my resistance in openly engaging in political discussion is because of the dissonance that is created by my faith. For some, it is their faith that pushes them into the political arena. For me it is just the opposite.

Faith and politics are two extremely personal and emotional subjects. Both elicit responses from the viscera, and in turn, wind up exiting the mouth before passing through the brain for a much needed inspection of humility and civility. What you end up with is a shrill debate with no understanding or progress.

In the days ahead, I will attempt to sketch out a series of conflicts between my faith and my politics, not for the purpose of resolving them, but more as an exercise to communicate my desire to hold both in tension. I’ve watched too many of my friends abandon one or the other because of this friction. I don’t subscribe to either/or thinking any longer. My world view is not that tidy, even as much as I wish it could be.

Faith would not be faith without the handmaiden of doubt, the doubles partner of uncertainty, and the antagonist of chaos. Faith blooms and flourishes because of what is unseen, not because of what is visible and obvious. For me, politics plays this role. It is my Lex Luther, my Mr. Glass, waiting to test the strength of its counterpart.

Karen asked me a question this week that I can’t get out of my head. She said, “Do you think more people would be interested in Christianity if it weren’t for the reputation of its followers being so judgmental?” In my mind, the essence of its Good News is anything but judgment, so how in the world did it get to this point? Jesus; OK, Christians: Not so much. The bumper sticker sermon that reads, “Jesus, protect me from your followers.” is not hard to comprehend.

This blog was born first for my sake. My first motive was to write for myself and not for an audience. I needed this blog more than you did, and still do. And if that ever changes, you will be able to tell. I will hang up writing.

Doing the Lord’s Work

2010-03-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

One of my servers came back into the kitchen during service last night and relayed the message, “Table 52 wanted me to tell you guys specifically about the brisket, “Oh my Lord!”

It told him that’s evidence that we are doing the Lord’s work.

The same was used in Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle by the workers in the early twentieth century Chicago slaughterhouses to keep their sense of humor while toiling under grueling subhuman conditions. When the pace of the line was forced unbearably forward, they would chide each other, “Now we’re really doing the Lord’s Work!

I defined the Lord’s work for years as a vocation with a certain look and appearance within a dedicated organization, defined by activities of preaching, teaching, and organizing events and activities for people. We called it ministry, and its meaning was commonly understood. This language is now changing, and so is its definition.

I remember my student director in college telling stories about the days of the sixties, when his culture was clamoring for spiritual truth, and how he took a semester off from college in order to travel around to campuses, preaching and leading people to faith. This model was used as a template for countless students, myself included, who were interested in trying to make their lives count for God. “Go into ministry,” was the response standard response to that yearning. And so we did.

As a businessman now, the terms Supply and Demand are a daily part of my thinking, but I think they should also be considered by the leaders of the Church As We Know It when thinking about how to counsel young talent and their vocational direction. Is the current Demand for spiritual direction from our culture equivalent to the Supply of people who make their living from the gospel?

Will the Church of the Future be better served by fewer professionals?

As a former professional, I always felt the need to justify my existence with stories of people and how their lives were improved because of my work, and the more of these I collected and dispensed, the better I felt about having you write me that support check. Now that I make my living from another enterprise, that pressure is off, freeing me to actually enjoy both my work and my faith to a fuller extent.

I am a pastor at my core. This is my gifting, but no longer my profession. And as with any true gift, it will work itself out in whatever I do. My reflex is to know you are taken care of, and to lead you to green pastures. I can’t help it, and neither can you.

Future Pastor, your gift is not based on your office, but found deep in your soul. It will percolate up from that source wherever you find yourself, be it in a job called Pastor, or in one with a seemingly unrelated title. How many of us know a pastor who hates his life? I bet we could make a sizable list. And how much of that disdain extends from the inorganic, unsustainable design of the Office of Pastor? The Church As We Know It chews you up and spits you out, and your average pastor stays in one congregation for an average of two years before he feels the “leading of the Lord” to move someplace else.

Find what makes you alive and exercise your gift within that realm. The seeds of your fruitfulness will grow much better in that soil.

Getting Out of the Insurance Business

2010-01-26T05:03:00.000-08:00

“Your child may be buckled in, but is that car seat they are riding in really safe? We’ll tell you in our report at 10.”

“Drinking Water: What you don’t know could kill you. Tune in at 10 to find out why.”

Undoubtedly you’ve heard these and many more like them. They are teaser lines for news shows to try and lure you into consuming the products they are producing. They need you to watch, so they will use one of the most effective motivational tools known to mankind: Fear.

Y2K. Global warming. Swine/H1N1 Flu. Just to name a few off the top of my head. We could together make a long list of fears for which we are being told to brace ourselves for impact.

Fear makes a great sales tool in aiding the salesman to move his wares. I wonder how many transactions were made for computer back ups, tune ups and reconfigurations at the turn of the century when we were told Y2K was going to bring our whole society to its knees? If you were in IT, it was a good year. I don’t know the figures, but I would guess the folks selling H1N1 vaccine have seen an increase in their numbers as well.

The Church of the Future has a lesson to learn from this paranoia. I was raised with a fear of God, fear of death and fear of hell by the leaders of the Church As I Knew It. While I still believe we have an eternal destiny, my outlook on it is shifting from one of selling fear to one of embracing love. How does this work? Let me illustrate it this way.

Fear cripples and clouds sound judgment. How did you act when the clerk at Best Buy asked if you wanted to buy the extended warranty on that printer you just purchased? “For an additional $19 you can have the peace of mind that if anything goes wrong, it will be replaced at no extra cost to you.” Did you think about it for a bit? Were you struck with a little twinge of regret when you said no? As you walked to the car, were you ruminating on whether or not you made the right decision? If so, thank Fear for doing its job.

This is a small example of how faith was sold to me as a young man. My entire reason for being was reduced down to having the right answer for these two questions. If I only knew how many times I was asked and taught to ask others, “If you were to die tonight, where would you spend eternity?” and, “If you were to stand before God and he asked you why should I let you into heaven, what would you say?” In essence, I was sold an Extended Warranty out of fear, not a Life of Faith with the Creator of Heaven and Earth.

I think insurance is a good thing. I have plenty of it. I have it to cover my life, my disability, my cars, my house, my business, my health. I believe it’s a wise decision for anyone. But if the determining choice that drives my decision to buy insurance is fear, I will never have enough. I will constantly be plagued by every “what if” scenario I see on the 10 o’ clock news. And the way litigation goes today, I’m sure I could be sued beyond even my insurance company’s ability to pay. So what will I allow to rule my life, Fear or Love?

Peace of mind will never be brought about by insurance, an extended warranty or having the right car seat for my child. Peace is the by product of a bigger source, one that only love can produce. If my life with God is carried along by fear, I’ve missed the boat. And yet the beautiful thing about Grace is, that even if I am following in fear, I am continually invited to step out of that boat and to walk on new places in freedom with Him.

Ted Haggard and Al Gore

2009-12-29T16:42:00.000-08:00

The challenge of communicating any vision is getting your listener to properly translate your words into the same mental picture that you see. If I spend all my energy painting an image of an apple for you, but somehow you think I’m describing an orange, then I’ve not done my job as a communicator.

I feel this way as I try to explain what I mean by the Church of the Future. I don’t have concrete examples in the same way as if I were telling you about the Church As We Know It. When you hear me use the word, “church,” you already have a prejudice toward the topic. So I search for other means to be understood.

Take the recent Green Revolution, for example. There is a section of our population that believes with all their heart that the earth is on a collision course with disaster because of the damaging effects of global, man-made pollution. Now my point is not to judge the belief, but to point out why the movement may be viewed with skepticism.

As a believer in global warming, if you try to convince me of your argument with anger and manipulation, you’re going to lose me. If fear is going to be your primary means and you get me scared that the sky gonna fall, I might bite, but how is that different than the Y2K craze ten years ago? I will change temporarily, but what happens when I don’t feel the same urgency a few years later?

In addition, I will further doubt the validity of your claims if your movement only looks like a means to make economic advancement by selling me products labeled “green.” And I am especially offended if those “green” products turn out to be inferior. You don’t look authentic in my eyes. You become yet another charlatan, nothing more than a facsimile of the hack preachers that give the Church As We Know It a bad name.

My point is not to forge an opinion about the Green Revolution, but rather to point out why I think it will end up with the same reputation as the Church As We Know It. It’s building itself on a foundation of fear and not love.

The Church of the Future will not need to make you afraid. It will recognize you are already full of fear. It will not need your money, so it won’t make you feel guilty about what you do with it. It will believe you are capable of blessing others and doesn’t assume that if you do as you please, that the natural outcome will be wrong. It believes your motivation comes from the divine transformation called rebirth, regeneration or a handful of other big theological terms.

One reason I recommend not going to the Church As You Know It on Sunday mornings is to give yourself a chance to step away from it and get a different perspective. It allows you to see the forest and not just the trees. It might allow you to understand why you feel so bored, so pent up, and frustrated.

You might see what I see.

Waking Up And Smelling The Coffee

2009-12-26T03:43:00.000-08:00

So how long do you think you can put up with it?

Some are capable of doing it their whole life. They seem to go through life content and happy with it all, never really seeming to be bothered too much. It leaves you wondering if they are just shallow people who don’t have the courage to look any deeper than the study guide, or if you are just simply a bad person caught up in a cycle of discontent that feels like a slow boat to no fun.

But again, this is not about them. No one else is your concern right now. This is about you and first finding the answer to your questions. Vision should lead to Clarity, and Clarity brings about Perspective. And once you possess all three, you are better equipped to find a beneficial answer than a destructive one.

I didn’t always think this way and I certainly wasn’t trained to think this way. It was all about God first, others second and me third. This little mantra is easy to recite and assists in getting a leader’s point across, but catch phrases like this one used to communicate a complex idea will eventually be taken out of context. It’s a fast food truth; simple, easy and convenient, but certainly not very nourishing.

If my most personal concerns fall at the bottom of that list of three, and if I am led to believe that getting those out of order will result in wanton hedonism and a narcissistic life, I will be ill-equipped to address the desperate condition in which my inner life has developed.

The ability to put others first is an essential life skill in any relationship. Display it as Deference or Selflessness, and you will, in no doubt, be well liked. But this can only be expressed from a position of security, and in knowing your own heart well.

If your biggest concern in leaving The Church As We Know It is what your kids will think, you are admitting that that the primary reason you take them to church is out of fear.

Fear is an insidious motivator, effective mainly in preventing mishap, but not very valuable when it comes to the role of inspiration. Your fear of water might keep you from ever having a drowning accident, but it sure won’t help you learn how to swim.

You may think you are putting them first by wanting them involved in spiritually related activities, but if your faith is shriveling up inside you, what makes you think theirs won’t end up in the same condition when they get older. Maybe their crisis will happen in half the time yours did. You went to Sunday School when you were their age. How’s that working for you?

You are nothing more than a dead man until your faith comes alive.

Who Wants Pancakes?

2009-12-17T03:56:00.000-08:00

So how’d you do this last Sunday?

I know, I know. It was a big hurdle of mine for some time, but I eventually got over it when I allowed my faith to grow a bit and realize the absurdity of my objection.

Do I really believe that the spiritual fate of my children rests in the hands of their Sunday School teacher?

You would think so if you saw how I wrestled with the question, “What about the kids?” when it came to the consideration of leaving the Church As We Know It. What would the kids think if you stopped going on Sunday?

Maybe they would think the same as you.

Would they enjoy being home as a family together, getting to make a big breakfast that you normally would never have time to do because you are rushing everyone to get dressed and get in the van so you can get to church and color?

Believe it or not, your kids get more definition from you about God, faith and the meaning of life than any other source of input. Yes, more than friends, MTV or the Internet. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy, or that they may put up a fight against you, but hold your ground and don’t yield your role as parent in the equation.

Taking your kids to Sunday School or Youth Group is fine and dandy and certainly there can be positive influence there, but these two things are way down on the list of importance when it comes to the key source of impact.

Kids pick up more than you know, and certainly more than you want them to. Once while driving I was listening to the Christian porn station with my very young daughter buckled in her car seat in the back. She asked, “Daddy, do we have to listen to the angry man again?” She discerned more about the message than I could have ever imagined. Yes, we switched stations and turned on music, and no, I don’t subject her to the angry man again.

You might need to give your kids more credit. In their innocence, they are capable of detecting righteousness without pretense that you as an adult have learned to express gracefully. Do they see Mommy and Daddy putting on a face for church that they don’t see any other time during the week? If so, this should terrify you more than the thought of not going on Sunday.

Your kids are little people. They are not extensions of you. They have minds of their own and will eventually make their own decisions apart from you. Are you reinforcing a sense of insecurity in them because of your own fears about what is required for faith? And when they get older, will they understand what freedom and liberty looks like because of you, or in spite of you?

It is for freedom that we were set free.

The alarm is going off, and you're tempted to hit snooze...

2009-12-07T10:07:00.000-08:00

Guilt pretty much ruled the day for you yesterday. You went through all the motions as usual; kids in minivan, kids to Sunday School, sit through 56 min of information, kids out of Sunday School, kids to lunch, kids back home…meanwhile your head is swimming with so much disillusionment, and now add the dutiful Christmas element to it for another few weeks….yikes, it’s too much to think about. Thankfully there’s football on when you get home.

All this ambivalence, where is it going to lead? Is this as good as its going to get? Is there any real hope of transformation that you can expect? If so, what’s going to change?

You are.

Yes, you are the one that will have to change, and it might cost you more than you ever know. And if your faith is of any real importance to you, as I think it is, you are capable of doing what is necessary to return to a vibrant, meaningful expression of that faith that will leave you dangerous in the eyes of many. And I mean that in a good way.

The first step toward your revolution of liberty is to quit demanding the Church As You Know It to be any different than it is. Stop letting it be the focus of your attention. The problem does not lie with it, and neither does the answer. You will not change the institution. You are capable, however, of changing the trajectory of your own path.

The Church As We Know It is full of people for whom the system works. There is no need to get those folk to answer your questions that they aren’t even asking themselves. It would be unfair to expect them to. Instead, focus on what you believe you wish you could do.

Start by not going on Sunday mornings.

If you are serious about getting your faith back, you have to be willing to confront the barriers that are keeping you from it. The system of Sunday church is killing your inner life. Why in the world would you want to keep beating your head against that wall?

Let me repeat: This is not an indictment against the Church As We Know It. I am not pointing any fingers at It. It is a wake up call to you, and you alone. This decision is not controlled by anyone else, but it has everything to do with you and whether or not you have the balls to step up and address what is going on inside your soul.

Remember when you came to a decision about faith, and how you feared many of your friends and family would not understand as you resolved to make God a central part of your life and worldview? Remember feeling resolutely you were going to have to cut against the grain and leave a few folk mad at you?

Same song, second verse.

Faith always runs the risk of being misunderstood, even when expressed in the best of intentions. Some will understand and some will not. Deal with it and get over it. Just be willing to contend with the fallout as a result, knowing that clarity may not emerge until a later time.

It’s time to take it back, my friend. And its not just your life that depends on it.

The Little Engine That Couldn't

2009-11-30T12:30:00.000-08:00

It’s Wednesday. You tolerate going, but she likes attending, and since she’s a stay-at-home mom, she relishes any kind of adult interaction she can get. At least this week, the group meets at your house, which means you get to watch all the kids in the basement. This is somehow preferable for an hour and a half than discussing the thoughts of man that has sold millions of books, even though you aren’t sure you agree with him, but what are your options at this point?

The Life Group, Family Group, Connection Group, or whatever it’s called, doesn’t provide you with any life, or sense of family or even much connection with other people. And yet to voice this leaves you feeling like you have a scarlet letter on your sweatshirt that is not mistaken for the college you attended. These are nice people. They have nice kids. They all seem very responsible. So why don’t you want to meet with them?

It’s not that these folk are bad or have anything wrong with them; it’s just that, it’s boring as hell.

And you hate this feeling. You wish it would go away. You aren’t a judgmental person, which makes it worse that you see it this way. Why can’t you fall in line, get with the program, stop being rebellious and self centered? It is working for so many other people, just not for you.

And so you feel trapped, stuck, with no alternative except to go along with the flow, which would be fine if there was an actual flow. Instead, you feel stuck in an eddy, spinning back and in and around, getting nowhere, only dizzy in the process.

You try harder. You remember the little choo-choo train illustration from your college days. You were always taught that Facts are the engine that pulls the Faith car and Feelings tag along like the caboose. You must be speeding downhill backward, because all you seem to have are feelings, ones that appear to be leading toward a train wreck. You fear you will be another spiritual casualty along the tracks of life.

So where do you turn? Who do you talk to? The pastor doesn’t get it. He’ll feel threatened that you don’t like him if you admit your boredom. Your wife, try as she may, does not understand the core of your dilemma. And while other guys may concur, they still seem out of touch with their own soul that they fail to identify what you are getting at.

Your only logical conclusion: They are right. You are wrong. They are in. You are out. They are fine. You are alone.

And this is where I beg to differ.

Can I Really Sing of Your Love Forever?

2009-11-29T04:59:00.000-08:00

If I were to guess, you’re about 39 years old, give or take a few. You have a couple of kids, small little rugrats, and you love being their dad. Your wife is a great mom and life companion. You share similar values but are different enough to make it interesting and humorous. You have the usual squabbles like everyone else, but you love her dearly.

You have a decent career oriented job. You feel challenged, sort of, but the pay is good, so you can’t complain. You’ve had a few offers to go elsewhere, but you’ve turned them down because of family priorities. Kids are happy, wife is happy; no sense in uprooting everyone for your ego. Besides her folks live nearby and watch the kids often, so you and your bride get regular time away. Can’t put a price tag on that, can you?

But you can’t put your finger on it. With all this going for you, why does it still gnaw at you at 3am, after tossing and turning too long? You’re too tired to get up, but too awake to stay in bed. You don’t want to read, late night TV only leads to more senselessness. What is the answer to this persistent question…

…why am I so bored?

And it’s most evident on Sunday morning. You’re a good dad, so you get the kids fed, dressed and in the car while your wife gets ready. At church you take them to their respective classrooms and leave them with eager, wonderful people who give you no reason to worry about their well-being, and you and your wife enter the flow of people into the large theatre and settle in for the next 56 minutes.

She knows something is wrong, because you have this tell-tale signal of rubbing your eyes that give an indication you want to stab them out with a fork in order to divert your attention to something engaging. You sing, sort of. You shake hands with people around you. You actually shut off your phone per her request so you aren’t tempted to text someone else who feels the same way you do. You listen as best you can, even though your mind wanders. You leave your tithe in the collection plate. And next thing you know, your 56 minutes is up.

So you shuffle out of the theatre, saying hi to a few folk on the way back to pick up your kids. They hand you their coloring sheet. The teacher gives a hug and a farewell. You buckle the kids in the back of the minivan, turn on Prairie Home Companion and listen to Garrison Keillor while you wait on your wife to fill her tank with social interaction.

When the bee is finished verbally pollinating the ears of the other familiar flowers, she gets in the car and informs you of the other families that are meeting at the latest child centered food and entertainment bonanza and asks if you would like to join them. “Of course” is the expected reply, and you pull out of the parking lot as the radio changes from NPR to Veggie Tales.

On arrival, mom suggests that dad take the kids right away to the playground while she orders the food, so you find the other dads at the ball pit with the same marching orders. You talk a little Favre and hope you can get home in time to watch the second half. In the meantime, its time to eat, so you begin the process of corralling the children and redirect their attention toward lunch. Once all the other parents clue in to their children’s restlessness, you all agree to disperse and say goodbye for another week.

And you wonder if you’re the only one that feels the way you do.

Two Old Stocks, Please

2009-11-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

Here’s another reason I will never be invited back to speak at the Church As We Know It. I’m not burning these bridges on purpose, or maybe deep in my subconscious I really am, but feel I’m only trying to speak about what makes sense to me now more than ever. Also, I’m not trying to be contrarian for the sake of stirring up controversy. I just look at the practice of my faith in a very different light now.

At the risk of burning in theological hell for this one, I’m really puzzled about the use of bible language to describe the future of church movements. Is it really a good thing to refer to our gatherings as “Acts 29” models, or as “New Testament” churches? Is it best to define what the future needs by going backward instead of forward?

No, I don’t hate the Bible. Just follow me for a few more paragraphs.

I’m not sure why I didn’t think about this in seminary, or in my years of being a part of the Church As We Know It. Maybe it was because I was too close to it all to see how I might be worshiping a sacred cow all because of a culturally held value, instead of a faith-based one. But I have to keep coming back to the words that were recorded of Jesus when he told his followers, “greater things than these you will do, if you have faith in me.” My question that is begged from this statement is: How will looking to recreate what has already happened lead to a movement any greater than the one we are trying to imitate?

Many of us yearn for awakening. We seek a movement and like to feel we are a part of the next wave that will roll like the tide and change the course of history. I know, I’ve been a part of it, and in some ways, still want it to and believe it can happen. I was convinced that the Passion Movement was going to usher in a cataclysmic event that would affirm Bill Bright’s vision of seeing spiritual awakening in his lifetime. But I was still looking backward, not forward.

Notre Dame Football is a case in point. Guys my age think about the Fighting Irish much differently than the 17-year old high school recruit looking to play football in college. It’s the older folk that want to get their school back in the National Championship hunt by speaking in terms of tradition, core values and past successes. Talented Prep Star doesn’t relate. He’s looking ahead, not behind. Why spend his abilities on a school that seems irrelevant to where he’s going?

We’ve done the same with the Future Pastors. They are the young men and women who show talent, leadership and vision, but instead of giving the keys of the Church of the Future to them, we want them to take over something of ours instead of creating something of their own. And when they don’t show an interest, we mark it up to the flaws in the generation.

Could be the problem lies with us.

Like it or not, Current Pastor, people like this are the future, and they are the ones that are going to replace you.

Both you and Notre Dame are going to have to contend with the future of your existence. Are you going to build a future or continue to create a world that looks like your past? If I were you, I would seriously take a look at the defensiveness my words are stirring up in you. I’m not talking about being relevant or dumbing down the message or diluting the Truth. If that is all you can see of this post, either I’m not being clear or we need to have a few beers together so I can explain what I mean further.

I’ll buy.

We used to have to walk to school uphill, both ways....

2009-11-10T12:49:00.000-08:00

Over the years I’ve read several books on the subject of spiritual awakening. The topic has always been of high interest to me, for reasons I can’t take the time to fully explain here, but I am drawn by fascination to the process of how and why social change occurs. Every author has his or her reasons, or solutions, but there seems to be one common thread woven through most writing to which I am familiar. Most everything I’ve ever read about spiritual awakening describes the process in terms of returning, or getting things back to the way they should be.

You can find works written about how to take our cities back for the glory of God, or for those who are interested in returning America back to Christ, or how to get our world back on the right track. In each case, the operative word is “back.”

Why not forward?

The wisdom of Solomon led him to propose this idea years ago. “Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.” I believe he recognized that in every generation, there is a tendency to think backward instead of forward. We do so because of personal experience. We’ve seen the past, but we’ve not seen the future.

But this kind of perspective requires very little faith. Faith is the essence of what is unseen, not what is seen. It takes less faith to look upon what once was and think it should be the norm. As I described in a previous post, I saw leaders who wanted me to recreate the Jesus Movement of the 70’s by telling stories in such a way that assumed they should be normative for my generation. All it created was a bunch of frustrated students.

This is why Solomon chides us to stay away from looking back on the good old days with anything other than fondness. It’s one thing to enjoy history, collecting antiques, and eating breakfast at Cracker Barrel, but when that affection turns into an obsession to remake the future in that image, it’s a good sign that faith is starting to erode.

Future Pastor, this is why I believe in you so much. I don’t want to become Bobby Bowden or Joe Paw. They are both legends in their field, but they are relics because the game has changed significantly. I know there will come a time I need to get out of your way and turn the reins over to you to lead your generation according to the vision you have that is instigated by your faith.

I love Al Pacino’s speech in the locker room scene of the film, Any Given Sunday, where he stands in front of his team at halftime and with the cadence of a gospel preacher, paints a picture of what it will take to win the ballgame. At one point in the speech he tells them clearly, “Now I can’t do it for you...” which is how I feel about finding the Church of the Future.

Future Pastor, you have a better opportunity to move forward than I because you have less of a past than I do. I can lead you, inspire you and walk a while with you, but it’s up to you to see what the future can be by faith. Trust what you envision. The old days were fine, and old guys like me will always look at them differently than you will, and that’s why you will change the world, not me.

He's an Unidentified Flying Object...

2009-11-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

It will be interesting to see how this generation of students will look back on their faith development 30 years from now. I wonder if they will feel the need to react or adapt with as much vigor as my generation.

I was spiritually raised in a post-Jesus-Movement era by leaders who experienced the awakening first hand. If I could narrow down what I got from them, it was built around the importance of having people pray a prayer of salvation. This was the cornerstone upon which all other components of my faith were laid. If I didn’t have a story to tell about how I witnessed to the person I met in line at the post office in 90 seconds, I felt a little less than whole.

It was commonplace to hear unbelievable illustrations about countless people in that day that were deciding to wake up, abandon their life of sex, drugs and rock and roll and follow Jesus. The stories were fascinating, and to a young college student, inspiring, but there was one major problem; they were told out of context.

The Jesus Movement happened in a unique period of time which, depending on who you cite, began sometime in the late 60’s and effectively was played out within ten years. I do not deny its historical importance and my point is not to criticize it. I am only trying to make sense of the shift that has come since then.

I believe a common yearning in every generation throughout the ages is to see society correct its course away from decline and redirect it toward goodness. I think most of us would agree that in any case, a reduction in crime, a shift in the divorce rate, lower teen pregnancies and greater charitable giving would be preferable. The Jesus Movement was one of those historic times that presented an answer to which many, especially young people, responded.

But I was handed the Jesus Movement ethos as normative, without realizing that the circumstance for it had already passed. My leaders were not aware either, and continued to tell their 15 year old stories, wanting me to replicate their experience. I tried for quite some time, until I discovered we weren’t in the 70’s any longer.

What I have kept with me on my journey toward the future is that same desire to see spiritual awakening occur in a new generation. How it will come about, however, is a whole new ballgame.

Awakening implies a transition from a state of unconscious slumber to one of conscious awareness. I physically underwent that shift this morning around 5am, when I no longer was asleep, to getting up out of bed, making a cup of coffee and typing this post. Does this same changeover occur spiritually? I believe so, and here’s why I think that way.

It has to do with why so many people leaving the Church As We Know It.

The last 30 years after the Jesus Movement has allowed a person like me to become aware of how I have been asleep. I am awakening to find what is not working, and to seeing what needs to be done, and eventually toward what could be, if only I stop looking for results that happened in the past. We can’t recreate the Jesus Movement, or the Student Volunteer Movement or the First and Second Great Awakenings, nor should we. It’s time to wake up to a brand new day, one with new mercies and new beginnings.

I would be willing to guess that the reason you read this blog is because the topics about which I choose to write are connecting with you in some way, that they arouse your spirit and make you ponder whether or not you are stirring from your sleep also.

Future Pastor, lets look ahead, not behind. Let the past inspire us, but not limit us. I’ll continue this vein of thought soon…

What are you so mad about?

2009-09-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

Now that I am years along in my exodus from the Church As We Know It, I can say that I have gotten to the point now where I can say that what I experience on a day to day basis is normal and no longer reactive. This is a good place to be, because it helps free me from the one thing I did not want to become, and that is angry.

In my experience, Anger was a sanctioned, justifiable evangelical vice that shaped me slowly, much like a steady flow of water makes it mark along it river banks. Over time it has an enormous effect, though at the time it was never really evident. But eventually I came to realize its constant force, and that it would take great effort to recover from it.

Running the risk of hyperbole, as a young man of faith, it seems like everyone I listened to, most every source of teaching, felt like it was motivated by some kind of anger. God was angry at what a lousy follower I was. He was angry that I didn’t read the Bible enough. He was certainly pissed that I was not more concerned for the unsaved or that I didn’t give enough money.

I learned all this from those who spoke for Him. They were quick to remind of all these shortcomings, and usually with a sense of anger in their voice. Therefore if God was mad, then that gave license to be the deliverer of the Good News in a very livid way. Even last night, on my way home from work, foolishly tuning into my Christian porn radio station (porn is any medium where its power is a promise of something it can’t deliver), the preacher was boldly defending your right to attack people doctrinally. Yes, attack was the word he used. Some easily accept this premise. My spirit rejects it.

I reject it because of what I believe the nature of anger is meant to do. It is a reaction. Not a motivation. This is why I believe the Scripture is descriptive of God being slow to anger. It’s also why we are to never discipline children in anger, or let the sun go down on our anger. Anger reacts, but to what does it lead us to do?

Love, on the other hand, is a motivation. It acts. It doesn’t react.

So the anger I absorbed from the pulpit, I have now come to see it as a reaction of shortsighted men. Were they really speaking for God, or were they aware that without their anger, they would find themselves powerless, out of control, and maybe even deeper, fearful that they were going to be punished by the God they were attempting to serve?

No, I am not one of those that pick and choose the verses out of the Bible he wants to believe. The anger of God is evident throughout the Whole Story, but maybe we are inclined to preach that way because it is that with which we are most familiar. The lack of love experienced leads to a lack of love expressed.

Francis Schaeffer, Toby Keith and Me

2009-09-04T04:51:00.000-07:00

Years ago I read a little book by Francis Schaeffer titled Escape from Reason. It’s a comparatively thin paperback, which is probably why I felt I should attempt reading something by Schaeffer. In it he drew a timeline describing how a cultural change will unfold. On the one lefthand extreme of the line he started with the works of the writers and philosophers, and how we tend to see ideas written and espoused long before we see actual cultural change occur. These folks are labeled extremists and often pegged as weird, since their thoughts are just too far away from the norm.

Next from the philosophers, are the artists and musicians, whose work will also start to reflect a desire for societal change. Often theirs may be reactionary or angry, but their yearning will become much more accessible, because their efforts are visual and auditory, and not just in written word form. I am old enough to remember war songs from the Vietnam era, and also now today in the Iraq conflict. While there are the occasional Toby Keith “boot in the ass” songs that express support, art will generally make its voice known in opposition and there is a reason for that.

While not its only role, good art raises questions. It makes you think and ponder what lies beyond, to what could or should be. Artists are artists for a reason. They don’t always fit in. They march to a beat of a different drum. They think differently. It’s this mentality that allows them to be known by labels such as starving or strange. Their thoughts are not like everyone else’s.

The third point in Schaeffer’s continuum is the general public. Eventually norms or mores start to shift due to enough impetus from the leading edge, and social change starts to become mainstream. Our last presidential election was an example of this. The use of the key words, Hope and Change, merely helped seal the deal that had been brewing for several years. The status quo was not working for enough people and a swing occurred.

The final place Schaeffer says that change will come is in the area of theology or the Church, which makes sense, because the theologians are the keepers of orthodoxy and tradition, which is not a bad thing, because in our world that had embraced the phrase “thinking out of the box” for everything from food prep to redesigned floor sanitation devices (a broom still works fine for me), we lose the place for ideas that don’t budge easily.

All this is to explain why I believe I grew restless with the Church As We Know It. It is my natural inclination to think ahead and ask, “How can I do better?” It really is as much a curse as it is a gift, because it makes it hard for me to shut my mind off and rest. Take this morning, for example. What am I inclined to do when I wake up at 5am and can’t go back to sleep? I step out on my patio with my laptop and I write thoughts like these. I wish I could just watch a movie or even go back to bed, but the fire in my bones always smolders and it won’t let me.

This is why Schaeffer’s time line makes sense to me. I am pulled far more by the thinking on philosophical/artistic side than I am the theological side. I lived in a world for many years that required me to sell a never changing product that I myself wasn’t even using, and it had nothing to with whether I believed in God or not, but it had everything to do with how that faith was expressed. Once it became clear to me that this cursed gift I hold needed to somehow be set free, I could live with new found joy and sense of place.

It is with this realization that I will probably never fit back into the Church As We Know It ever again. Knowing this, I no longer feel the need to look back into the tunnel and curse my darkness, but now look forward to open waters and blue skies again.

Riding the Storm Out

2009-09-01T05:17:00.000-07:00

My friend Bill wrote me an encouraging email yesterday, expressing his thanks for our friendship and what he referred to as my life outside of what is the church norm. I often feel misunderstood for my move away from the Church As We Know It, and that’s one of my top fears as a communicator, but to hear someone say that the direction I am taking now makes sense to them, that’s a pretty good feeling.

For so long my writing on this blog has been wrapped up in what I am not doing, about what I don’t believe any longer, and reasons why I stopped going to the Church As We Know It. I recently decided that I wanted to steer away from a negative stance to more of a positive one. I had no idea how hard it would be to generate thoughts accordingly.

Regular readers have noticed a lack of posting, and I have to admit that I feel I have very little to say in my new found theme. As a writer it makes me feel inadequate, and I in turn call myself into question, wondering if I really do have anything to say about the Church of the Future.

To lend myself a break, I would guess any true explorer experienced the same vague uncertainty. Pioneers, settlers, astronauts, scientists, entrepreneurs; the list could go on. The one difference in most of these is that what I am exploring has nothing to do with geography and everything to do with an inner journey. They mapped out the frontier, I am still charting my own heart.

I went to the State Fair last night to hear REO Speedwagon, a band I cut my rock-n-roll teeth on in the 70’s. It’s been several years, so I don’t know what triggered this thought, but I asked myself, “Why do I feel so free here?”

It had less to do with the freedom that I could enjoy the music with a cold one in my hand and not fret about being seen by someone at church who would report me back to an elder or other church member and call my integrity into question and recite a scripture about me making someone stumble and me not being concerned about giving an appearance of evil and that I should make a commitment to never drink in public or if I was in full maturity to never touch the stuff ever again…Whew.

No, I was simply enjoying a wash of freedom, of being glad I am alive, of reliving the sapling memories of my teen years, of holding on to today, and not grasping at tomorrow, of the preference I have for this kind of presence of soul.

And this is a sign of what I am looking for as I search for the Church of the Future, that I just might be on the right trail.

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-07-08T05:12:00.000-07:00

When Lewis and Clark were sent out to explore the west, they kept a journal of their experiences and regularly sent word back to President Jefferson regarding what they were finding. Those who love history may find themselves jealous of this kind of adventure, asking what it would be like to explore the frontier again.

This past weekend, while waiting for Public Enemies to show, a preview for Where The Wild Things Are rolled through. I remembered reading this book to my both my kids when they were young, but now that they are at the age of not wanting to be seen in public with me, I didn’t have a good excuse to plan to see this movie.

Filmmakers are savvier these days, because they know that the key to making a movie for kids is to interest, not only the children, but also the parent who will be spending the time and money to take them. Toy Story made me laugh more than my two little ones.

The hook, it seems to me, in the preview of Where The Wild Things Are is the word adventure. It appeared over and over again, appealing to every child’s fantasy of being a part of something wild and exciting. Scenes of bravery, battle and heroic quest imagined through the eyes of a pajama wearing boy. I leaned over to Karen and said, “This is not a kid’s movie. It’s for their parents.

Every adult was once a child, and some things we never grow out of, and I believe adventure is one of those urges. But like most longings, we fail to see the true meaning of their fulfillment. Hitchhiking across country, having an affair or playing the craps table may sound and even feel thrilling, but what is left at the end of the exploit?

Is there a frontier any longer? GoogleEarth can take us anywhere on the planet, and its not likely that you or I are going on a space mission any time soon. So where is adventure? Where are the new places to explore? Where do we go from here?

Maybe it has nothing to do with a physical destination, but more about taking a step of faith? Lewis and Clark had the Great Northwest to find, but it also took faith on their part to go there, to believe there was something out there to find, and that it was worth the risk to do so.

Over the last few years, faith has taken me on an adventure of both physical and personal discoveries. A restaurant exists now because of my faith. The Church of the Future is in better view, but more importantly, I have discovered myself more deeply. Terra Incognita has now become Terra Firma.

Now faith is being assured of what you hope for, and certain of what you don’t see…

Most changes aren't permanent, but Change is

2009-06-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

It dawned on me that I haven’t posted here in a month, and I realized why. I have less to say in this riff.

My Watchman blog has had much to do with processing a part of my story that in many ways has been reactive. I sensed a need to make a drastic change, and with that came an onslaught of reaction, reaction that required much thought and justification, if you will. I needed constant reassurance that what I was doing was OK, and since I had very few voices providing that, I had to look within to sort it all out.

Writing from this posture came easy, but I believe as a writer, I need to push myself to bring new thoughts.

According to my Gallup Strength Finder profile, one of my strengths is Futurist. My guide told me this is one of the more rare strengths on the grid, and that maybe one in a hundred have this. In Gallup fashion, I want to lean into that strength more. I want to see if I can provide more forward images of what I see ahead, and not just speak from where I’ve been. This may take time, and I may not be able to post as often as I have, but I will see what I come up with.

I am contributing to a new blog called CommuitasCollective.com. You can point your RSS reader to The Survivor page. My stuff will be there a couple times a month.

Thanks for reading. Who knew this little thing would turn into what it has become.

Power to the Pastors. You’re gonna get the Church back.

Go Back, Jack, Do It Again

2009-05-25T05:17:00.000-07:00

Continuing to ponder the rift between my old life and new, I wonder if I will ever be able to live without a pull backward to that former way of living I have since rejected?

My life took a radical turn the summer after my senior year in college. It was that point where I decided I believed in God, and that something would be required of me in order to make my lifestyle congruent with that belief. So in a form I was very familiar, I prayed a formal prayer to indicate that decision. I immediately felt a strong sense of relief.

The relief came, I think, not so much as a result of feeling the love of God or a rush of freedom of soul, but instead from looking at it from the standpoint of being on the right side now. I was now saved. I was not quite sure what that was going to mean, but at least I was safe.

Now these many years later, I’m still unpacking the results of that decision.

That decision led me to think and believe and choose a path that made perfect sense even as short as five years ago, but now it has led me to a very different expression today. I no longer make my living from that belief. I don’t go to church. I don’t make music any longer and lead people in singing. Many who knew me in those days would look at my life now and assume I have given up on that decision. But I have to say it’s quite the opposite.

I’ve spent a significant amount of energy wondering what it would have been like if I had made that decision under better circumstances, under kinder, more loving and graceful leadership. How better adjusted would I be today if I wasn’t raised with a fearful view of God, or a cause and effect relationship with the Bible? My assumption was, I would have been better off.

And maybe I would, but I don’t get a do over on that one. All I’ve got is a move over. I am asking my past to step aside, to move over and allow for new works of grace to take its rightful place over the more restrictive patterns that was offered me.

I can’t change what I was given, but I can change what I give away. I met a pissed off Jesus, but I can introduce you to a more loving one. I was led to believe my attendance in a group of people in one location on Sunday morning was crucial for my behavior to remain moral. Now I can offer a different idea for what a day of rest could be.

I was given a picture of awakening being painted with broad strokes on a canvas of church attendance and political involvement. I can now give out a belief that awakening implies slumber, and that the soul may not even be aware it is asleep.

Even though I like where I am and where I am going, the invitation to go backward is always standing. The past always beckons us to think that better days were behind us. Cracker Barrel has built a pretty good business plan on this idea. But the problem is, we can’t go back, nor should we. The past is safe, but it grows stale. The soul may survive on day old rations, but it will be unable to thrive without new life and new faith.

Is it possible?

2009-04-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

Continued from before I believe much of what Jesus did in his mission here on earth was largely unseen, and mysterious. I do believe in a spiritual realm that we cannot see, and the obscure references to Jesus passing judgment on the gates of hell are odd and hard to grasp. While these ideas are not without merit or importance, I try and put my attention on what I can understand and communicate. I can posit an idea or two about heaven and hell, but I am living on earth here and now, and feel I can speak a little more clearly about the latter. With all the words of Jesus we have recorded, if I can take the liberty to summarize all he said in one little phrase, it would be these three words: "You are free." Its because freedom in the reason He set us free. Freedom to do right. Freedom to do good. Freedom to believe that I am free. I just didn't experienced a whole lot of that when I was immersed in church culture. Freedom was something to be feared. One guy told me that he would rather err on the side of law than on the side of grace. He explained that if he was to wander, at least he would be far enough away from being accused of being loose or immoral. Discipline would keep him safer from sinning than would the risks of freedom. I didn't get the logic of his idea. If I'm going to err, I'm going to err. Does it matter which side of the line I fall? Jesus' call to freedom releases me to follow what he pointed to as the Greatest Commandment. Do I love well? Would God and others say I do? If not, why not? I think we get too hung up on trying to find a specific blueprint of what Jesus wants me to do and less aware of what He hopes we will do. Consider the things Jesus never did. He never was married, never had kids, never owned a house, all three of which many men today do. Instead of trying to figure out what Jesus would do as a husband, father, or homeowner, is it too much of a stretch to imagine him asking, "What would you do?" My dad was a man of deep faith, and it affected how he lived and how he raised me. His biggest legacy was instilling a belief that he was behind me in whatever I did. Is it possible that Jesus is trying to do the same? I think my dad and Jesus were trying to tell me the same thing... ...you are free.

Yes, I do

2009-04-19T06:41:00.001-07:00

Anonymous said...

Any thoughts for someone who is in full time ministry and wanting out?

Yes, I do.

It's a big decision to make, one that took me several years. It's a decision that contains multiple layers, and each of them require some serious thought and consideration. Doing so is a revealing process, as it will lead you to motives you may not have been aware of.

Your first point of clarity is knowing why you want to get out. Are you bored? Are you disillusioned, maybe tired of being broke, or are you just fed up with the assholes in your church? These reasons need exploration, and that search needs to be done with a trusted voice who will let you talk it out completely with out judgment. I try my best to be objective, even though I made the choice to leave, I'm smart enough to know that my decision is not the right one for everyone else. Who knows, you may just need a good vacation in order to feel better about your lot in life. But I would doubt it.

A second layer to peel back is knowing where you want to go. Leaving is one thing, having a destination is another. I left because I had a compelling notion to start something new, completely unrelated to what I did before. It pulled me out, and forward. Even though many would not understand, it gave me a justification that I could rely on and defend in my own soul, which is essential, because there will likely be many lonely days ahead once you launch out.

A third aspect of which to be aware is what other people think. The good spiritual answer is that we are only supposed to care about what God thinks, but if you have helped people in their faith development, that is not something to be taken lightly. You will need to be able to communicate to these folks why you are making the shift. You can't just leave and expect them to fully understand without giving them a reason why. People will have to make their own choice about what they think about your decision, but how you consider them is yours.

I know this oversimplifies it, but I wanted to acknowledge your question and say that leaving vocational ministry is not the end of the world, despite what you may have been led to believe. I was always beat over the head with the verses on perseverance, and diligence and how if you take your hand from the plow, you are not fit for the Kingdom. These can be easily taken out of context and made to apply to your vocation and not your deepest soul. Leaving your ministry position may be the very thing to put you back on track toward renewing your faith. I know it did for me.

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Feeling Bad For Not Feeling Bad

2009-04-12T05:36:00.001-07:00

Easter morning. The day all good Evangelicals and other Christian types meet to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. The focal point of belief, the reason for our forgiveness, the cause that changed history. So why again this year, am I having a difficult time not making a bigger deal out of it? Why am I fine sitting in my morning chair, enjoying a quiet house, reflecting on my week, and savoring a rich cup of coffee? I think it has something to do with not feeling bad any more. Back when I was a good Evangelical, there was a point of view I completely bought into that I am only now starting to unpack and question why. This sentiment was expressed so commonly, especially in every other worship song I sang and led, I adopted it as if it was my intended lot in life. Let's just call it the identity of desperation. The one song that embodied this idea as good as any was the one titled, "Breathe." The simple lyrics of "I'm lost without you; I'm desperate for you." rolled off my lips like bailouts out of Washington. I loved this song. I thought it was so brave and courageous to sing this kind of passion, until I came to a discovery a few years down the road. I think the main reason I connected with it was because I was depressed. I felt horrible about myself, my place in life and what the future might not hold. In fact, I am starting to realize that much of my spiritual identity was built around that condition, and now that I am no longer depressed, I am redefining my faith accordingly. And I wonder if I'm not alone. Part of the reason I don't want to go back to the Church As I Knew It is that it helped reinforce my feeling bad and I don't feel a need to return to that place in my life again. Maybe I am, but don't feel like I'm trying to lay blame on Church or anyone other than myself, because ultimately I am the one responsible for the maintenance of my spirit. What got me thinking about this more were all the little Facebook profile updates I see from my friends expressing their sentiments about Easter. Sentiments that once made perfect sense now seems so foreign to how I view Christ and what His life represents. Honestly, I don't feel like a wretch anymore. I don't feel desperate any longer. I feel free and empowered. I don't rise each morning with the need to read the Bible and have it remind me of all that I am doing wrong. I don't need a weekly sermon to reinforce the darkness of my depression with a general assumption that I am nothing more than a man in need of a Savior. I guess I want to keep moving forward to better places and there are too many voices around me proclaiming their sin and shame and not enough living in freedom and power. I don't claim to know what God is thinking all the time, but if the image of Him as Father is accurate, would I want my kids calling me at all hours of the day to recount all the ways they let me down and to remind me of what bad children they are? If indeed He is risen, I'm pretty sure He's going to stay that way, and I'm going to do my best to do the same. Happy Easter.

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Now, what was it you wanted me to do?

2009-04-05T19:12:00.000-07:00

It was called horse sense where I grew up, but you might know it as common sense or savvy or gumption, but it is a quality that indicated the ability to see the obvious and call a spade a spade. Folks that didn’t have it were labeled as thick, or dense or just plain dumb. It seems there are more and more spades today that are not being labeled as such. Take this oft used statistic, for example. Research shows that there is very little difference in the morality, if you want to call it that, between people who proclaim to have faith in Christianity and those who don’t. Divorce rates are the same, teen pregnancies are similar. Christians seem to have just as many affairs and who know what other kinds of problems. Why is this? There is a religious segment that would say its just old fashioned sin that needs to be repented of. This group has been pounding the drum loudly that all our social ills are an indication that America is being punished for these sins and the solution is that we simply need to stop what they are doing and turn back to God. Let’s say that’s true. How does that happen? This was the line of thinking I was handed in my early faith development. It was more like the sentiment of Nike than anything supernatural. The Sunday preacher would open the Bible and point out all the behavior that we, the struggling followers, should avoid, and we were expected to “just do it.” Nothing really mattered other than raw obedience, and since nothing ever changed, this gave the preacher job security, who would continue the same browbeating week in and week out. Why didn’t this work, and by work I mean results in any kind of change in social or personal behavior? I would venture to say that we had no idea of what we were to become. There was no Ideal, if you will, to look toward and emulate. And without an Ideal, we are left with whatever we see around us. And if the majority of people I know are getting a divorce, why should I expect to be any different? When the going gets tough in marriage, why not jump ship? What really keeps me wanting to make it work? You might say Jesus is that Ideal and that he should be the example for all our dilemmas. But I’m not sure that was the main point of his short lived earthly presence. Jesus wasn’t married. He doesn’t live next door. He didn’t play basketball. He didn’t drive a car or have use of the Internet. There is so much we do today that he never did. WWJD can only go so far. Could it be the Ideal is much closer to us than the example of one who lived in a far away culture hundreds of years ago? To be continued...

What you make of it

2009-03-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

I find interesting the CNN article on the decline of Christianity in America. I’ve heard and read a few takes on these results, ranging from defensiveness to indifference. I personally don’t put too much stock in polls after my senior year stats professor told us that you can say anything you want with statistics, depending on how you report the data. But I have seen what may affirm these findings, at least among the small cross-section of people I know.

Over the years I’ve witnessed a number of folks, me included, who have drifted away from the practice of their faith in the form of the Church As We Know It. It ranges from one end of just not going to church, to the other extreme of rejecting God and faith entirely. Call it disillusionment or crisis of belief, bottom line is that Church just isn’t working for them.

I know everyone has their own stories, complicated as they may be, but if I were to simplify why I believe this shift is taking place, it is the tension that exists between what is Real and what is Ideal.

As children growing up in church, our elders presented the idea of God to us the best way they saw fit. I remember learning bible stories on a flannegraph, a novel little method on which Noah or Daniel or Solomon were cut out of cloth and placed on an easel covered with flannel. The teacher interpreted the stories of these men to us in terms a little child could understand.

But as we grew older, some of us never saw our faith mature past those stories. Noah might have been the nice man who obeyed God and built the ark to save the animals, but what do we do when we start contending with the God who destroyed the world in his wrath? Or when we realize The Wisest Man in the World was also the man Who Slept With Lots of Women? I understand why this angle was left out of first grade bible curriculum.

One option is just to jettison it all over board and adopt a position of indifference, cynicism or further still, hostility. It is too conflicting to see religious leaders rail against homosexuals when your best friend is gay. To be stuck in the middle between the church culture that you question and your non religious family may leave you with no place to stand. It's easier to just side with one or the other.

This is what I mean by the Real and the Ideal. What we hope for, long for and dream about gets juxtaposed with the way it really is. If God is Love, why does it seem there is so much anger among those who say they speak for Him? If the primary image of God in the New Testament is Father, why did dad leave mom? What does all this dissonance mean?

I think it means we are stuck in a fallen place. I think it means we need men and women who will hold fast to the Ideal and not let the Real defeat them. It means we have to decide if which of the two will get the best of us.

Overcoming Writer's Block

2009-02-15T18:08:00.000-08:00

I apologize if this seems self serving, but I found it helpful as a writing exercise, I decided to try another 25.

1. I’m afraid I may have a reaction to caffeine that affects my sleep in a weird way, so I have been off caffeine for a month.

2. I‘ve taught myself a number of skills over the years, and I easily forget that this is a uniqueness to my personality. I assume that since certain things come easily to me, they should be just as easy to someone else.

3. I eat better and less now that I am immersed in the creation of food. Instead of being tempted to eat, I have a greater respect for what I eat.

4. I would rather spend money on memory making rather than acquiring possessions. If I were given $500 to spend, I’d take a weekend trip over buying a flat panel plasma TV.

5. I don’t understand the appeal of traveling on a cruise ship. My idea of a cruise is taking a canoe into the Boundary Waters for a week.

6. The food I am embarrassed to admit that I like: Crunchy Cheetos.

7. I am not afraid of heights, but snakes still creep me out.

8. If I win the lottery, and no longer have to worry about income, I would build a workshop to mill lumber and craft furniture in the winter, and grow a massive market garden in the spring, summer and fall.

9. I like teaching others about things I enjoy.

10. The guitar solo in Blue Collar Man by Tommy Shaw made me want to learn how to play guitar.

11. The concert I am embarrassed to admit I wish I could have seen: Kiss.

12. I’ve recently learned how to not wear a watch.

13. I own and have read the hardback versions of all the Tom Clancy novels.

14. I grew cherry tomatoes in a 3x3 plywood box that I made when I was 10. And I wonder why I eventually became a chef.

15. I actually like cleaning stuff. I think it makes me feel in control of my environment.

16. I brought home a beagle last year for my wife’s Valentine’s Day gift. It’s the single smartest decision I have ever made.

17. I decided not to play football my sophomore and junior year of high school. Years later, I look back on the resolve to make that kind of decision at a young age and wonder where that inner strength came from.

18. I collect old signs and hang them on my outdoor patio. I’m not sure why.

19. One criterion that I use in choosing a book to read is, will it make me think?

20. In my late 30’s, I went through a season of depression, and one beacon of light during that time was seeing Blue Man Group in Las Vegas. After the show, I wasn’t sure what I had just witnessed, but I was convinced it was something important. I later realized they were telling me to pursue my dream.

21. In my college years, I memorized a countless number of bible verses and could quote them word perfect. To this day I don’t know if the motivation to do that was virtuous or not.

22. I went to a high school that utilized corporal punishment, in other words, I got my ass beat with a wooden paddle when I got out of line. This will shape your worldview.

23. I am drawn toward people who know where their pain comes from.

24. I wish men still wore hats. I’d wear one now, but I’d hate to draw that kind of attention to myself.

25. I’ve worn Levi’s 560 jeans for fifteen years, simply because I don’t like to think about what I will wear. I know my size, so when I need a new pair, I don’t even have to try it on in the store. I like this kind of stability.

25 little known and seldom sought facts about me

2009-02-10T12:57:00.000-08:00

I'm usually not into these meme things or being tagged, but since I've had some writer's block, I thought this might be a good exercise to get me moving on this blog again. Here are 25 things about me.

1. I am a morning person and do my best work in the AM. I get drowsy in the afternoon and can fall asleep very quickly. I’ve recently fallen asleep at a stoplight, only to be wakened by a honking horn. That’s a scary feeling.

2. I take out and put in my right contact lens first, then the left, always, every time.

3. My default lunch is an apple, a chunk of blue cheese, pepperoni and crackers.

4. Disorder makes me uptight. When I sense chaos in the kitchen at work, one of my first reactions is to stop and get the workspace organized. Clutter is unsettling to me.

5. I love to travel. My first big trip was to Bermuda at age 10. Since then I’ve had the chance to spend enough time to taste the food and culture in Mexico City, Nairobi, Kampala, London, Glasgow, Leeds, Vienna, Budapest, Bucharest, Beijing, Xi’an, and Bangkok.

6. I am obsessively creative, which makes it very hard to lie around and watch movies or TV or participate in activities with no outcome. I prefer going to the cinema over watching DVD’s at home because there are less distractions there.

7. I will throw out or give away perfectly good items because I don’t like having to create a place for them. I do this with clothing regularly. As you can guess, I have a small closet space.

8. I can make food that people enjoy and are willing to pay for. I dream of making music that is playable in front of a paying audience.

9. I’ve learned how to listen before I speak. I am secure enough in what I believe to let you have your say. I listen to Rush Limbaugh and NPR because I find them interesting.

10. If I could have three channels on cable, I would subscribe to The Food Network, The Travel Channel and that one that has the show on how things are made.

11. I feed wild birds. I hang bird feeders outside my front window and watch the colorful birds stop by. My favorites are the yellow finches, which turn bright yellow in the winter. I have a reason for doing this that I won’t put here.

12. I am a persistent person and don’t give up very easily. This enabled me to endure the long, long process of opening an original restaurant, and watch it become successful.

13. I collect friends. To do so, I stay in touch with people. Before facebook and email, I did this by letter writing. I kept stationary and note cards in my desk, along with stamps, so I could jot a quick note. I wrote several per week in college.

14. I miss my dad, who passed away about 3 ½ yrs ago. My first thought of grief when I learned that he died, was that he will never see bread&cup, that he would never get to sit at my bar so I could serve him a pint, and hear him say how proud he was of me.

15. I don’t like politics, not because I don’t find it interesting, but because I hate the polarizing effect that it has on people involved in it. I can’t watch cable news shows because they wear me out. Occasionally I tune into the BBC news. At least that guy doesn’t seem angry about everything.

16. I am fascinated by process, of how things are made or created. I recently went out to a farm to watch a steer slaughtered, from the kill, to drawing and quartering, all because I want to know more about where your food originates.

17. I brew my own beer. Again, this has as much to do with process as it does with a mighty fine finished product that I can be proud of.

18. I’ve run three marathons so far, and will probably do one again eventually. I haven’t committed to one lately because I don’t like to start what I can’t finish. This is the whole reason I started running as a sophomore in college. I would never need a gym, or weights or a team of people to pull together. A decent pair of shoes and motivation would be the essentials, and I figured I could probably come up with both of those, even if I was poor.

19. I love playing craps and blackjack, and have a system I rarely deviate from when at the table. I never reach back in the pocket for more money if I lost what I started, which was literally in the first 15 minutes of a session with some friends in Vegas. I spent the next three hours in the coffee shop reading the paper while they kept winning. That day sucked.

20. The reason I finally gave in to the hair loss and shaved my head, was as a result of seeing Andre Agassi playing tennis years ago, who went from long hair to no hair. I thought if he could do it, so could I.

21. My closest brush with fame was sitting two rows behind Bono, The Edge and Larry at church in San Francisco one Sunday morning in 1988.

22. Too many choices wear me out, which is why I don’t like restaurants like the Cheesecake Factory, where the menu resembles a Rand McNally road atlas. Give me two or three options about anything, and I’m OK with it.

23. I think I figured out why I listen to jazz so much. It’s because when I hear it, I imagine what it might feel like to be a player in the band. See #8.

24. I don’t pretend to understand the grief process, but I have learned that when I come across a friend sitting alone in the ashes, the best thing to do is just sit down with him and keep my mouth shut.

25. I consider myself a learner and hope to spend the rest of my life educating myself.

Wednesday Night is Ladies Night

2009-01-27T03:51:00.000-08:00

Dear Current Pastor,

Ever wonder if doing church in the way that you commonly know it is most effective? Do you ever sense that there might be a better way? Let me offer you some advice that won’t cost you a dime, and will save you the cost of a trip to the South Barrington Headquarters for the annual pep talk.

Implement a cover charge for your Sunday Services.

Think about it this way. Anything that is worth something has a cost associated with it. Gasoline isn’t free. Movies aren’t free. Tickets to concerts now can cost over a hundred dollars. Why should your Church As You Know It be any different?

Oh sure, you have the tithe, but you and I both know that only about 20 percent of your people foot the bill for the rest of the freeloaders. Have you made it too easy for folks to get in, get out and get on with their life? Would anything change if you had to give the usher five or ten bucks just to get in the door?

Yes, I’m serious.

Your church is a production just like any other business or entertainment endeavor. You are dispensing a product that costs you and your team time and money every week, yet you don’t expect every person to bear any cost whatsoever. This seems out of sorts with a basic principle of cost/benefit analysis. If your people are benefiting from your work, and they aren’t paying for it, who’s the smarter one of the two?

See, if you charge a cover, and your services are really that powerful and life changing, you’re going to get people to shell out the cover charge, no problem. People bitch about rising ticket prices at the theater, but they still go don’t they? Hollywood only needs to worry when people stop going to movies.

And the same for you. If you charge a cover at church, and no one wants to pay it, then Supply and Demand proves to be right once again. If there is no demand for what you supply, then maybe its time to take a closer look and ask why?

Churchicus Futurium

2009-01-06T06:36:00.000-08:00

I was hanging out with the Terrestrial Transient a few days ago enjoying a Santa Fe 25^th Anniversary Imperial Porter, and amid the conversation came a comment that resonated with me as to why I don’t like to speak in definitive statement regarding the Church of the Future.

“It seems like, when we rush to give something a name, it immediately becomes limited.”

“You just gave me my next blog thought” I replied.

I get asked regularly by people who read this blog about my definition of The Church of the Future, and I hesitate to give what they are looking for. Definitions are for experts and consultants. They help to sell books and seminars because they are easier to write down in a syllabus.

I prefer to define with stories.

After my Saturday night kitchen shift, I was unwinding at the bar and taking pleasure in the fading energy from a full night of service. A couple came in and saw someone they recognized. The initial squeal, followed by the hugs, led to a conversation I could not help but overhear.

It didn’t take long for me to catch the nature of what they were engaged. While I could not recreate it verbatim, the essence of what was said made me smile, as it affirmed my belief that the scattered seeds of The Church of the Future are germinating. Words like “our vision,” “create community,” and “what are we waiting for?” peppered their brief, lively discussion.

What I wanted to do, but my discretion prohibited, was to turn around and say a resounding, “Yes!” to these young future pastors, because most of us need little more than a simple “yes” to validate our idea and give us permission to take the first step. As it is, I fear the Church As We Know It will feel the need to identify it with a name, thereby limiting its potential in the process.

Current Pastor, if you see any of these seeds sprouting in your field, I would recommend you sit back and watch them grow before applying current methods of cultivation. Avoid the temptation to prematurely name, or cage the growing young organism. Let it be and watch for the fruit, for it is the fruit will determine what it is to be called.

Hooking up with Jesus

2008-12-22T04:55:00.000-08:00

Coming off a comment by Les on the last post, I began thinking about intimacy as it pertains to faith.

Intimacy is a polarized experience. It can be both terrifying and indescribably settling. The fear of being known so vulnerably is balanced by the peacefulness of knowing the vulnerability is safe with another person.

Intimacy with God was a concept that was tossed about in The Church As We Know It as some type of holy grail that was easily accessible and achievable by certain practices of bible reading, prayer and singing an inordinate amount of songs that were composed of language that bordered on sensual.

Toward the end of my days as a professional minister, I began reconsidering the use of this kind of language in public expressions of worship. Now that I am a few miles outside of town, those thoughts are reinforced.

When you are intimate with someone, you keep certain things between just you and that person. Personal secrets and nicknames are kept closely guarded. We save our most intimate expressions of affection for our most intimate moments, that is, when you and that person are alone and no one else is around.

This kind of intimacy is expressed in the imagery of Revelation, which says that God would give a token of affection to those who endure suffering for His sake. The token would be a small white stone upon which a name was written. This name would be secret and only known to the person to whom the stone was given. Thus the name is a way of honoring the relationship and serves as a reminder of that shared intimacy.

Sex was supposed to provide two people with this kind of intimacy, but our culture seems to think this is an old fashioned notion. When we take a personal, private matter and turn it into a public one, to use the common vernacular, someone gets fucked. Pleasure is had, but intimacy is tossed out the window. And this is the real tragedy.

I run the risk of making a gross comparison, but it appears to me that a similar experience developed along the way in our public expressions of worship. Good worship was often rated by how good it felt and not so much about a deep abiding faith in God. It felt really good at that point in time to sing those songs, but am I able to experience even greater pleasures of God when I am outside the public setting?

One thing Revelation did not say, but I imply, is that I doubt no one is going to be turning their name on that white stone into a top 10 worship song.

A parallel universe

2008-12-09T04:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Future Pastor,

One of the most enlightening decisions I have made in the last three years is to distance my faith from the culture that has been created by it.

While I would hesitate from turning my experience into a step-by-step handbook, I will offer to you how I think it has helped me, and if you find some kind of inspiration in it, all the better.

For years I was immersed in a parallel culture, one that glided alongside a similarly functioning secular one, only smaller in scope. Like any tribe or people group, my religious culture had a language, values, mores and traditions that made perfect sense while I lived among it, but now that I have moved to another place, I look back and scratch my head at certain former ways of carrying on with life.

I pulled out some old “worship” CD’s today and listened to what I was captured by a mere few years ago. The songs I considered cutting edge seem so different now that I am outside the culture that created them. Please don’t hear me saying that they are bad, inferior or that I have somehow become enlightened and superior in judgment over them. It’s just that I have a different point of view.

As the music played, I recalled with fondness some of lyrics that I sang and even wrote, but asked myself why they don’t hold the same meaning now. I believe it’s because I have learned to speak a different language now, and vernacular of the religious culture doesn’t translate very easily into my new life.

The Church as We Know It holds its own language in reverence. But does your average outsider have a category for terms like King of Kings and Lord of Lords or Lamb of God or I want to touch You, I want You to hold me, I need to feel your arms around me, draw near and caress me with Your embrace?

Now that I am an outsider, these don’t seem to make as much sense to me, either.

Future Pastor, I’m not trying to throw you into confusion, but you will have to take into serious consideration these kinds of changes you will inevitably face if you decide to take seriously becoming a pastor of The Church of the Future.

Guilt is one of those paths you will likely have to walk. Prepare to ask yourself, Am I doing the right thing? Am I walking away from the core of my faith? Am I abandoning orthodoxy? Am I ashamed of the gospel or even my profession? I went through a season having to answer these questions. But I eventually have come to accept the wrestling match with guilt as a part of the process of becoming who I was made to be.

Exit 432

2008-11-19T05:32:00.000-08:00

Dear Future Pastor,

The last two weeks have left me with very little reserve to draw upon. My 20^th century guilt was trying to convince me that it had to do with my lack of discipline or being a part of the Church As We Know It, but I knew better. I now refer to it as reality.

All this brought me to my day off work wondering what I should do about it. I had a thought to visit the Holy Family Chapel along Interstate 80 between here and Omaha. Perched upon a hill overlooking the Platte Valley, this mysterious looking edifice always invokes in me the question, “What is that thing?”

I made my way northeast along the ribbon of highway and found the exit leading down the dirt road to the quaint little sanctuary. My lack of knowledge of this place produced a little anxiety, as does anything dedicated as holy. I’m sure some passersby might have seen it as a glorified Stuckey’s to be checked off their cross country travelogue, but for me it felt somewhat ominous.

This is what I like about the Catholics. They have tried to keep the Sacred at arms length, treat it with reverence and maintain that division between it and all that is secular. They erect sanctuaries and cathedrals and monasteries and recite liturgies as a means to remind them that God is Other and I am Ordinary. The evangelicals, on the other hand, tear the veil, blunder in, and make everything familiar.

Regardless of position, all of us have to admit our tendency to slump into a complacent course. The liturgist must overcome it as well as the non-traditionalist. It is hard to keep fresh when it comes to spiritual direction.

Which is why I think my visit to Holy Family Chapel was meaningful. It was different. It was off the beaten path. It caught me off guard, and I needed that.

As I drove away, my spirit felt relieved and like a reflex I considered coming back again soon. But Something suggested otherwise. As I mulled over the rationale, I concluded that my need was not met by my visit to the Chapel itself, but mostly out of an age old Truth.

If you seek Me, you will find Me.

Hope and Change

2008-11-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

As I’ve said before, I try to keep my political opinions out of this blog, as I know how polarizing politics can be. It’s not that I don’t hold firm beliefs, it’s just that my thoughts about the spiritual life may not ever get heard if I interject what I think about politics.

I will comment on Tuesday’s election in light of an observation I have made before. It is the word; Transcendence.

This time in history reminds us even more of this need.

Why else do we gather in stadiums with 80,000 other sports fans to watch 11 guys try and get a leather ball across a particular line on a grass field?

Why do we wait in line for hours and camp out for tickets for a show to be reminded that I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For?

And why would a kid need off work so he and some buds can drive 10 hours to stand in a sea of humanity in Chicago’s Grant Park on a Tuesday Night in November?

Transcendence.

And Barak Obama is helping a generation with this need.

The other major headlines are nothing to rally around. The gravitational pull of the economy, national security, and healthcare concerns are enough for the average citizen to feel the downward pressure of the extra weight. This added burden demands relief, and transcendent moments like Tuesday nights decision provide that liberation.

To transcend is to rise above, to be lifted up and over all that is ordinary and become distinct. And to many, Barak Obama is their means of transcendence.. He has brought a majority of people up and above the current state of mind about this country. He has lifted spirits and attitudes. He has campaigned on two simple words: Hope and Change. The nationwide response to both signals a yearning for transcendence.

To borrow a phrase from film, The Incredibles, if everyone is special, then no one is. In a culture of self-fulfillment, it is not enough to feel good about me. I need to feel great about something greater. I need to rise above, and I need help doing so.

Good luck, President-elect Obama. Lead strong. Lead us well.

You. Happier?

2008-10-14T04:25:00.000-07:00

Here’s a thought I’ve been ruminating lately. With the mortgage crisis front and center in all the news and talk, it makes me wonder if the average person has any idea why it came about?

Most are able to blame Wall Street fat cats, and the Republicans and Democrats are trading shots at each other, contending that their opponent is somehow the culprit, but what about the consumer? Where does the consumer fit into the picture?

Everyday I get a raft of credit card applications in the mail, in effect begging me to apply for their card and receive their low interest rate or their unbeatable balance transfer offer. And everyday I run them through the shredder. And everyday I see why it was so easy for us to get into this current financial quagmire.

Fault the lender for being so tempting, but also fault the borrower for not being wiser. The Serpent made the offer of the apple, but Adam and Eve went against their instructions and took the first bite. Both got punished. If I am living beyond my means, regardless if the government or my neighbor can’t do so, that still doesn’t make it right.

The latest ad campaign from Best Buy includes a slogan that reads, “You. Happier.” I am teaching my daughter to mock things like this. How stupid does Best Buy think I am, that they believe that me buying a stupid flat panel TV is going to have any bearing on me being happier? What do they take me for?

Well I guess they take me for the average American, who is in consumptive debt up to their eyeballs, who doesn’t have the wherewithal to recognize a lie from a good deal.

I wonder if we as a consumptive society will every get fed up to the point that advertising strategies like Best Buy will actually backfire and have a negative effect on their sales? Will we ever come to our senses long enough to feel offended by a statement, “You. Happier?”

And once we get through this mortgage mess, will we really ever learn a lesson from it?

Something tells me to not hold my breath.

Cart before the Horse

2008-09-29T07:37:00.001-07:00

Future Pastor, back to your question about how often the Church of the Future would, or should, gather.

I believe this question is irrelevant, or at least too early at this point in our discussion. The inquiry is seems more concerned with function, not fruitfulness. We should first want to concern ourselves with what exactly are we wanting to create.

I planted a few apple trees in my back yard, about seven years ago, and every year at this time my daughter asks me when the apples are going to be ready. I shamefully tell her that yet again we don’t have apples to pick, to which she quickly asks, “How come?”

“It’s hard to say.”

“Be fruitful and multiply” was the original freedom given to us as human beings, and I believe that process is implicit in all living organisms. Everything around us is fitted with the ability, or at least the longing, to grow and leave behind a reproduction of itself. So when it comes to your desire for expanding the Church of The Future, do you have in mind what you want the fruit to look like? What you envision is what you will reproduce.

I know what good apples look like, but what shows up on my trees isn’t that. But if scrawny, infested or shriveled was the standard, then I would consider myself successful every year.

If qualities like attendance, giving, or volunteering are going to be used as the sign of good fruit, your approach will take on a certain method, looking much like the existing plan of the Church As We Know It. But if you want to see greater faith, more genuine love, and an empowered, hopeful demonstration, then worrying about how often you need to get together will take a back seat in lieu of leading and inspiring these ideals.

Future Pastor, we need to examine and see if the Current Orchard is producing the right type of fruit. Once we deal with that, we can start figuring out methods and procedures.

Trends or the Blowing of the Wind?

2008-09-14T15:34:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things for a leader to discern is the difference between the development of a trend and a the moving of the Spirit.

When I was in student ministry, we were constantly trying to reinvent ourselves in an attempt to stay ahead of the ever changing curve of the student population. I was directly involved in it for 18 years and saw a significant shift during those times.

Smaller to Larger

I watched the explosion of mega campus groups, primarily in the south, but in places like Waco and College Station emerged a much sought after phenomenon. It started from something called a “bible study,” usually a handful of students and a leader seeking to be used to reach their campus, and in a short time it transforms into a weekly gathering of thousands. God is given credit for an amazing outpouring.

The Worship Band

When I started at the University of Nebraska, worship bands were unheard of. Ours was the first that emerged. Being a frontrunner gave me several opportunities to speak out about the role that worship would play in transforming our campuses. Within a few years, it was the exception for any fellowship to not have some type of band, regardless of how small. What would have been sufficient for an acoustic guitar now demanded that plus drums, bass and a sound system. All for 20 kids.

The Kurt Cobain effect

His death, from my perspective, ushered in a season of angst where it became vogue to project little hope. To be positive was to be shallow. To not live in a constant state of questioning meant you weren’t authentic. Candles and couches snuck in during this season. We wanted to be closer to God this way.

Larger to Smaller

Toward the end of my tenure, the glory from the larger groups seemed to fade. Like Moses' diminishing glow beneath the veil, something was changing, and we weren’t really sure why. Do we blame it on God or the generation?

In each of these expressions, I look back and ask myself if I was following and forming a sociological trend, or if I was really in touch with the Spirit of God and what He desired for us. Answer: I may never know.

I see a similar wave building, and look on it differently now as an outsider and not as one shrouded by his culture he has helped create. It is the Inward to Outward display. I predict the next wave is going to move away from the inward, contemplative worship and teaching expression to a more outward focus of social issues and ministry. Could the next “worship band” be the ministry who has the best trips to help Hurricane Ike victims or the coolest soup kitchen outreach?

I don’t mean to sound cynical, but as a watchman I want to recognize what lies in the outer reaches of the landscape. If I am to awaken others to respond to what I see, I don’t want to be guilty of crying “wolf.”

Politics and Religion

2008-09-01T16:59:00.000-07:00

I try to keep my political opinions to myself and keep them out of this blog. Religion is enough to think and worry about for me right now. I can’t imagine trying to do justice to both.

I know many families have the general rule, when they get together, of no talk of either politics or religion. They both cause the same trouble and lead to the same arguments. It’s because religion and politics don’t mix very well. Just ask Cameron Strang, editor of Relevant Magazine. Who would have thought that being invited to say a prayer at this year’s DNC would cause such a ruckus? It’s a prayer, crying out loud.

I have to admit that when I saw Rick Warren throw himself into the political arena by hosting a debate at his church, I was a bit worried that he might yet become another evangelical leader seduced by the power that politics provides. The only reason he got the opportunity to do that was because he has power in the religious arena. Selling millions of books gets you noticed.

I’m not saying people of faith shouldn’t be involved politically. All I ask and hope for is that they don’t make the same mistakes in politics as has happened in the Church As We Know It.

People on the Right, or the Left or In The Church have this in common; they have the tendency to act as if their worldview is iron clad and has no holes.

You will never hear James Carville, Sean Hannity and The Bible Answer Man allude to any kind of doubt or question or uncertainty with whatever position they are defending.

I just wish for once, in the midst of all the hype and spin, that I could hear some honest struggle. Tension exists between the Left and Right, but seldom can we talk about the tension within.

It always bugged me as a young man of growing faith that I could never get an answer from a person in clergical authority that was not in the form of chapter and verse defenses. I would walk away feeling I was wrong and he was right, and there wasn’t much I could do about it.

I guess I carry that same suspicion into this election season. I seldom find people on either side politically who are fully committed to their cause that can tell me anything they are concerned about in their own position.

Future Pastor, as you feel the need to become more politically active, don’t be quick to proclaim certainty without humility. State your beliefs, and do so with an awareness that your position will always be held in tension with others around you. Be gracious to those who misunderstand you. It’s more important to love well than to be right.

Bible-on-a-Stick

2008-08-26T18:29:00.001-07:00

What is it about the State Fair that seems to attract a need to put any kind of food imaginable on a stick? I ashamedly admit that my daughter and I sampled several on-a-stick foods last night. Let’s see, we had pizza-on-a-stick, fried twinkie-on-a-stick, frozen chocolate covered banana-on-a-stick, corn dog-on-a-stick, and a fried peach-on-a-stick. Most of it was odd in the mouth, but I figured that since our State Fair is destined for the archives, I should create a memory with my girl before its too late. Not sure exactly what that memory might be, but we logged it anyway.

As we sat on a bench along Main Street, behind the DockDogs showcase and across from the Allis Chalmers farm implement dealer, I watched the Full Gospel Business Men’s little portable trailer with the question stenciled in big, bold letters on three sides, “Are you going to heaven?” Inside it were two elderly gentlemen, probably my dad’s age, not doing much other than sitting. Below the painted question was the sentence, “Two questions will reveal your fate.”

Maybe it struck me as funny, but there was something freakish about their set up. So much so that I had a mental wrestling match with my conscience about whether I should go over and talk to the two old gents. Now in retrospect I realize I chickened out, but I think I was afraid they might think I was not saved, since I still have an earring and all. But shame on me for judging them, right?

In a way, I wish I was like those guys. In the time that it took to eat a Texas Tater, I saw two people stop by their booth. That’s two more than I would have ever imagined them getting a chance to speak with, but again, there is my judgment getting in the way. They seemed kind enough, smiling in conversation to both parties. Who knows what they talked about. I assume it about going to heaven, since that’s what their booth was all about.

The cool thing is that these old guys are just putting it out there as they see fit. I assume it was their faith that motivated the effort. I bet they believe they are doing the Lord’s work.

What it did was make me miss my dad. I’m not sure he would have manned a booth like that, but he did have faith that was simple,, and I really miss it. I wonder if every generation gets to a point of looking back and realizing that progress hasn’t always gotten us to a better point?

I think I'll scrap my Bible-on-a-stick idea.

Come sit with us

2008-08-15T04:13:00.001-07:00

Enjoyed a serendipitous moment at El Toro last night. Two old friends whom we hadn’t seen in quite some time arrived soon after we were seated. They were able to buck the waiting line and join us. Our conversation sparked my thoughts before sunrise this morning.

Since our relationship with them centered around church attendance, it was no wonder that the conversation eventually ended up there. Add their names to the list of folks who are not quite sure where the Church As We Know It is sailing.

One frustration the wife expressed was how much time is spent on slogging through issues like the role of women in ministry. “Why are we STILL debating this issue?” was her frustrated question. How will this help us really love other people well?

I understand the One Side believes it is a fundamental question that must be theologically rooted and doctrinally sound, but what I think it doesn’t realize is that the Other Side doesn’t really care.

To borrow a term from Thomas Friedman, the world is flattening, and so should the Church As We Know It. Hierarchies are diminishing because we don’t need them as much anymore. Organizational structure is not as necessary as it once was, in large part because you and I possess the tools powerful enough to arrange and communicate with as many people as we need.

If the Church As We Know It stays caught in this eddy of orchestration, the rest of the culture will float on by and it won’t wait for Her to catch up. In Her attempts at remaining doctrinally pure, She is becoming irrelevant to the very people She thinks She needs to help. Little does She know that they have a lot to teach Her.

The Wise Man once wrote that it is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. Tension will always exist between two seemingly opposite issues, but the Church As We Know It needs to tighten up the slack a little bit.

Does prayer work?

2008-08-12T05:56:00.000-07:00

I approach this question differently now than I would have before. When I was in the business of dispensing religious goods and services, I would have taken a defensive stance that had no doubt been influenced by a Western, scientific point of view. I walk a different path now.

Asking if something works, one needs to be aware if the presuppositions are coming from a mechanical bias. Similar to purchasing a car, the buyer wants to know if all the features do what they are supposed to do. Does the engine run? Does the AC cool? Will the transmission shift? All these questions are fair and reasonable.

But a relationship with an automobile is different than one with a living, dynamic, organic being. And I believe we have melded the two ideas together so that there is no division any more.

Our culture has blurred our distinctions of mechanism and relationship. Marriage is a prime example. The current version not cutting it for you? Trade the old partner in for a new sportier model. Take the shiny one out for a sex drive and put it through all the gears. I don’t know; this one’s just not working for me.

What person wants to be treated that way? Certainly not the one to which I am married.

Relationships are not products to be purchased or commodities to be exchanged. I don’t buy low and sell high. The same rules do not apply

So if I want to know if prayer works, I need to first honestly determine whether or not I am buying it as a product. If the merchandise of prayer is not getting me what I want, I should be allowed to trade it in or take it back for a refund, shouldn’t I? According to that line of logic, I say absolutely. But this is where one must take account of a fundamental paradigm.

Our quest for answers and resolution has jeopardized our ability to adequately understand the Divine. God as a Person will be comprehended differently than God as a Brand.

Ezekiel 7:10

2008-08-08T04:19:00.000-07:00

When someone reads my story, I always find myself wondering if it will be seen as anything other than that.

If you read my blog regularly, you know that I am in the process of reinventing myself. Among the biggest adjustments I’ve made in the last three years, changing careers and changing what I think about church are the most predominant. I often wonder if my writing is seen as assumption that everyone should do as I have done and quit church and start a business.

Only if you feel you have to.

I don’t recommend any kind of personal change unless there is a deep sense that you should. Don’t try and answer questions that you feel no need to ask. Don’t assume that what I have gone through is what you need to do also

I made these changes because I couldn’t sleep at night. I took the risk because I felt Boredom rake itself through my soul like fingernails on a chalkboard. I didn’t do this because I read that it’s the next trend in reaching pre-ex-postmoderns. I did it because I wanted to thrive, not just survive.

I did it because being faithful no longer meant doing the same thing and just keep plodding along. The Sameness drained me of faith instead of having the opposite effect. My heritage put a high value on being consistent. This is a fine quality, but where is it supposed to take me?

One motive in being consistent in my faith practices was to look like the other guy, but it came at the expense of being myself. I am getting this back once again, and I am liking what I see.

In my effort to be like the other guy, I memorized gazillions of Bible verses that I could quote at the drop of a hat. Many were obscure, strange little passages that made me look smart. Let it be known that I don’t discount that practice. It’s just that it came at a time in my life that I used it for something a little less noble than what it appeared.

One of those thoughts that I memorized years ago still sticks with me. It’s a story about Peter bitching to Jesus about his buddy John. Peter was probably like me, craving attention and needing to be seen by the Lord as someone who is worthwhile. Jesus described Peter’s fate in not-so glowing terms, which got him a little ticked. Peter pointed the finger to John and wanted to know from Jesus what would happen to him, too.

This is where I would revert to word-for-word recitation of the passage for fear of getting it wrong and thereby being passed over for the next round of promotions. But my faith rests in the Author, not the Recital. This has made all the difference in the world in my absorption of the Idea.

Jesus told Peter to not worry about the other guy. His outcome is going to be different than yours, not because I like him better or because you are thick headed and need to suffer more grief. No, his life will not be the same because fairness isn’t the point. Doling out the same goods to every person on earth is not going to matter. What matters is the faith you possess and do you express it in love.

In Remembrance

2008-08-01T04:12:00.001-07:00

I've made some bad decisions in life, and depending on their degree of severity, the impact of those choices linger long after the action is complete.

But I’ve also made a few good decisions along the way, ones that I don’t regret, but am glad I did so. One is buying my wife a dog for Valentine’s Day. Even though I should have done it years ago, it was a great move. I think I may be nominated for Husband of the Year.

Seriously, this time of year reminds me that I did the right thing about three years ago as my dad was in the hospital recovering from surgery to repair the damage sustain to his hip due to a fall. Since dad had difficulty hearing, I decided to write him a letter of thanks, expressing appreciation for how he lived his life and the example he set for me. Writing allows me to craft words into a message, and I wanted him to know how proud I am being his son.

Little did I know, those would be the last words I would ever get to communicate to him. He passed away a very short time later, due to complications from the surgery. When we arrived soon after his passing, I saw the letter next to his bed. Mom told me about reading it to him. I was so glad I took the time to say what I did.

I’ve decided to print the letter here, as much as a reminder to me to act on those little promptings I get once in a while. Many of you knew my dad and you know what he was like. He was what some refer to as a “hinge generation.” He refused to pass on the family traits that were given to him by his father. Though he was yelled at as a boy, he never treated me that way. Growing up poor, he never wanted me to go without, but neither did he give me everything I wanted. He is a man that grows larger in my eyes with each passing year of his death.

Funny how I remember this, but my very first thought when I knew he was gone was that he would never see my restaurant. I would never be able to slide a pint across the bar and watch him be proud. It’s been almost three years now, and while I don’t have that opportunity, I do have the letter, and I think the latter is the more important one.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Dear Dad,

I wasn’t sure when I would be able to talk with you on the phone, but I figured I might be able to better express some things in words on paper than in voice. I am so sorry you broke your leg and are holed up in the hospital. It sounds like you have a good amount of support around you, and for that I am very thankful.

I just wanted to say how proud I am that you are my Dad. Of all the things I have learned from you over the years, the fact that you are not a bitter man is of high importance to me. Karen was imagining you saying after the fall, “Gee, I wish I hadn’t done that.” She, too, has watched your response to life’s ups and downs with grace and style.

Often friends of yours will comment to me about what a great spirit you have within you. They tell me how positive you are, how you always have a kind word to say and a gentle graciousness in your demeanor. I smile with pride as they tell me these things, knowing it could be different, but you have chosen not to let the harshness of life affect you. I remember watching Ray over the years become colder. You have not done that. That is a wonderful gift, more than you know.

I know the days ahead may be uncertain, but I stand with you and what needs to be done. However we can help, we will. Whatever decision needs to be made, so be it. That’s another lesson you and Mom have taught me. Complaining won’t change things, but the right attitude will.

My prayers for you include a regular request that the Heavenly Father’s presence would be very near to you. I know He is proud of you, your life and contribution you have made as a result of your faith. I have aimed high as a result. Hope you get well soon.

Love,

Kevin

Runnin down a dream

2008-07-21T17:49:00.000-07:00

"Yeah runnin' down a dream That never would come to me Workin' on a mystery, goin' wherever it leads I'm runnin' down a dream"

I was singing these and other familiar lyrics last night with 15,999 of my closest friends as Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, armed with their six stringed axes, held the crowd hostage from the stage and transported all of us back to 1979.

I love rock and roll.

It was the riffs of Tommy Shaw and Joe Satriani that did it for me. Still to this day, when Blue Collar Man comes on the radio, I always have to bump the volume a few ticks, regardless of who is in the car.

Music was the first dream I really seriously pondered doing. Those sounds the artist could generate from the instrument were the same ones in my head. I thought it must be an incredible satisfaction to have the ability to deliver the song from mental concept to aural reality.

So I took a stab at it. In college I bought a guitar and started learning to play.

Growing up in the community of faith that I did, there wasn’t a high value placed on any kind of technical virtuosity, as it was seen as a distraction from a focus on God by drawing attention to the performer. Musicians I knew, myself included, carried a confliction of guilt, which influenced our attitude toward getting better. If there was no place to perform well in the Church As We Know It, why work at improving?

So I had to allow other artists to do that for me and this is what I recognized at last night’s show.

Steve Winwood started the ball rolling with his rhythm and blues style of tunes. Several times I closed my eyes and envisioned myself playing what I was hearing. My guitar was in his hands and he was playing it for me.

Then Petty and company take the stage, bigger than life. In an instant, I was 17 again and had the chance to make a different decision about music. There was no guilt, no worry about whether or not it was about God or musician. All that was lost as all of us in the arena transcended the ordinary via the extraordinary sound generated by these qualified players.

I often wonder how my life would look different if I hadn’t had that yoke placed on my neck. Would I be a musician instead of a restaurateur? I know it’s a moot point, but I can’t help it. So instead I have to allow others to play the music for me, and who knows, maybe its arrogant of me to think that I could have been that good.

But it’s a hard question not to ask.

Would Jesus drink Coke or Pepsi?

2008-07-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

It was great to see two college friends, Jeff and Tena, as they stopped in on their way to Minnesota. It seems however and whenever you meet people, if it occurs at the heart level, it’s always easy to pick up where you left off. Such was the case in our visit yesterday.

We talked about our jobs, kids, and the increasingly visited subject as you age; health. But eventually the topic came to our career change, and we dove down from there.

“How did you do it?” “How did you know?” “How long did it take to get going?” “Where did you start?” The questions all had the same theme.

That theme is faith.

I recalled to them the day I realized I was telling 15 year old stories to my students. There was nothing fresh, nothing current, and nothing that indicated my faith was growing. I was only maintaining it, and not doing a very good job at that. This is how I knew something needed to change.

People in my tradition refer to having a “calling” to describe how they got into their vocational path. I know many who go back to a childhood experience and believed God told them to be a missionary, and they are living that out to this day. I don’t discount this kind of encounter. Sometime I wish mine were so certain.

There was a time when the WWJD (What would Jesus do) idea was in vogue. The assumption was that if Jesus were in my shoes, he would do things differently than I would normally do, and the challenge lay in determining what choices he would make.

There seemed to be a problem with the WWJD scheme. The situations were mostly moral in nature. What would Jesus do? He wouldn’t not go to church or be late to work or cheat on his homework. He wouldn’t steal or look at porn or feel up his girlfriend. Nor would he go 60 in a 55 or, depending on your denomination, drink caffeine or eat red meat.

If Jesus lived to be 45 instead of 33, what would he do to combat midlife crisis?

Changing the career direction of my life was not some kind of act of moral obedience to a divine command. It seems a whole lot more ordinary than that. It wasn’t so much about trying to figure out what Jesus would do if he was me, but more like him asking me what would I do.

I can’t picture Jesus owning a restaurant, but I do believe he is interested in my faith being alive.

Is everything as you expected?

2008-07-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

It seems like I am having epiphanies on a regular basis as of late. Maybe epiphany is a too strong a word. Realization might be more apt. This would make sense if you understood how different my life is now than just a short time ago.

In my years as a pastor on the university campus, I always carried this stigma of feeling like a ginsu knife salesman. Sure I was free to be there with my wares, but did anyone really want what I was selling? I never really felt a part of the community as a whole. Even though administrators might give lip service to the value of religious groups, I always got the feeling that our presence was obligatory at best.

I’ve flogged myself with the bible passage about being in the world but not of it whenever I confronted this feeling of disconnect and assumed I was supposed to revel in my lack of being accepted by folks with whom I interacted. This world is not our home after all and we should be glad that we feel rejected.

But I was never good at this disparity in my vocation as ministry. On the one hand I had the need to feel good about my work and yet on the other I knew my significance should rest in something deeper than that. I never knew how much this affected my self esteem while I was in the midst of it, but now that my day to day life is just the opposite, the contrast is startling.

Now I get to meet people everyday who have somehow heard about my work and come to find me. I don’t have to get up in the morning wondering if I will have a place to meet and gather in or be in threat of being shut down because I am too loud or because we were double booked with another preferable group. No, I have a little spot out of which I get a deep sense of satisfaction, not unlike some of the best days in campus ministry.

I guess what I am saying is that I love what I do today as much as I loved the best parts about collegiate ministry. Some might look at me and think the two are somehow different. It might appear that I have fallen in love with the things of this world and have taken my hand from the proverbial plough. Could I be guilty of giving up eternal for temporal ones by giving up the guitar and taking up the chef knife?

Maybe its not you I’m cooking for.

Let me ask you two questions...

2008-07-11T03:52:00.000-07:00

I spent many years in the university community and would always come across the perennial discussions of faith and belief, and even this morning as I was looking at a bulletin board at a campus coffee house, there again was another flyer announcing a meeting to discuss the accuracy of the Bible and the textual errancy that exists and the problems that it creates and so on. But I find there is always something missing in these kinds of debates.

The Bible refers to our having a mind, soul and body, interpreted by many as being a kind of Trinity to man’s existence. I have no problem with that kind of categorization. Where my problem comes in is when you try and split those apart and consider them as separate entities, independent of one another.

Arguments about the Bible are almost always intellectual, and we cite all the rational reasons why we should believe one way or another, but we do so without consideration to our whole being. We are not just walking brains. We are living, breathing stories of humanity. This is why I do not make a good Evangelical.

One of my favorite encounters as a campus pastor was about a two month stretch of interacting with folks from the Campus Free Thought Society, formerly known as the Campus Atheists, but they changed their name since they felt that was too restricting. I’m not sure how the initial meeting was initiated, but one evening several of their group and a few of my friends met at a coffee house to discuss our points of view.

There must have been 15 of us, all packed tightly in a circle so as to hear each other over the din. There was the usual bit of chit chat at the onset, but when it started to get a little awkward as everyone became aware that no one was in charge of moving the discussion forward, I decided to jump in.

My first question seemed to surprise everyone, because it was not aimed at finding out our differences. Instead, I asked the group to cite any church or religious experience they may have had growing up.

That’s all it took to get the party started.

To my surprise, everyone had something to say, and further, everyone had something heartbreaking to tell. Stories of abuse, neglect, disillusionment, abandonment, all from parents or church people. People who should have been trustworthy were not, and the results were sitting in a circle clutching coffee mugs.

This scene is one example why I was always uncomfortable with my Evangelical heritage. I hated to argue and defend a point. Intellectual arguments act as shields behind which we hide and toss spears of attack. I couldn’t put a finger on it at the time, but I see now what I am more comfortable with is finding out what you and I have in common over how you and I differ in belief. Commonality in our stories lead to trust, which is something these young people in the circle had very little of.

Play that saxaphone, man, play it!

2008-07-10T06:01:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the Evangelical tradition. By virtue of that fact, I have little bits of hardwiring in my brain that have been operating accordingly. It might be like a programmer trying to figure out why the computer is running a bit sluggish, only to discover that there are a few lines of FORTRAN code trying to communicate to the rest of the current operating system. The programmer is not sure how to delete or translate those lines, nor is sure he should. Right now, he is more consumed with finding out how that code got in its place. The bigger my world gets, the smaller my previous beliefs seems. And those beliefs will always be with me regardless. I can ignore them, but I can’t discard or trade them in, no matter how hard I try. My evangelical tradition taught me to be certain. We were right and everyone else was wrong. And it was our job as evangelicals to proclaim that truth at every opportunity. Why else would we be labeled “evangelical?” Evangelism was the centerpiece of party. My problem was, I just was never good at it. There was never any room for doubt. I remember one famous Oklahoma preacher who was known for his sermon on “The Wheat and the Tares.” I probably heard it a half a dozen times at camps or some kind of revival meeting. His text was taken from the words of Jesus comparing believers and non with the mixing of wheat-looking weeds growing among wheat stalks in a field. His main point was that you may look like one, but that doesn’t mean you really are one, and one way of knowing if you aren’t one is if you doubt all the time, so come down front, pray this prayer and be sure today that you are going to heaven. That pretty much sums up my Evangelical faith experience. Are you wheat or are you not? Have you prayed the prayer or have you not? Are you in or are you out? I’m now embracing that there is a whole lot more. I don’t want to be guilty of what I see in the stories of others who are coming to similar crossroads. Seems the common response is to scrap the whole thing in exchange for something a little more harmonious. But instead, I want to hang on to the tension that this past creates in me. As a musician, I know there is no music without tension. Without the force between the peg and the bridge, the guitar string lies flat. But crank the knob a few turns and the wire starts to move toward something that sounds in tune. John Coltrane was master of creating and manipulating tension in jazz, and as a result became a polarizing force among music critics and fans in the sixties. One man’s brilliance was another man’s cacophony. I fell into the later category when I first stumbled upon his music. Yet the more I understood what he was doing, the easier I could find the pleasure in the sounds of his saxophone. I would be embarrassed to try and describe how I feel as I listen and absorb his signature album, A Love Supreme. For me there exists a similar tension in the themes of Scripture, and I am currently trying to pluck the notes between heaven and hell, between free will and predestination, of Liberal and Conservative, of Evangelicalism and the rest of the world. Thanks for your encouragement to keep writing.

Out of the Woods

2008-07-08T04:27:00.000-07:00

I feel as if I am running out of things to say on this blog, which may be an indication that my original intent has reached its end. I wrote to chronicle my transition away from a being a pastor as my vocation, into seeing if I can become one that serves the same function, only without getting paid to do so.

It has been three years now since I made the shift and I can safely say that I am out of the transition. It’s kind of like when I decided to cooperate with my genes and shave my head. It took I would guess six months before I could look in the mirror and not do a double take. But over time, the drastic change became normal and now to look at old pictures of me with hair seems nostalgic.

So much in my life has changed, and I could fill several pages detailing the difference, but instead I write this morning about what has stayed the same. It is this one thing that has been with me over 27 years. I remember it well.

It was fall of 1980 and I was leaving the locker room of my high school, otherwise known as The Swamp, when a random comment spoken by a fellow teammate acted like a virus infecting my brain, “You better get your shit together with God” he said. From that point on I could almost hear the virus growing.

That one statement started me thinking about God and his place in my life. It was usually when I was alone, mostly late at night, lying in bed, that an awareness of God started to form. It was something I could not shake or run from. It was always there.

I eventually acted on the prompting and decided to take it seriously. That was in June of 1981. It altered the course of my entire life.

I was no longer resisting that quiet voice. I was now able to listen. And this is the constant that is still with me as I reach into the midpoint of my forties.

What I have found in this three years is that much of my spiritual identity was formed by external factors and not that still, quiet voice. In my early development, it was the spiritual practices or disciplines that defined me. Eventually, it was my community of faith and the security it provided. Soon I was engulfed by an entire culture and never even realized it.

Now, as I have separated myself from all those actions and activities, I get back to that one simple persistent beacon. Oddly enough, it has not been easy. It was easier to trust my place in the Church As I Knew It, and all my duties and obligations, than my position now.

Maybe this is the topic of the next series of writings.

Forty Five

2008-06-27T04:16:00.000-07:00

They say you are only as old as you feel, and I do feel older these days as the joints creak a little more and the legs seem stiffer after sitting for a long period of time. But I still have a hard time thinking of myself as forty five. There seems to be this ideal age in my mind that exists somewhere back between 25 and 35 and that’s where I assume I live. One betrayer that reminds me I’m not that young is old photos. I have never thought of myself as skinny, but who was that thin kid in those pictures from 25 years ago? But this isn’t a moaning session. It struck me a few days ago as I watch younger kids at the mall why I’m glad I’m not walking in their shoes any longer. I’m not sure who to accurately cite on this quotation, but some noted woman once said she would rather have her 50 year old mind than your 21 year old body. And today I concur with that. Age allows a certain surrender and acceptance of reality that is no longer elusive; it is downright impossible. I realized 15 years ago that I didn’t need hair to feel good about myself, and since my genes were helping me out with that discovery, I gave in and shaved it all off. The time saved, the ease of getting ready in the morning, the twenty bucks spent on the trimmer I still use, I’d say that was a pretty good trade. I have to admit that the transition was made easier once I saw that I have a BlueMan quality melon, and seeing Andre Agassi showing up at Wimbledon with a buzz cut. I don’t need tanned skin any longer, which is a good thing since I go straight from pale to red in a high humidity. In my twenties I tried bucking the system and tried out a tanning bed at the YMCA I worked at. I think I still see the damage from that foolish stunt. I don’t need a six-pack, like so many advertisers tell me. I have one hidden behind the twenty extra pounds I carry. Since I know its there, why do I need to show it off to you? That wouldn’t be prudent. No, what I have found as I get older is that I need less that is physical and more that is immaterial. As the body digresses, the aging process aids me in this realization. All the years I spent worrying about how I looked were lost to being concerned with how I lived and how well I loved others. Accepting the inevitability of this physical decline can make way for a whole new outlook on life and a freedom to enjoy it. I’m starting to see more why my dad could tell me, “Son, these are my best days.” Even while oxygen assisted his breathing and even though his body was soon to resign from its duties, he had calmness in his spirit and contentment in his demeanor. He knew what was really important. All else was superfluous.

Are you like me?

2008-06-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

Future Pastor, the more you understand the basic needs people have, the more patient you will be when they behave out of sorts. Remember that folks aren’t so much stupid as they are short sighted. Since every behavior has a goal attached to it, it would do you well to know what that goal might be.

Consider this: I think we all have two basic questions needing answers as we enter into any kind of community. We want to know if this group is made up of people who are LIKE me and secondly, we want to know if they are FOR me.

If you are inviting people into community, into sharing life more closely, new people want to know if they have anything in common with the others they are meeting. It shouldn’t take long in basic conversation to find whether or not you have something to talk about. You know how painful it is when two or more people have nothing to say to each other.

So why does someone like that stick around? Why does the weirdo keep coming back to hang out with you and your people? It might be due to the second question. If could be that he senses that you are for him.

It’s not enough to have something in common with others, which makes relationships much easier to enjoy and maintain. No, you and I need to feel that others have our back, and that regardless of what happens, these friends won’t leave us when the going gets tough.

I find this thought in the Genesis story of Adam’s life before Eve. The account says that he was created after the animals, and was given the task of giving names to every creature that he sees. This is pure speculation, but where my mind goes in reading this is to wonder what Adam must have thought after assigning a label to the 9000^th beast. I put in his head, “There is no creature here that is LIKE me. Lion, tiger, and giraffe aren’t like me. Neither is the elephant or the parrot. This monkey, kinda maybe, but nothing here like me.”

As the story goes, along comes Eve. After his experience with the all other species, if I were Adam, I’d be thinking, “Finally, here is one LIKE me! Here is one in which I am in common. This is one who walks like I do, talks like I do...”

And soon later, the pair not only find that they have that mutual connection, but they have the opportunity for be FOR one another A partner and mate with which each can be naked and not ashamed.

I believe herein lies the answer to enduring community. We are all on a search for people who will stand with us and not leave us, who will support, encourage and always be there for us. Having something in common is secondary to knowing that we have a place and that we belong.

Future Pastor, people are looking to you, asking of the Church of the Future, “Is there anyone here LIKE me?” and more importantly, “Is anyone here FOR me?”

I wouldn't do it that way

2008-06-17T19:12:00.001-07:00

I’ve felt the need to reflect on my criticism of the Church As We Know It since it is the target of many of my blog entries lately. I want to know if I am guilty of the very things I am trying to point out. What prompted this reflection have been the conversations I’ve followed over the release of the recent Willow Creek study, REVEAL, which as I understand is a long, hard look at their own way of doing church.

My first exposure to WC was around 1994 when I went to one of their church leadership conferences. Many of us caught the virus then and returned home with it and as a result, unknowingly infected everything we touched. Worship services were overhauled. Print material was tweaked. All of a sudden stage lighting found a place in the budget. Even the clothing people wore on stage seemed to matter. It all made perfect sense back then.

Willow later implemented the Leadership Summit, of which I attended several. They always carried a spirit of quality and thoughtfulness. Each year Bill Hybels would devote an entire session to sharing leadership lessons, both successes and failures that their team has learned. It always seemed authentic even though later I knew I would never be trying to take the Church As We Know It in the direction they were going.

We are losing what we could call a “common narrative” these days. There is less and less that we in the West seem to agree upon. We are united around very little. Tom Brokaw calls the WWII generation “The Greatest Generation” because there was a common thread that wove them together. Adversity seems to do that to people (remember what it felt like after 9/11?) But with prosperity comes disillusionment, and that is nowhere more clear than in The Church As We Know It.

When our plans succeed, we may find that we never really knew what it was for which we were hoping. Willow succeeded, so to speak, and now seems to be reassessing what it is they are after. I credit them for that, even though their answers may not be mine. I am united with them in something bigger than method or practice. Faith holds a higher calling.

Every now and then, as my business grows and develops, I have to come back to this short song by the White Stripes, Little Room, and remind myself what in the world I’m doing when success comes my way.

Well you're in your little room and you're working on something good but if it's really good you're gonna need a bigger room and when you're in the bigger room you might not know what to do you might have to think of how you got started in your little room

Thank you, Dad

2008-06-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

Sipping coffee out under the patio and enjoying the pleasant sound and smell of rain at dawn, I remembered today is Father's Day. I had an impulse to call my dad and wish him well, but in a similar way a phantom pain strikes an amputee, I knew I would not have that joy since Dad has since passed on nearly three years now. I've repeated it many times, and posted it here a few, but good stories can be retold over again, and I do so once more today. I feel that sharing it is a way I can tell my dad thanks for the life that he lived and the impact he had on me. ------------------------------------------ It took a while, as it does for most youth, to realize that the vistas of the world I was seeing was a direct result of the shoulders I was standing on. I thought in order to matter in the world, you had to go out and conquer it. But what I have learned from my dad, the man named Jack Shinn, I now believe that it’s just the opposite. You make a difference by simply letting the world come to you, and then offering blessing to each and every person that comes your way. From time to time, I would make it back to Route 2 Box 162, sometimes bringing university students with me to visit the farm and experience the country life. Without exception, every person I brought there was greeted by my Dad with a hug and a kind word. Sometimes those students would later tell me how much that meant to them. Dad seemed to think that it may be the only hug they got, so he would offer it. It didn’t matter the color of their skin or how long there hair was, they got the same attention. You make a difference by letting the world come to you and offer blessing to each and every person that comes your way. As I got older, this lesson became more and more evident. People would say to me how much they appreciated Dad’s smile or sense of humor or offering a piece of candy. They remarked how positive he always was, how willing he was to help out. In his latter years, he dealt with much physical pain, but you would only know it through the grimace on his face. He never complained about it and never allowed it to rule his spirit. No summary, however, would be complete without the story I have told many, many times. It’s a story that encapsulates his life and what he valued most. It’s a story that happened when I was about 12 years old, but I didn’t hear it until nearly 20 years later. The story takes place at Route 2 Box 162 Bartlesville. With very few kids around my age, I had to learn how to entertain myself. Dad helped that effort by buying me a little Yamaha 80cc Dirt bike. That motorcycle provided me countless hours of fun. With 26 acres to my discretion, one would think that would be plenty of space for a 12 year old boy to ride. But for some reason, I decided to include the front and back lawn in that 26 acres. As you can imagine, motorcycle tires are not kind to growing grass, and it didn’t take long before a nice little path was worn around the front of the house, to the back of the house, then out to the pasture. Round and round I would go, living in my mind the adventure of being a world-champion racer, or being chased by bad guys. This path was pretty unsightly, given that it was visible to everyone that passed on the road out front. One time a neighbor had stopped by to visit and he asked Dad this question. “Jack, how come you let your son tear up the yard like that? Why don’t you make him keep out in the pasture?” Now this was a pretty logical question given the amount of land we owned, but my Dad’s wisdom sometimes defied logic. To know my Dad was to know what a deep reservoir he was. Even though he was a man of few words, he was also a man of countless thoughts and musings. In these past few days, I have read many of those thoughts recorded in the margins of his Bible. I believe what set my Dad apart was his ability to look at his choices and side with that which was of most importance. In other words, he had his priorities right. He responded to the neighbor by saying. “The grass will come back” he said, “but the boy won’t.” Now if you drive by Route 2 Box 162 today, you will see the grass has come back. The boy lives in Lincoln, Nebraska in a home of his own, with two kids of his own. He hopes to be the kind of man Jack Shinn was, a man who hopes that as the world comes to him, that he will offer blessing to each and every person that comes his way. We will miss you, Dad

Bow your head and repeat after me...

2008-06-01T05:05:00.000-07:00

My friend Leslie was telling me this week how he liked to find hot button issues with people and purposefully push them, just because he liked to see their response. He confessed that he tries not to do that any longer, but that the temptation is still there.

It’s like setting a trap for an animal out in the open light. You don’t even have to disguise it or be subtle. Just ask a question about politics, the environment or religion and watch him fall into the hole. 10 minutes later, the person has worked himself into a fury and all you did was make an inquiry.

I admit I like doing that too. Granted, it is a prideful tendency to exert that kind of conversational control, but it is a heck of a lot of fun and you can just ask forgiveness later if you feel guilty enough about it.

So, if you are a bad person like Leslie and me, and have someone in mind who is doesn’t listen very well and is evangelically oriented, try this one next time,

"How did people find faith before the advent of the sinner’s prayer?”

This is good bait to draw out all kinds of presuppositions and reveal layers of dependence on tradition and practice that the Church As We Know It has relied upon that is not rooted in faith.

The Fear of Happiness

2008-05-25T05:04:00.000-07:00

May is such a permissive month, just by virtue of her name. After a long season of winter, May is the first opportunity, day or night, that being comfortably outdoors is an option. May nights are the best, especially in a full moon, since the soft glowing orb sits low in the southern horizon here in my state. May brings more blue flowers than any other. Pulmonaria, catmint and a blue salvia appropriately called “May Night” all give the garden a soothing effect. Working so many hours in the restaurant, it can be easy to overlook the fleeting gifts like these. So to avoid that, I have purposed to take a few minutes each day to be more observant and lie in my hammock. Strung up between the 30yr old ash tree and the ever-growing-obsolete playfort, I kick off my kitchen clogs and stretch out. And most days, I fall asleep immediately. After only a few days of this practice, I discovered an anxiety creeping into my thoughts. Where would this be coming from? Our business is going very well. The garden is responding as it should to slow rising temperatures and occasional rains. The southern breeze felt as if God himself were sending it just for my pleasure and to cap it off, no artist could mimic the simple contrast of blue and white in the sky. Why so anxious? Everything around me at that moment was fragile. Prosperity, seasonal beauty, and a settled soul. These conditions could turn on a dime. Our business could get sued or a tornado could come through and wipe out our little urban oasis. I, or anyone I love, could get sick or worse, in an accident. Nothing I hold is very secure. Could it be that I am more comfortable being depressed than happy? I don’t want to be disappointed, nor do I want to be hurt, so I opt for a vantage point closer to the bottom of the canyon instead of ever working to climb higher to get a better view. This way, if the rock slide comes, I won’t be swept away from my desire to enjoy something more beautiful. I’ll still find myself at the same low place. I just won’t be as disappointed. Beth Orton sums up the logic of the fear of happiness in this line. “If I never saw the sunshine, I wouldn’t mind the rain.” Fear not. Hope you have a great Memorial Day Weekend.

The Business of Church

2008-05-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

Maria caught my intention in her comment on the last entry. My five questions were meant to reveal how we have adopted, as she worded it, an attractional model of church. Marketing has become such an ingrained aspect of our culture that it is difficult to imagine doing any new venture without it.

The Church as We Know It has probably formed more of its ideas about doing church from the business world than it has from the Bible, although most of its leaders would probably deny it. Take it down to core questions like, “How will people find us?” reveal more of a product mentality than a spiritual one. But websites and logos are plastered all over our clothing, our food, our transportation and entertainment, they are hard to ignore, and ever harder to imagine life without them.

Even the boys over at ChurchMarketingSucks are using the same marketing tools they loathe to promote their own deal. We hate the church marketing itself, but we don’t mind you putting an ad and logo to promote what we are doing on your website. Future Pastor, this is not new thinking. It’s more sofas and candles and Starbucks coffee in the foyer.

We started a restaurant about nine months ago; we did so without an ad campaign. The newspaper folks found us, the direct marketers came calling, the “creative ad teams” stopped in, all with their schpeal about how important it is to get your name out there right away. According to them, we had a crucial window of time that may get away from us if we weren’t careful.

But we were convinced that if we did our job well, which was to give people food that they really enjoyed and not just settled for, then the customer would take the place of an expensive ad in the Friday dining section. So far that had stood true.

Future Pastor, this advice might sound like a dangerous proposition, but give people a church they want. You and I have been told that church is not about what people want, but about what they need. I believe they are one in the same.

The Gospel is supposed to offer peace. Will the Future Church do the same?

The Gospel is not burdensome, but will the Church of the Future make it so?

The Gospel is good news, and good news usually travels fast. Will your church impede it?

Give people the real deal, Future Pastor, and you won’t need to even worry about a cool logo.

So you want a revolution?

2008-05-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

It’s extremely hard to try and communicate to people what the Church of the Future will look like, since in most part it is still in the future. Usually what you come up with in conversation about new models are nothing more than a former model with candles and sofas.

If you are serious about revolution, you need to get serious about getting back to a fundamental essence of what church should be about. We are trapped by our familiarity and it will take more than a conference on how create cool postmodern churches to break us free.

Many of us are in agreement that the Church is not about a building. We got over that one about 25 or so years ago as the new wave of congregations started meeting in schools and even a few gigs way out on the edge met in clubs or bars. So lets keep pushing the envelope.

As you think about the kind of Future Church you want to be, ask yourself these questions:

Can it exist without a website?
Can people know who we are without a logo?
Can it grow without a billboard or some kind of signage?
Can people find us without a phone number?
Can we be effective without printed material?

Future Pastor, I’ll expound on these later, but first I’d like to know what you think.

Stories without numbers

2008-05-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

I remember reading a book several years ago in my other life about how to free yourself from the seduction of success in vocational ministry. It was no different than most every other person I’ve heard giving advice to guys in midlife pastoral crisis. “Don’t focus on numerical statistics.” “God is more concerned with the inward, not the outward.” “Stay faithful.” And so on…

But despite knowing all the right answers, ask any pastor, any one you choose about how his or her church is doing and you will get the same kind of answer, something along these lines:

“We had over 100 for the first time…”

“We have added 40 new families this year”

“50 people prayed to receive Christ…”

No matter how hard you try, numbers are hard to get away from when communicating anything about the condition of the Church As We Know It.

Is there anything wrong with this? Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not sure, but Future Pastor, I would like to issue you a thought to consider. Can you take a different approach?

Next time someone asks you about your church, tell stories without numbers attached. Resist the temptation to define what you do with statistics. Watch how difficult this is to do.

It’s difficult because 99 times out of 100 the person asking the question wants to know how many you have attending. It’s the only point of reference we are accustomed to giving, and the only one we are accustomed to hearing.

Is that what they're calling it now?

2008-05-04T05:05:00.000-07:00

I can always tell when my first generation Greek neighbors are arguing. Their tone is elevated, their speech more rapid, and they always speak in Greek. To do so requires less thought. It comes naturally.

Greek is the language of their heart.

Language is a funny subject. What are words but symbols to convey meaning? I don’t know how it happens, but over time, (and sometimes right before our very eyes) meaning becomes understood and accepted by the masses and before you know it, you’ve adopted into your vocabulary a new word, or an old one with new meaning,

Take the restaurant Hooter’s, for example. Known for their hot wings, a sports bar theme and female servers that have at least one physical quality in common, our culture has deemed it OK to have a place with a name corresponding to female breasts. We can call the place “Hooter’s” but couldn’t get away with calling it “Titties.”

But who’s to say that in four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten years from now, the word “Titties” won’t have different meaning? This happened with the word “suck.” My first recollection of the use of that word was at basketball games during college. It was usually in conjunction with a referee’s bad call against our team. Some half (or completely) drunk guy would yell, “Hey ref, you suck!” or “That call sucks…” I’m not naïve enough to think that the he was implying a reference to a vacuum cleaner.

But before long, the crowd embraced the phrase and it became a chant across the student section in the arena. One side would yell, “Hey ref….” and the other section of students would return with “…you suck!” Over time, the term became innocuous and nobody really thought about what it meant.

In my other life, I once remember hearing a guy use nearly half a sermon to explain why nothing should ever “suck” to a Christ follower and how all good people need to strike that word as an option. Afterward, nearly every student I talked with asked, “What was that guy’s deal?” He was not tuned into the heart language of his audience, and was applying a law of language that never needed to be enforced.

My point is this; words are what they are because of the meaning WE give to them.

Don’t get hung up on how people talk or the words they use; don’t try and change the way they speak. Don’t have an unwritten glossary of words that are unacceptable and cannot be used. Remember to listen to the heart speak and not just the words. Sometimes to focus only on the words that are being said is the quickest way to misunderstand what a person is trying to say.

Too Small a Thing

2008-04-23T18:31:00.000-07:00

I always look with interest when I see college students trying to pull together all the other Christians on their campus for a combined event, usually involving singing songs and listening to a well noted speaker.

I find it interesting because I devoted much of my energy during my time on campus toward that kind of expression. I was looking for a manifestation of God’s awakening and assumed it would take this form. My paradigm expected to measure spiritual activity by how many people who agreed with each other to come to an event.

Boy was I shortsighted.

How limited I was to think that I would be satisfied if I had a certain number of kids showing up to sing and appear to be really into my gig.

Let’s say in the unlikely event that I had every student who professed faith to come to my meeting held in the largest venue on campus. Play along and envision thousands singing the same songs, raising their hands in unity, swooning over the dynamic talk given by the hip communicator. Do you see it? Have you been to something like this?

What does it prove?

Future Pastor, this is what I mean when I say that it’s too small a thing to expect that attendance means anything in your quest for seeing real awakening and the ushering in of the Church of the Future. We default to this kind of thinking because it is easy to measure for reports and newsletters. Financial supporters and Boards of Directors feel better about their organization when they see lots of people showing up, but don’t be seduced by this. Look for real, authentic change. You will know it when you see it.

Position yourself to be free from numerical expectation put on you by superiors who don’t get it. Wait and watch for the evidence of what genuine awakening really means; men and women who are awake, not just at your meeting. Greet those who look groggy from the slumber of disbelief. Look for those opening their eyes to restored relationships and how to love well. These kinds of people may or may not show up at your meeting, but they will change their world.

Green Pastor

2008-04-13T05:33:00.001-07:00

Future Pastor, beware of the New Morality as you lead toward the Church of the Future. You will recognize it because it has some of the same characteristics of the morality as The Church As We Know It. The “Green Movement” has taken us by storm. Many point to An Inconvenient Truth as the tipping point for the gale of environmental concern, but its origin is not as important to grasp as is its spirit. I’m old enough to remember the long gas lines in the seventies and the Ecology Now stickers we put on our school notebooks. We were taught to conserve and pick up litter along the side of the roads. We were given slogans like, “Don’t mess with Texas” and “Don’t lay that trash on Oklahoma.” Cars were being built small and more fuel efficient as to get 40 to 50 MPG. So the Al Gore thing is not new to me. Neither is the judgment that is easily passed on today by well meaning proponents of a better environment. Not using squiggly light bulbs feels a lot like not having a Quiet Time. The choice to serve coffee in Styrofoam instead of paper can elicit a response similar to not going to church on a regular basis. We will always get this kind of feeling whenever a movement is based in fear and not in love. Remember that we preserve the earth because we love the earth, not because we are afraid it will burn up. We seek renewable energy because we love the next generation and hope to leave it with a better prospect for its future. Fear won’t lead us very far. What happens when you aren’t afraid anymore? Fear got us the Ford Fiesta and the Chevy Chevette, but we once we got over the fear of no more gasoline, we returned to our ways in a few years and got back to the big machines like the Hummer H3. I have squiggly light bulbs in every socket in my house. I recycle glass and aluminum. I compost. I try to consume less and conserve more. But I want to do so in a spirit of abundance and not shame. I don’t shake my finger at the person in the store buying a pack of incandescent bulbs. The Church As We Know It gave us that kind of evangelism. It was more concerned about staying out of hell than it was in living an abundant life. The environmental movement runs the risk of being guilty of the same thing. We can do better.

It's not about me, It's all about You...

2008-04-02T18:49:00.000-07:00

One role we have as Future Pastors is to lead people to freedom. To do this we need to be able to reveal the hindrances in thinking. Ask a churched person the question, “what’s your favorite book?” And nine times out of ten the really spiritual ones will answer with a condition, “Well, of course the Bible, but after that it’s…” Why do we answer that way? I think it has to do with the basic assumptions of the Church As We Know It. We assume that if we don’t say that indeed the Bible is of utmost importance, then we will somehow slip into mediocrity and eventually become an atheist, leave our wife, or worse yet, stop reading the Bible. There are some things that should just be a given. Most normal people you and I know practice some form of hygiene on a regular basis, so it’s the unusual case that we would have to remind a guy to shave and shower. If I have to ask the majority of people I know if they took a bath today, at some point I would wonder what kind of upbringing they had. In the same way it makes sense to me to just assume certain basic things about our faith and let those beliefs rest as the foundation and build from there. But when the Church As We Know It needs songs to constantly remind itself that its not about me and its all about God, it shows that it is operating out of the basic assumption that we don’t know the difference. It’s as if the Church As We Know It is full of people who don’t routinely take a shower and must always be told to do so. Future Pastor, people have been shackled too long with the belief that their greatest desire is to wander away from God. Lead them away from that assumption. Remind them they are a New Creation. And encourage them to write better songs.

When is it right to flip the bird?

2008-03-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

Future Pastor, beware of your perceived need for Law. This will inevitably affect how you approach the Scriptures. As a young man, as I was taught how to read the Bible, I was told to look everyday for a command I wasn’t keeping, or a rule that I was breaking or some other aspect of how I was not measuring up. Since I was new to the game, I felt I should know what the rules were so I could get on God’s good side and not get in trouble. This is basically why we rely on Law. It brings order, provides boundaries, and keeps people safe. Do you feel vindicated when you see some guy speed by you on the interstate at 90 MPH, only to crest the next hill and see him pulled over by the state patrol? If so, you are probably a rule keeper of some kind. I like the fact that the bad guys get punished and the good guys win (usually.) It’s why I feel justified in giving the finger to the guy who runs the red light in front of me. I’m right and he is wrong, and I need to let him know. But Law as we know it is incomplete. It is necessary for society in maintaining peace and order, but gets in the way of faith expressed as Jesus would have it. Rules and authority can easily take the place of love and trust. The reason you signed a legal contract to take out a loan to buy a car is because the bank does not trust you to pay the money back on time. The bank needs a means to protect itself from being taken advantage of. Handshakes won’t cut it. Love does not allow the bank to turn a profit. So is this the reason we have the Bible, because Jesus really doesn’t trust you to walk with him, so He ordained a new set of rules called the New Testament? Is the life of faith to be wrapped up in daily awareness of all the new orders I’m not carrying out? One thing I believe about heaven is that there will be no rules or laws to live by. The old will be passed away, and included in that is the need to be governed out of distrust. Romans 13 tells us to obey authorities, not because it will be an eternal reality, but because it is an earthly construct. Paul does go on to conclude by saying that every law can be summed up by this one; Love your neighbor as yourself. This is a better way to live. Future Pastor, lead others to be guided by love, not law. Granted, it will get you in trouble. You will be taken advantage of, but in doing so you will be aware of how the Kingdom of God is here already.

Here, you can have this back

2008-03-23T03:56:00.000-07:00

He is risen! These words will be spoken and celebrated around the world today as the resurrection of Jesus is commemorated on this Easter Sunday. But how can I know it’s real? Who’s to say it’s just not another story passed down from generations ago that we just accept as true? Why Jesus and not Mohammed or Budda? How can I be certain? Of course I’ve heard all the arguments about the primacy of Christ, that he’s either a lunatic, a liar or Lord. I’ve sat through the sermons using stacked boxes that represent other religions, and Jesus’ stack of boxes reaches the ceiling. I could hand you book after book that uses historical evidence, philosophical reason, and logical rationale for why one should believe in the resurrection of Jesus. And you may have also. But doesn’t something still fall a little short? I used to think that seeing it with my own eyes would have made it easier, but even the text itself says that it will be better for those who have NOT seen and yet still believe. How is that the case? If I could have only seen the empty tomb with my own two eyes, it would put all the disbelief aside. Or would it? Science and its facts only go so far in giving us what we think we need to believe. Science limits itself to what it experiences within the senses, and since Jesus is not physically present and doesn’t fit in a test tube, there isn’t the same kind of verification that Science demands, and therefore it seems logical to dismiss the claims surrounding him. Future Pastor, build the Church of the Future on this foundation. Recognize the limits of physical, philosophical and logical evidence for belief. These have their place and I would add that they can provide support, but nothing will substitute the one thing required for belief, and that is faith. To lead this way requires a confidence that the Spirit of Jesus can and will communicate Truth in a way that results in faith. It’s not all up to you. It’s not all on your shoulders. If it is, remove it and give it back. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. Continue to be kind to those who don’t believe like you. If arguments arise, don’t be defensive. Listen more, talk less. You may be getting in the way of what He is doing if you speak too much. Offer kindness and blessing. And in all of this, keep doing so by faith. He is risen, indeed!

Russians don't take a dump without a plan, son.

2008-03-16T06:04:00.000-07:00

Years ago, as I was leaving college, I had no clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life. Like you, I had a few dreams, but nothing definite or mapped out. There was a move on in my circles to try and push us to come up with a 5 year plan, followed by a 10 year plan, both of which were supported by a life verse, a personal mission statement and a detailed personal budget. Needless to say, my leaders were out of touch with where we were as students. We were looking for pizza coupons in the trash, not graph paper to draw impressive looking pie charts and Venn diagrams (unless it would have helped us get dates.) “Aim at nothing and you’ll hit it every time.” This was the club used to beat us into submission. Future Pastor, I’m not advising you not to try and plan your future. I only want you to feel free from the burden of feeling like you have to have everything figured out right now. Planning is always a good idea, but to a certain extent it falls short and needs to be accepted as such. There is no way at age 24 I could have even imagined owning a restaurant of which I started from an idea and very little capital. I have both a college and graduate level degree, neither of which are food related. And I don’t feel like either was a waste of time or money. What I would recommend, however, is that whatever decision you make, be aware if it is proactive or reactive. The reason this is important to determine is that you may just be running from something instead of toward anything. The summer after I graduated college, I had no job, no girlfriend and no money. At about 11:30pm one night I got a call from a guy I knew asking me to move to California to be a youth pastor in their young, growing church. Given the lack of options, this seemed like a good one. At least someone was extending an invitation, which was more than I ever had. After a few days of consideration, I decided to move. As I was talking through the decision with a friend, he asked me if I going to California, or just leaving Oklahoma. I asked what he meant, and he said to just make sure California was where I really wanted to be and not just an excuse to leave my troubles in Oklahoma. This distinction sunk in and I retracted my decision a few days later. Sometimes we need a fresh start, and a drastic move like that is just the ticket, but for me it wouldn't have gotten me any closer to my heart's desire. Keep learning who you are and let that uniqueness define and shape you and what you do. Don’t be so concerned about the details of the future as you are with the details of your identity. Knowing this helped me make the decision to leave the Church As We Know It and start creating my role in the Church of the Future. I think it will serve you well, also.

Could you just shut up?

2008-03-08T04:15:00.000-08:00

I’m listening to NPR on the way home from work yesterday and hear an interview with Richard Dawkins, noted atheist and author of The God Delusion. I’ll admit that people who don’t think like me can be very interesting, especially when you have thought out your point of view as thoroughly as he has. I don’t know if it was my 4 Laws training or just human nature, but I found myself reflexively trying to mentally refute or respond to his arguments about why he does not believe in God. With every statement, I would come up with a counterpoint. But then I realized what I was doing. I was not listening to the man’s position. I was only setting myself up to swat the ball back into his court. I was not trying to understand, because I was not taught to do so. It seems imbedded into the evangelical DNA since so many of us seem to be guilty of this kind of response. The radar is always scanning for thoughts to take captive, for fear that if I don’t, I will be guilty of some sort of treason. Future Pastor, this is my point I’ve been trying to make that the Church of the Future will not feel this need to impulsively be defensive. As I was listening to Dawkins, I kept asking myself if I could just listen to him and try to understand where he was coming from. But for some reason, to do this has become equivalent to compromising your faith. Solomon reminded young people like you that speaking before listening is not a good thing. He went so far as to call it foolish, even shameful. I don’t know anyone with whom I’ve argued that changed their position because I refuted it, but I do know plenty of people who have said, “Thanks for listening.”

Don't Stop; Rock the Flock

2008-03-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

You need not despair over what you are seeing and reading about the decline of the Church As We Know It. You probably read some of the same blogs I do written by people who are disillusioned with their faith. Seems like every day there is a new “Why I Hate Going to Church” book being printed. Let me offer you some perspective on this. You know the principle of physics, “for every action, there is a reaction.” The Church As We Know It has been in reaction mode for as long as I have been a part of it. You probably aren’t old enough to remember when Christian Rock became a genre. The big defense that supported that style of music was that it sounded kinda like real rock and roll, but it had safer lyrics. Didn’t really matter that Led Zepplin sounded better than Servant. The action of Rock produced the reaction of Christian Rock. Then there was Evidence that Demands a Verdict, which locked us in evangelism on defense mode for 30 years. We had to have an answer for EVERYTHING. “I’m not sure” just wasn’t good enough. The world around us was going to hell in a handbasket and it was up to our generation to stop it. And if we failed it was because we weren’t vocal enough, or well prepared. Fast forward a bit. Even today one of the more hip publications you are reading is called Relevant. Why, may I ask, does the editorial staff feel the need to be so defensive about their content? Who are they trying to convince? Do I feel better about what I am reading with such a title to remind me that, yes indeed, I am relevant? I’m not trying to smack the magazine. I’m just trying to point out how The Church As We Know It does not seem to operate from a secure core. Why else would it be so defensive? Future Pastor, I believe the despair that you are witnessing is good and necessary to usher in the kind of change that will allow the Church of the Future to emerge. The Future Church will not be a reactionary one. It will not feel the need to convince itself that it is right and the world is wrong. It will operate from its beliefs regardless of what the culture around it is doing. In the Future Church you won’t see any need for comparisons of culture. You won’t have to put out statements like “if you like Foo Fighters, you’ll love the guitars sounds of My Hair Points to the Sky…” The cottage industry of refuting popular books like DaVinci Code won’t be necessary. Kids won’t have to wear A Breadcrumb & Fish t-shirts. They just won’t care anymore. I believe we are in exciting times. We are in the process of spiritual awakening unlike anything History has ever seen. Most folks don’t see it this way, but I do, and I hope you can catch a glimpse of it as well. You can’t be looking for a revival like the previous Great Awakenings a hundred years ago. In those movements, the Church As They Knew It flourished, but not so with this one. Our 21st Century Great Awakening will create a new expression, because new wine won’t keep in old wineskins. Make it your goal to live deeply in the faith in which you are convinced. Even if you are not convinced, take all the time you need to work it out. Stop worrying. Lighten up. Don’t be so uptight. SomeOne started something in you and won’t abandon it until it is complete.

My mansion is bigger than your mansion

2008-02-28T18:47:00.000-08:00

My guy today on the radio was telling us about the importance of establishing our rewards in heaven. Salvation, he said, cannot be earned, but our good behavior will lead to a bigger heavenly home, more jewels in our crown, more blessings to enjoy. What I never have been able to reconcile with this teaching I have heard all my life is how this actually works. As I also have been taught about heaven, everything will be set right in relationship. There will be no more tears, no more sorrow. We will no longer envy or hold any jealousy toward our brother. There will be no need for a competitive spirit If this is the case, why would it matter if you’ve got more jewels in your crown than me?

Flies in the Ointment

2008-02-27T18:39:00.000-08:00

I probably will go to hell for this thought, but I often like to consider how life might be different if the Bible had a few little changes in the story along the way. I am humored at the situations that I create in my mind, which is a good indication that I need a vacation. For example, King David is held pretty high in the eyes of most evangelicals that I have been around. He is, after all, the man after God’s own heart. How much better recommendation can you get? Who wouldn’t want to be known as that guy? Never mind that David committed adultery and murder. He gets a pass because he wrote lots of worship songs that we still refer to today. He killed Goliath and that gets lots of miles in both Vacation Bible School and Big Church. All those years herding sheep makes for good sermon illustrations. But what if David was bisexual? How would the story change? Instead of lusting for and eventually sleeping with the woman of desire, and then killing her husband, what if he had an encounter with another man? Could he still qualify as the man after God’s own heart? If not, why not? We assume a murderer and an adulterer can, but how about one who has a different sexual orientation? Every culture will have its imperfections. If the crusaders were to succeed in taking American back for Christ, what will they do with those who don’t think like they do, once they make it happen? After all, aren’t we all broken in some way? And aren’t we each searching for a way to be made whole? Future Pastor, you do not have to give up a sense of ideal when it comes to how you believe life is intended to be lived. Your faith is deeper than morality and how it is expressed in the culture you find yourself. Don’t allow the recovery of morals to take the place of searching for faith. This is what the Son of Man is interested in finding when he returns.

Wow, I'm glad I didn't step in it.

2008-02-24T06:45:00.000-08:00

If you attended a form of the Church As We Know It today, may I ask what the topic of the sermon was about? Or rather, what was the tone of the topic? The further away I move from the Church As We Know It, the more I am struck by how negative are the ideas that get dispensed. As I listened to my porn station on the radio while driving one day last week, it dawned on me that every single message handed out during the short time I listened was negative in nature. Each preacher seemed to feel the need to remind us of how evil our culture is, how anti-family the democrats really are, how to keep teens off drugs and in church, how to not say bad words, how to not be in debt, how to not be influenced by movies and music. One guy bashed himself constantly against his sermon topic, reminding his audience that he struggles with this particular issue over and over again and is just another sinner saved by grace and that’s all any of us ever are and we shouldn’t expect anything more and God help us and be patient with us and forgive us and we are the problem and we are just all bad people, and lets bow for prayer….Whew! Not very inspiring. Future Pastor, if you are going to lead the Church of the Future, you have to change your orientation toward what it means to be a new creation. If we are in Christ, we are a new creature. I take that truth to mean that we really are new, brand new. Therefore, we can act like it. This also means you need to treat people like they are new. Expect them to do good, not evil. Act like they have the capacity now to know right from wrong. Trust them to be inclined toward the Spirit. The more you do this, the more they will believe it. The average leader in the Church As We Know It looks out from his pulpit at his audience and seems to think that these people are all about two minutes away from spiritual oblivion. This explains the tone of the sermon you heard this morning. The pastor doesn’t believe you are a new creation because he doesn’t believe it personally. My dad always used the old term, "He don’t know shit from Shinola." This is true of too many leaders in the Church As We Know It. It sounds harsh, but I really believe it is that simple. Future Pastor, the more you acquaint yourself with all things good and free, you increase the distance between what is good for you and what is detrimental. Then you won't need to spend so much time teaching people what is shit and what is Shinola.

Administering CPR

2008-02-20T19:13:00.000-08:00

Future Pastor, I wouldn’t worry too much about your speaking abilities. I think the days of needing to hone your preaching skills are over. The Church of the Future will not need to be led by people who have to come up with something new to say to an audience every week. If you haven’t noticed, there is an overabundance of teaching resources available for consumption on the Internet. Anyone with an mp3 player can listen to their hearts content. Why does it need to come from you? The Church As We Know It is stuck in an old paradigm. Education through teaching and lecture worked better 20 years ago, before the Web took over. We learn through bits and pieces, a little here and a little there. Have you noticed what you do now when you have a question? You do a Google search. Need to know the capital of Romania? The latest on Darfur? The differences in political candidates? Chances are you’ll start with the Internet. If I were you, I would focus more on inspiring people than on educating them. Inspiration is the essential element to life. Breathing is more crucial than learning. Without air moving in and out of your lungs, you are essentially dead. All the best books and sermons in the world won’t help you one bit if you aren't inspired. Don’t choke the life out of those you lead.

I'll meet you there

2008-02-10T05:21:00.000-08:00

Dan Allendar said one time that in his years of counseling, he has determined that the only way someone breaks through an addiction is when they finally get bored of it. Addictions serve a purpose, and humans are not as stupid as they are just shortsighted, and as soon as the addict realizes he is not getting where he wants to go, then opportunity for change can be initiated. It appears to me that we are at similar kind of crossroads with the Church As We Know It. From where I stand, many are leaving it behind because, like any addiction, they’ve simply grown tired of it. It is not delivering what it promised. And since addiction is the exchange of control for the promise of reward, many are taking back the control of their spiritual lives that was given to the Church and finding that this new way of living brings more of what they had hoped. This movement is part of the journey toward The Church of the Future. It is a shift that will result in a more effective, but maybe not efficient, expression of community, healing and wholeness. It is this germination process that I am fascinated at watching while out at night on the wall. On the other hand, Our Culture As We Know It needs to keep going in the opposite direction. The further away it gets from the Future Church, the greater distinction there will be between the two. As it is, Culture looks too much like The Church As We Know It. I don’t see a whole lot of difference. Both seem to have little power to make effective change. So Current Pastor, if you are wondering why men are leaving your Church, ask yourself what you are giving them? Is it really worth their time? Be honest with me, and more importantly, yourself. Do you lay in bed at night worried about it? Let’s hope so. You’ve got to give them something that is Powerful, not Cultural. Do you know what I mean by this? Power flows from a source, and if you’ve lost a sense of that in your own life, its high time you do whatever it takes to get that back. This may include leaving your position. It may be sucking Life out of you instead of injecting you with it. If you are bored with what you are offering men, can you imagine what they might be saying when they leave your men’s meeting and go down the street to a sportsbar for a few beers and really talk? Future Pastor can, because he will be there with them.

I thought I ordered a macchiato?

2008-02-03T08:11:00.002-08:00

What is the Church of the Future, you ask? I’m not sure if I can even partially or adequately describe it. I confess I am only beginning my search for it, so in this way I am no expert or shouldn’t even be considered a leader. I was always told that you can’t lead people where you have never been, so if this is true I am disqualified to say anything until I have it all figured out. But, Future Pastor, if I can just speak to you as a friend, then maybe we can get somewhere together. I know I am guilty of oversimplifying, but here I go again. The differences between the Church As We Know It and the Church of the Future are pretty obvious and it helps me to narrow things down so I can get a grasp on the real issues. My experience with the Church As We Know It comes from a modern, efficient and practical approach to its function. For example, it meets on Sundays because most people don’t work on Sunday, so in this it is more practical than to try and do the same thing on Monday or Thursday. Its value for efficiency drives it to create multiple services so it can service as many people as possible in the time allotted. Starbucks takes a similar approach by setting up new stores with an easy in and out drive through lane. They also realized that brewing espresso by hand the old fashioned way takes way too much time, so efficiency wins out over quality by adding automated machines that kick out the product in record time. It’s not very good, but we don’t really care because everyone is in a hurry and don’t have the time to realize that we are settling for an inferior cup of coffee. But sugar and heat cover a multitude of gastronomical sins, so it’s all good. Our love of efficiency has led us to create the form of Church As We Know It. Never mind that we go mindlessly week after week never stopping to ask, “Is this what I really wanted?” It works the way it was designed, and we accept it and go on without asking any questions or thinking that it could be any different. Future Pastor, you can’t change Starbucks, but you can decide whether to go there or not. There are other ways to get an outstanding cup of coffee, you may just not be able to get it handed to you through your car window as you hurry along to wherever it is you are going. What will change your behavior is changing what you value. If savoring coffee as it was intended is most important, then you will figure out a way to make that happen, but if getting something sweet and hot in your hand without getting out of your car is what you want, then there are plenty of places to serve you. Do you see my point?

Can You Help Me Change My Tire?

2008-01-31T03:39:00.000-08:00

One tension that is causing me much consternation in my faith is that large chasm separating the things I’ve been taught and told are true and that which is reality. Seldom does it seem like I can hop from one side to the next and back again. Instead it seems like I stand on one side looking through binoculars toward the other, wondering what its like on the other side and just how do I get over there. Much of it has to do with how I was taught to tell others about Good News. My upbringing involved a 90-second to 3 minute Summary of the Story that could be offered at any place or time. The rationale given was based on the idea that we should always be ready to give an account for the hope that we have, whether that be in a checkout line or the Holy Grail of encounters: the Airplane. Now when I consider giving a reason for the hope that I have, that 3 minute Summary of the Story makes about as much sense as trying to tell a guy on the side of the road how to change a flat tire by reading him the brief facts from my birth certificate. It doesn’t seem to have any bearing on the matter at hand. The Good News is supposed to be about reconciliation, of bringing people back together, of making wrongs right again. So why is there so much division in the Church As We Know It? Why is the divorce rate no different among folks in it than outside of it? If BibleMan got wind of my objection, I’m sure he would quickly swoop down on my argument and take it captive before it did anymore damage. He would point the finger back and say that it is a You problem and not a Gospel problem, and to that I would say you’re probably right and quietly dismiss myself and go find another person with whom I could buy a pint and really talk about my issue. If the Story is true, why does it seem to lack power? If It is all It claims to be, why is there so little evidence of it? Why is the distinguishing difference between ChurchGuy and AverageGuy not a powerful life, but of what he does between the hours of 9am and noon on Sunday?

Food and Sex

2008-01-24T03:37:00.000-08:00

My friend brought up an interesting thought yesterday. We were musing the condition of the Church As We Know It and came to the topic of sexuality. “Why is the bulk of conversation about sex in church given in such negative tones? It makes about as much sense as culinary school offering more courses on gluttony than on making really good food.” “Good point,” I replied. “Run with that.” I lifted my pint to his for an affirming “clink.” While I admittedly haven’t had any kind of culinary training, most of what I have read or observed seems to show that the focus of the education is on being the best chef you can possibly be, not on how to keep people from being foolish with your food. The assumption is that most people can take care of themselves and your job is not to govern their actions, but to put something exquisite on a plate at their table. Future Pastor, your Future Church will make this same assumption. You will trust people to live and act like grown ups in the faith. You can do this because you believe that the Spirit is sufficient to help them know what is right and wrong and how to discern between the two. You won’t have to lay a guilt trip on folks to keep them in line. You will lead them to freedom and turn them loose to enjoy that as it was intended. You won’t need to make stories like “Supersize Me” in order to prove your point. Natural consequences of an action should be enough to tell people they shouldn’t gorge themselves on something that will make them ill. Put your focus on beauty, freedom and joy and see what happens. Won’t it be great when a generation grows up in the Church of the Future that doesn’t have the same baggage about sexuality as we did? And how ironic that it will take the one thing our leaders feared in us to bring about that kind change.

Dear Future Pastor

2008-01-20T20:45:00.000-08:00

Future Pastor, please go ahead and leave the Church As We Know It and set out toward what you deeply envision. Unless of course you are one of those who are being convinced that you should stick around and try to bring change from within. You’ve probably been encouraged by someone who tells you “we really need people like you to bring a fresh perspective.” But even if you have good ideas, what are the chances of them really getting implemented? You are probably a likeable person. What they are really saying is that they just don’t want you to leave. You have to do what you think is best, but I’m so glad I have left The Church As We Know It in search of the Future Church. Some have told me I have been missed, and I appreciate the sentiments. But I can’t look back and see any kind of sweeping change that my influence instigated. I got tired of being faithful to what exists. I needed a fresh start. Which could be what you need, too. How long have you been feeling this way? If it’s more than 2 years, I would say you’ve got to leave and embark on the journey to find the Future Church. I’ve known guys who give me the line that they want to stick around to help change the course of the ship, but the real reason they can’t leave is that they are just plain scared. They are afraid of what people might think, afraid that leaving might be burning a bridge of opportunity in the future, but especially they are afraid they think they can’t make that kind of financial risk. If yours is the last excuse, do you really want to be strapped to a way of doing ministry because it’s the only way you can earn a paycheck? Trust me; you don’t want to live with that kind of regret. Future Pastor, I can write to you this way because I know you well. I know what makes you tick, and status quo is not on the list. I would not say these things to just any Joe Schmoe. He wouldn’t get it. Others can stay where they are. The current way of doing church is just fine for them, and I am not being judgmental when I say this. But you are not one of them. For you to stay would make about as much sense as one of them trying to be you. You belong to the Future. You are the Future. Don’t miss out on the joy of what lies ahead for you. And for many others because of you.

Lord, help me be right

2008-01-19T06:40:00.000-08:00

I’ve come to believe that it is more important for most human beings to feel right than it is to do good. To me, the overwhelming body of words we have from Jesus centers on loving well. He summed it up for us by telling us to love God with all our heart and love our neighbor as ourselves, You’d think that should do us for a while, but is love really the first thing you think of when someone identifies themselves with Jesus? Part of the package we have been blessed with since entering this world is an inferiority complex. As babies we each had lots of needs that demanded attention and most of us have never grown out of that self centeredness. Good marketers understand this by blatantly exploiting your felt need for everything to be all about you. Google the phrase and find a hair salon and a bra named for it. There’s even a PR agency devoted to being all about you. Brilliant. The flavor of Christianity I was nurtured in seems to have the same bent. Church was built around felt needs, never really designed to go much further past that. Oh sure there was the focus on discipleship and of self discipline, but even still self seemed to be the benefactor and it left me with a feeling of superiority and not one of true sacrifice and service. Having a daily time of reading the Bible and praying made me feel better, but I’m not sure how it made the people around my life feel. You would have to ask them. Which is why I question the role of teaching and preaching in the Church As We Know It, of which I played a bit part. We say it’s to bring about life change, but does it really help me to take Jesus’ words about loving well seriously? I don’t believe the Church of the Future will rely on the central figure of the pastor as Teacher. If you haven’t noticed, we are not in want for teaching resources today. The Internet makes everyone and their dog’s sermon available. Why do I need to spend so much energy getting all my people in my building to hear me speak? Unless of course it really is all about me?

I am of

2008-01-15T03:55:00.000-08:00

I am reading a book by Mary Pipher called Writing to Change the World. In it she offers this exercise to help learn and understand your own voice. This is my first try. ====================== I am of Jack and June of route 2 box 162, of proud parents who believed in everything I set out to accomplish. I am of Oklahoma and its friendliness and its pride in its own and its simplicity and patriotism I am of small town and everyone knowing everyone and their business, of the cult of football and the longing to feel a part of it and the desire to reject it for what it was. I am of bad eyesight early on, of thick glasses and feeling different and awkward, and of gratitude for contact lenses that brought opportunity and not limitation I am of Church, the kind that taught the importance of a savior and a relationship therewith, that getting wet in a tank behind the stage was one of the most lauded and important decisions in the world. I am of social Church, where all my friends existed and thought like me and held common values and reinforced certain practices and ways of thinking that I would later come to reject. I am of identity Church, which shaped my lifestyle, from the kind of music I made and listened to and the books I read, to the job that I held for 18 years. I am of authority Church, where everything a preacher said was right, and everything you thought was wrong, which led to a blind acceptance that I was pretty much a loser that needed to work harder at not being such a bad person. I am of Busyness and not Idleness, where Saturdays growing up consisted of one hour of cartoons at 7am followed by a day full of work around the farm, of now preferring to plant a garden than watch TV, of feeling a need to clean or bring order instead of feeling like I’m doing nothing. I am of Self-Sufficiency, of relying on yourself out in the country, of not waiting on someone else to come along and help, but of getting it done by yourself with whatever you have on hand, and of not wanting the government to tell me to support and pay for someone who is just simply lazy. I am of all of these and more, much more than I will ever know or remember. I am of this blog, and of risking writing it, wondering if it will even be worth the effort, or if anyone would ever read it, but eventually of the comments from unknown sources saying thanks.

They said it can't be done

2008-01-09T03:47:00.001-08:00

Upon further reflection about the subscription piece this week, I thought about how suspicious people seem when you say you are doing well. “Yeah, but how are you REALLY doing?” “Great. Never better. Really.” It should be odd that the basic assumption of this publication is that you are not doing well, but it isn’t. It shows us what brand of faith we have created over the years, one that says the norm is subpar and that you and I are always on the brink of spiritual oblivion. So much so that it becomes lucrative to publish a magazine to address the condition. It’s sorta like thinking that no man could ever run a four minute mile. You live with that resignation your whole life, until one day, you finally see a man like Roger Bannister run one. For years men tried to break it and couldn’t, and yet six short weeks after Bannister made history, his record was broken by an Australian named John Landy. And since then it has become the standard achievement in short distance running. Order the magazine and you reinforce the editor’s belief that the four minute mile is impossible. Or you can trust the Spirit and believe you are brand new Creation, capable of doing greater things than even Jesus did. (I’m not making that up; Jesus himself said that, at least it’s in red letters in my version.) Future Pastor, realize you are quite capable of living the life you long for. Consider this: the one thing that could be holding you back is perception and not reality. If you have been told all your life by The Church As We Know It that limping along is the best you can hope for, I say you’ve been handed a bag of hooey. It might make plants grow, but not hearts of faith.

$23.97 worth of more guilt

2008-01-08T03:17:00.000-08:00

It was on the bottom of the stack of the usual credit card applications and various appeals for money I get on a daily basis. It was a classic piece of junk mail, and typifies the type of faith I used to pursue and the kind I want to leave behind. In bold red letters on the front of the envelope was printed, “WHERE’S THE FIRE?” Listed in bullet points along a left margin underneath were statements like, “You want more depth,” “You read the Bible because you should, not because you want to.” And “You wonder where the joy went?” "Sound familiar?" They couldn’t have summed it up any better. This was an invitation to purchase a subscription to a religious publication. I have to hand it to their marketing team, they know their audience is full of guilt and shame for not being a better disciple. There was a time when this kind of thinking made sense to me, and I probably would have shucked out the $23.97 to get a year’s worth of beatings in the form of a nice, glossy paged magazine. It strikes me odd that the Church As We Know It has created a such a culture of competitiveness. How did we get to this point? I remember the feeling too well. The playing field was spiritual disciplines and the score was kept by how well you did in a particular aspect of the game, depending on the values of the culture you were a part of. Mine happened to be Bible reading, verse memory and how many people with whom you got to share a Summary of the Story. If you did well in these areas, you got asked to do things a lot. And I played the game with the best of them. I worked the system. I fit the profile. I worked about as hard as any young man could. And like it said on the envelope, I wanted depth, read and memorized out of duty and obligation, and hated every minute of it. I wonder how many new subscriptions they will sell based on that piece of mass mailing. Probably quite a few, until people realize the competitive nature of the faith culture they have bought into. Future Pastor, there is a better way, and you know it. Find your joy and lead others there.

Milestones I will remember about 2008

2008-01-01T06:02:00.000-08:00

Marathon tired. One indelible memory of 2007 is the depleting fatigue I felt during the first few months of opening bread&cup. There is tired, and then there is what I call “marathon tired.” This kind of fatigue comes from prolonged exertion. When this happens, the mind has to kick in and take over, because the body is ready to stop. In runners’ terms, you may have heard this referred to as the Wall. The body hurts so badly, but the brain asserts its authority in order to get the task finished. I hope I never reach that point again in my life.
A 16 yr old. My son turned 16 this year, which in our state means the opportunity to drive a car on his own. In the US, a car is equivalent to personal freedom. He is free to move about as he pleases, and his mom and I are free to worry about him driving on the ice and snow. I grieve the loss of my little boy, but I am proud to watch a young man of strength emerge
Happy. For the first time in years, I can honestly describe myself as happy and not depressed. Actually looking forward to going to bed again is a relief. I used to not like lying down at night because of all the dark thoughts that seemed to be hanging from the ceiling over me, just waiting to fall and crush me under the weight. Those guys are gone now. Good riddance. Don’t come back.

A while back, Jack of All Trades and I were planning a ski trip to Colorado for our students. As I was checking a website for ski reports, one resort had a few pictures posted of the fabulous conditions due to all the new snow they had just received. Underneath the photo was typed “This is the way the day got started, and it only got better from here.” That set the tone for our trip. But I like to think that it is indicative of my future. When my depression began, I fully believed that my best days were over. I thought I had made my contribution and that my next job was just to get old. Oh, the foolishness of youth. I now see that even though my body is slowing down and will eventually give way, wisdom and joy supersede youthful vigor. As 2008 begins today, I see that bread&cup represents a starting point, not a destination. It serves as a daily reminder that better days lie ahead. After enduring years of waiting, planning and struggle, it eventually became a reality. Better days don’t mean that there won’t be hard times ahead, but patience and endurance will see us through to the other side.

2008 Resolution #3

2007-12-30T04:12:00.000-08:00

#3 Drink more I’m growing to love the gift of wine and all of its complexities, its history, the process of development, its beauty in the glass and the joy it brings to a gathering of good friends. I plan to take pleasure in more of it in 2008. Now why would I recommend this? The spirit of this resolution is to face what we fear. I was raised on a spirituality of fear, especially when it came to any kind of pleasure. The party line was summed up in statements like, ‘If I never take that first drink, I’ll never become an alcoholic!” The line of reasoning made sense, to a point, until I realize that the foundation of the logic was built on fear. Why go through life being afraid? It’s such a terrible way to live. Moderation is much more preferable than fear. The former tempers its actions on understanding; the latter does so out of ignorance. I’d rather protect myself through self-control than being afraid. I resolve to deepen the pleasures of my faith by rejecting fear and embracing love. Fear assumes I won’t do the best thing when faced with the choice. Love believes otherwise.

2008 Resolution #2

2007-12-28T16:39:00.000-08:00

#2 Gain more weight. Face it. You’ve tried every year to commit to some form of weight loss idea and it never works. Why not take a new approach this time around? Why not go in the other direction? Pig out. Gorge yourself. Tie on the feedbag. Here’s what I mean. A problem for most of us is that we don’t wait to eat until we’re hungry. We eat more as a habit or as an idea. Whoever said we needed three meals a day and that lunch should be around noon? Why is food a prime mode of chewing away the hours in a long car ride? We eat, but we may not be sure why. That’s why this year I propose that if we haven’t figured out why we keep eating when we’re not hungry, that we go ahead eat UNTIL we’re hungry. Eat, eat and eat until it become evident what we are really craving. I don’t believe people are as dumb as they are simply shortsighted. Eating a big bag of Fritos in the car on the way home may make sense in the moment. You’re tired, cranky, bored and doggonnit, why not pound down those chips? But not an hour later when your gut feels like crap, you wonder, “What was I thinking?” The soul craves for that which the body does not understand, yet the soul often looks to the body for its answers. By giving the body everything it craves, maybe, just maybe, the soul will finally realize that the satisfaction it wants will never be found in simple relief.

New Year’s Resolutions for 2008

2007-12-27T03:21:00.000-08:00

#1 Read the Bible less. Sure, it sounds heretical, but let me explain. Familiarity is the enemy of all things good. Why are family arguments the worst? It’s because family are the people with which we are most familiar. You don’t extend them the same grace you do other people. You are nicer to people on the street, perfect strangers, than you are to your own kind. Think about it. You’ve read the Bible everyday for who knows how long. Do you think during that time you may have become too familiar with it? By being so close to it, you may have missed something about its true essence, and maybe a fast from it might do you some good. I’m not talking about rejecting it, or not believing in it anymore. Just step away from the habitual practice of it. We may boast about how much and how often we read the Bible and how consistent we are in doing so, but when you read this challenge to slow it down a bit, what is your reaction? I would guess one reason you would say you can’t do it is you’ve made a commitment to do so. I would suggest you make sure that it really is a discipline and not a new law. Another reason might be fear. What would happen to me if I read the Bible one day a week this year? I’ve always been told that sin would keep me from the Book, or the Book would keep me from sin, so if I backed off from my daily indulgence of it, aren’t I just inviting wrongdoing into my life? You and I have more information available to us than any generation ever before, and that includes Bible information. This year, stop glutting yourself with more and more and more teaching, books and doctrine. Slow down and think about what you already know. Meditate on what you’ve already been given. Learn to relax and listen. Don’t be so uptight. Your stress of worry over slipping into sin may be worse for you than missing a day in Psalms and Proverbs.

Sun and Moon

2007-12-23T06:31:00.000-08:00

This morning, out on the wall, I love what I see. To the west of my home is the setting full moon, about 20 degrees above the horizon as it makes way for the morning sun to take center stage. The beams of light were so bright pouring into the living room through the slats of the mini blinds, it made me wonder if a car was in the driveway. Light has a beautiful way of ignoring the darkness. Every story has two sides. Every incident can be spun two different directions. Take a walk down the bookstore aisle marked Current Affairs and I find no less than 20 books about President Bush, how he is either the worst or toughest president in American history. Look further and you will find the same division about Hillary Clinton or John Kerry or the Republicans or Democrats and so on. Just pick what position you want to reinforce and you can find a book or radio talk show to support your view. The same is true for the Church As We Know It. For every publication you find in defense of Christianity, you can find a counterpoint that explains why the Christian faith is equivalent to Hilter in its wrongful impact on the world. So who is right and who is wrong? How do you know who to trust? Who is telling the truth? The moon was my reminder this morning on my morning watch. Light can actually be more noticeable when there is less of it around. How often do we take the high sun for granted, but you and I will stop the car to watch the sun go down over the water. Is the Church as We Know It becoming irrelevant? Is a sense of common morality a thing of the past? Is our country moving toward economic crisis? Is our world burning up by global warming and dependence on oil? Maybe yes, maybe no. These questions all have different answers, depending on your sources. But hope for me this morning is, regardless of whether the future looks bleak or not, this is something I can trust. There will always be room for light to shine. Darkness will never be stronger than Light. It can never get so dark that light has no effect. In fact, that might be when it’s most noticeable.

We have this many in...

2007-12-13T03:35:00.000-08:00

When you make a severe life change as I have in order to search out the Church of the Future, you must be prepared to face doubt. How do you know if you’ve done the right thing or not? When will I know if I succeeded or not? These are common questions a Future Pastor will eventually ask. Our usual proof of success is in the results. Did I accomplish what I set out to do? Did I find what I was looking for? But what if results don’t show you what you want to see or give you what you’d like to brag about? If I were attempting to plant a model of The Church As We Know It, I would likely want to tell you how many are in attendance, how many groups we have going, and how many people we baptized this year. These are the Big 3 in my tradition. So when asked about how my efforts are going in my search for the Church of the Future, my knee-jerk response is to go back to my roots and try and give an answer the inquirer might understand. It’s so much easier to say we have this many coming on Sunday than to try and describe the road of faith I have traveled in the last three years. It’s easier to describe what I am doing than to tell you what I am becoming. Each of these has its own measuring stick to gauge with, and even though the measuring stick for the latter is still the same (you’re still looking at becoming more loving, joyful, peaceful and so on), it seems to come up short more often now that you are paying more attention to it. So, Future Pastor, this is the reality of the road ahead if you plan to stay on it for the long haul. The way is difficult and unfamiliar, and it leads you far away from the place you are most comfortable. But it is the way of faith and faith will always lead you down paths where you can’t use your eyes, your most powerful and precious sense.

One of these things is not like the other...

2007-12-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

There is a process I am moving through I would refer to as congruence. This is another word for making sure things match. There have been quite a few pieces turned up in my faith journey that appear juxtaposed to the rest. Now that I have more freedom to ask why, I find some intriguing considerations. People who put their faith in Jesus are constantly reminded that you are to be “in” the world, but not “of” it. The understood meaning behind this talking point is that heaven is your real home, and you should in turn not embrace earthly values as you stand in the queue waiting for your number to be called to enter that destination. What came with this, at least in my experience, were all kinds of dichotomies, usually in the form of determining what is sacred and what is secular. This is where the genre of Christian Music came from. Rock music was secular, therefore a sacred alternative was needed, so we came up with something acceptable, regardless of how inferior it may have been. What made things worse was the delineation between the now permissible Christian music and the emerging slice known as worship music. It wasn’t enough to have your own category of tunes you could listen to without guilt, now you had something new to worry about. Now you had to ask, is the music worship or is it entertainment? My favorite time to observe this tension was when you went to a concert by a musical act known for their popular “worship” songs. The majority of the show would be jamming along until suddenly the sound of grinding gears makes you realize that we are coming to an abrupt halt. The leader of the group inserts what amounts to an apology for his self-centeredness and turns the show into a scene from The Church As We Know It. And most of the audience seems to understand what is taking place and moves right along with the current. Why did I feel like I was the only one in the crowd that didn’t get it? I guess I could have felt good that I got two shows for the price of one, but in that case it didn’t seem necessary. I believe the Church of the Future will be less about creating tidy boundaries like those labeled “worship music” and “other acceptable forms of music,” and more about seamless living. Eventually these constructs will not even make sense because freedom from law leads to security in faith. If beauty is found outside the border lines, the Church of the Future won’t realize that it once had to first be sanctioned.

I hate God

2007-12-07T01:58:00.000-08:00

I love bookstores, but often feel a bit of frustration at a place like Barnes & Noble because it reinforces the adage, “so many books, so little time,” but that’s not the point of this post. I’m perusing the table in the center aisle, the one with the placard that reads, “Thought Provoking,” and see that it is covered with books written by atheists. Always interested in what people are thinking, I read the index and dust covers of several. I found a common theme. People who debate the existence of God seem to always bring up how much evil has been done in his/her/its name. They cite the crusades as case in point, that religion does nothing but provide a structure for power disguised as righteous superiority. I might agree with that, to a degree. But for every bad act, the other guy can always find a good one that can be used to counter it. It leads to a vicious cycle of argument that never seems to go anywhere. In fact, one of my favorite Christian porn stars on the radio was comparing the crusades to the holocaust and other mass killings. His logic was that atheists over time have killed far more people than Christians. I’m not sure where he was going with that, but he seemed to think that was good rationale for the existence of God. This is why I believe even more now than ever, that a belief in God is an act of faith for which I alone am held accountable. God exists or doesn’t, regardless of what the human race has done under the banner of His cause. When I recently got hit by a drunk driver at 4:45 in the morning it didn’t change my view of alcohol because she misused and abused it. The young woman had a choice to do with it as she willed. I could easily form an opinion about it based on what she did with the said substance, but her poor choices need not create a definition for me to live by. Faith must find its roots deeper than just in my neighbor’s yard.

Random Acts of Redemption

2007-12-05T03:33:00.000-08:00

I got bumped from my flight back from San Antonio this weekend due to severe overbooking by the airline. There were several very unhappy customers as a result, including one man on the far end of the ticket counter who ended up in tears. After arguing to a point of futility, I gave in to the inevitability that I was not going to get on that plane for which I had a ticket. After being rescheduled for the next day, I resigned to the row of seats in the waiting area near the revolving doors to wait on my friend to swing back around and pick me up. As I sat, I saw the man who was tearfully pleading his case eventually do the same thing. He dragged himself over in my direction to regroup and wait it out. I commented, “Rough day, huh?” He proceeded to give me his story. He was starting his brand new job on Monday morning and was afraid of how this would look to the new boss, and to top it off he ended with, “And all I’ve got is a buck to my name.” By this time, my buddy had arrived and I needed to leave, so I pulled out a twenty and offered to bless him in that way. As with most random acts of kindness like that, he was not really sure how to react, but I insisted and persisted, and said, “Let me help make some good in your otherwise crappy day.” Mission accomplished. In situations like this, why is it we always seem to want an explanation for the circumstances in which we find ourselves? When I get bumped from a plane, it’s usually not enough to think that the plane was full and I was just one of the unlucky ones that got hosed. I need a motive, a cause or a purpose for the incident. I want to think that God had something in mind for making me miss my flight. I don’t try to answer that question much anymore. I don’t believe bad things happen so we can do something good. It’s more like when bad things happen, what are my choices in the matter? I don’t believe the reason I missed my plane was so God could arrange me to give that dude twenty bucks. Maybe it was, I’m just not that certain about it. Bottom line, however, is this: I found myself in a cruddy situation and yet still had a choice in how to respond. Redemption doesn’t always need to have reason.

Why you should quit the ministry.

2007-11-29T03:35:00.000-08:00

Maybe this title is a little harsh. I guess I should say this post is about why I quit the ministry and why I’m glad I did. You can do whatever you want and should only act on a sense of faith. This is the only thing that matters. What I think is nothing compared to walking by faith. Do any of these statements sound familiar: “_______ is a hard city/town/state/region/country/people group to bring the gospel to.” “The soil is hard here.” “People aren’t responsive to the gospel on my campus." Ministry is hard work. Some of this has to do with the nature of working with people. It’s not like you’re making widgets for a buck and selling them for ten and demand out weighs supply. Folks have choices, a past, needs and quirks. These dynamics are impossible to control. You can only deal with what you face. But on top of that you have spiritual factors. Receptivity, resistance, and unseen opposition, to name a few. These are equally impossible to exert influence over. When I first started my work with university students, I had an encounter I will never forget. I was sitting in a prayer group when a man pulls out his bible and began reading from Zechariah. He got to the phrase in chapter 8 that said, “…let us go with you, because we’ve heard that God is with you.” At that point I broke down, sobbing, for who knows how long. It felt like an hour, could have been five minutes. I have no idea. Why did I have that kind of out of the blue reaction to an obscure Old Testament reference? Upon reflection, the only thing that made sense was that this is what I wanted my life to be about. This is what I thought my contribution in ministry would be. It’s what I believed would be the vehicle of the good news. Not a tract or an illustration on a napkin, but instead seeing it carried along by people among whom God was real and obvious. Nowhere in my spiritual development did anyone ever share this idea with me. Instead, the Gospel was dependent on me to share a Summary of the Story in five minutes or less. Soon after that I committed myself to praying for awakening. I invited other colleagues to join with me to ask God to do the kind of thing spoken of in Zechariah 8. We prayed together for at least 10 years. Nothing even came close to what we envisioned. Eventually I grew discouraged, ready to give up. I started entertaining other vocational options. I started feeling like a fool. Had I given my best years and effort to a pipe dream? It took about four years, but during that time I came to believe that I hadn’t wasted my life. I was free to change vocations, but I was not at liberty to discard the vision that was handed to me. I may reach my grave and never see that kind of spiritual movement, but that fulfillment was never to be my goal. Mine was to live by faith, always moving toward that dream. So I left the vocational ministry, opened a business, and got something of my soul back in the process. I was like The Farmer who was committed to his land, and every day of the year hitched his plow to the ox and tried plowing his drought hardened field. Faithful to the task, yet it was cripplingly discouraging. He always wanted to be a farmer, but the work was too much to bear. Without rain, his work was hopeless. He talked to other farmers who were doing the same thing, daily scraping the crusty surface of dirt, with a dust cloud being the only evidence of labor. They told him to stay the course, that a good farmer never quits. “This is hard work, son, what did you expect?” So he got an idea. The Farmer believed rain would one day return, so instead of tearing up his back and his plow on a hard field, he spent his time on other tasks. He started enlisting a handful of city kids, a few young non-farmers, people who had no preconceived notion of how to farm. He shared his vision of the eventual rainstorm that would come and soften the soil and make it capable of plowing again, and that when this happened, he was going to need some help. He showed these few how to build a plow and make it sharp so once the rain came, they would be ready to go. I will always be The Farmer, and just because I’m not in the same university field I once was is no indication that I have given up. I’m just in a better position to wait for rain now.

Jesus and the Mob

2007-11-28T02:42:00.000-08:00

I’m not a pacifist. Jesus told us that if we choose to live according to the sword, we would have to be willing to accept that we will die in the same way. If we adopt a way of living that includes killing, we can’t expect to escape the same fate. The more people I knock off, the more will want to return the favor. In a round about way, this is why I’m intrigued by mob movies. It befuddles me to consider how people in the mafia go about their business. All in a normal day you might whack someone for not paying back a loan, break another guy’s kneecaps for looking at your sister wrong, and then go home and tuck your kids in bed. How would you ever rest? Your job assures that you have your share of enemies, all of which want the same fate for you. Our freedom handed to us by Jesus means that we have a choice of how to live and how to die. I have to accept others liberty to live by the war metaphor. If you believe we are at war against the ACLU, that’s your prerogative. You will have to die by the same weapons you wield. If I’m an asshole, it shouldn’t surprise me when I get treated like one.